My 10 - almost 11 year old is scared of everything....?

Question

He's a tough guy on the football field, he stands up for himself with other boys...but when it comes to sleeping at night or even sitting in the car in our driveway while I run into the house, you'd think a monster was there getting ready to yank him out of the car and kidnap him.

Please help me! I have NO idea WHAT to do! I've tried everything I can think of.

He will lay awake for hours with his eyes wide open. Every night, he'll wake up with a bad dream around 2:00 a.m., and either crawl in bed with his little sister or with me.

It's not because his father and I are divorced, either. It was happening before we got a divorce. Since he was a little baby he never wanted to be too far away.

When he's playing outside or him and his friends go to the park, he will call me to come get him because there's people there he doesn't trust. Yes, it's good that he's cautious of other people but have I made him afraid of his own shadow??

PLEASE HELP!!

Answer 1

I was like that when I was 8...I also was a bedwetter that same year...I grew out of both by the time I was 9....my parents either let me in bed with them or they told me I was gonna be okay and let me sleep int eh guest room right next to theirs.....

If he is scared of the dark let him have a nighlight...I will admit it I am 14 almost 15 and still have a nightlight....it is not that I am terrified of the dark anymore...I don't particularly like the dark but ya I still have a nightlight...I use it a lot to see in my bathroom which is attached to my room and it shines in my room too..you can buy little cheap small ones like the one I have...they are not expensive at all and they work great.

by the way I had the night terrors at 8 too

Answer 2

maybe you have a ghost in your house that is scaring him.

im not joking im serious, so i hope you dont think im crazy.

maybe there is a ghost of someone who is making him nervous. it makes sense to me..laying in bed eyes wide open..having bad dreams..and not trusting people. they all sound like signs of a ghost.

even if you think im crazy i suggest you ask him if he ever sees someone in the house you cant see.

if you take this seriously you can find someone to help online..maybe mary ann winkowski? just google her

Answer 3

From the time I was a baby to about 17 I suffered from "night terrors" they are very different from bad dreams. I was always worried that something bad was going to happen, I sensed things about strangers that scared me to death! For about 10 years I would wake up screaming at night, my sister and or mother would have to hold me down so I would not hurt myself in my sleep. Once I came to, I had no idea of what had happened. My mom took me to the doctors and they arent sure what causes children to be like that. They also said it goes away in time. I hope I made sense just now, its just when I read your question, it really sounds like something I went through.

Answer 4

It sound's like your son has watched a scary movie at a friends house, or had a bad dream. I have a little sister that age and she's scared of everything. It's normal that most kids are scared of something, but usully you would never notice.

Answer 5

Try therapy. Has this child been molested and has not told anyone. If this is the case maybe you need professional assistance. Your child may know the person that is molessting them and may have been threatened with further harm if they told. I would not be looking for answers thru this format. You need professional help either way whether if his fears are real or imagined. I think that at his age he should not be afraid to be alone or afraid of the dark. I may be reaching a little on the molestation thing but you never know.

Answer 6

Just let him know hes safe and that you will not let any thing hurt him or get to him.

Also if hes eatting late at night then maybe thats what is have him have bad dreams.

Just let him know he is ok and that nothing can hurt him and hes going to be fine

Answer 7

I think when kids go through this it is because they have had some sort of "life realization", as I call them.  Like when they realize their parents will die someday, that the world is an unpredictable place, that there are bad people who commit crimes on random people, that someday he will move away from you.  This is harder on some kids than others, depending on how sensitive and insightful they are.  My son is like that, was VERY worried about natural disasters when he was younger, and now worries about things he sees on the news (he is 12).  It's like when they think about it, they can so vividly imagine it happening that it's overwhelming.

I don't think there is anything you can do about it except wait for him to grow out of it.  My son has gotten a lot better, but there are still things that make him anxious, and we still monitor what he is exposed to via the media (no true crime documentaries, etc like some kids his age can watch).  If things get worse over time, you might want to take him to see a therapist in case he has an anxiety disorder.  Just try to accept his situation the best you can by giving him emotional support and if he calls, pick him up, etc.  

You might also try going through each scary scenario and do a "what is the worst that could happen/what is the best that can happen/what is most likely to happen?" process, which might help him see the reality of the situation.  Good luck and go give that boy a hug!

Answer 8

OMG!!! I thought my son was the only one who did that. i remember he never liked to sit in the back seat of the car if it was dark out. I wanted to buy him a bed that had drawers underneath, He freaked, he wanted it open underneath i guess to hide if he felt scared. He wouldn't walk down the hall way by himself. he only did this when it was dark. Seriously, I tried everything. He kinda grew out of it on his own, He's not so bad now, but still has his moments. He's almost 10 (June). Just hang in there. Ask him what he's afraid of. I believe with my son it was some sort of separation anxiety, all his brothers are grown and moved on.

Answer 9

take him to a therapist (no that does not mean is has mental problems) but it seems very complex

Answer 10

Buy him a Glock.  What he is going through is so normal for a kid his age.  My son was exactly the same way, up until he was about 14.  I would wake up in the morning to find him asleep at the foot of my bed asleep on the floor because he was afraid to be alone in his room at night.  He is in his early 20s now, and likes to backpack solo.  It gets me scared knowing that he is walking around the mountains alone with nobody around.