My 10 month old is very independant. He hardly ever let's me hold him except at night. You don't think this...

Question

is because he is adopted? We have had him since he was born.

Basically, he is a very happy and independant baby. He hardly ever cries, sleeps great, and is hardly ever fussy. I just get concerned because throughout the day I hardly ever hold him. We play together all day long and have fun, but I'll try to cuddle with him and it's just not his thing. He just wants to get out of my lap and get going again. He will let me cuddle him at night before bed.

Has anbody ever had a baby with a personality like this?

Answer 1

Sweetie, Don't worry about it. Some babies are like that especially boys I think.

Both my nephews when they were little didn't like to be held that much either.

Also my ex husbands daughter has never wanted hugs from anyone. Every child is different and it's normal. Every child has different personalities. It's not a bad thing.

Answer 2

not trying to scare anyone but my baby brother was just like this

then just a few months ago the docters found out he was autistic

this was actually one of the signs

i would look into it

Answer 3

I was the child you describe and I have my own theory about the adoption thing and subsequent behaviour, but don't want to get shot down here for it.

Two of my three were very 'cuddly' at your son's age.   But the least 'cuddly' child had become the MOST cuddly of the three by the age of 3

Each child is an individual personality type (I can vouch for this because I have three, two of which are twins yet totally different at every stage!)

You sound like a great mommy, and by devoting your time to your son at this stage, I believe you will be greatly rewarded.  Be there for him, whenever and however he needs you.

Take care

Answer 4

Yes,  we fostered then adopted a little girl who was 1 day old when she came to us.  She was the absolute best baby temperament  wise.  She very rarely cried and entertained herself most of the time.  She is now 5 years old, and is usually way ahead of the game.  She is still very independent and can usually handle about anything by herself.  Whether or not she would have been this way had she been a biological child of mine, I don't know.

Answer 5

My son is the same he is Three now and I only get to snuggle him early mornings, late nights, and when he is sick. I sometimes let him sleep with me so I can snuggle but he will go in his bed if I am bothering him. I think it is boys! He also just stopped breastfeeding at six months he has always been so busy.

Answer 6

my daughter was very independent. In fact for her first two months I couldn't even hold her without constant screaming. I was adopted and it was very big thing for me to actually hold a blood relative. To be able to love her and hold her. It crushed my heart every time I would try to touch her. She is two now, and she is nothing but a daddies girl. She won't even let my wife brush her teeth. She'll throw a fit until i come in and help. In some ways good but i have to be careful not to let that get out of hand. My point is that other children have gone through it. Just don't let you as parents be fooled and not develop that bond that is necessary. My parents and I never had that bond. We love each other but it's not like I love my kids. Stay strong, this won't last for ever. Just keep giving that baby all the love in you.

Answer 7

Once they get into that independent stage, they want to do everything themselves and cuddling is the farthest thing from their minds.  My son only wants to be held when he's sick or when he doesn't want to do something he is told.  : )   I usually know something is wrong when he comes over and snuggles with me.

Answer 8

Yep, and when I sang to him he would scream 'No mummy no.' clasp his hands over his ears and the tears would roll down his face.

He is now 31 years old and a lovely boy who understands me and when I am having trouble is my rock of Gibraltar.

His taste in music is heavy metal so I suppose I can take it as a compliment that he didn't like my lullabies.

We had a difficult time with him in his teen years running away from home but I could see the writing on the wall and we used to discuss where he could go to if he couldn't stand it at home. He wound up running off to grandma's at 16 and when he moved out to a room of his own we were able to be friends and I would visit him  with baskets of groceries.

In short parenting is no easy job and kids never do exactly what you would expect but just listen to what they are telling you , respect their choices and help them to follow their dreams. Love is amazing what it can achieve.

Answer 9

Some babies are cuddlers and some aren't. He's happy and independent. Enjoy the night cuddles.

Have you tried the get on the phone trick? If you want your child to come find you and need cuddling, just pick up the phone and there they are, begging for attention. Oh, the bathroom works great too. Close that door and suddenly they need you.

He's normal.

Answer 10

we adopted our daughter when she was 8 months old and she was never a very clingy huggy touchy baby I always assumed it was because she was adopted and never had that affection before but I soon came to realize it was because she couldn't get into anything sitting on my lap or being cuddled she was the most adventurous and busy child I have ever seen shes 7 now and I can't get her off my lap but she still finds time to get in to mischief give it time he is just enjoying his new found freedom and just think he goes to bed every night with a hug from mommy

Answer 11

Some babies are like that.  My son, who is just a huge snuggle bug and wants to be on me at all times right now, even went through a phase like that.  

Your guy may go through a phase later of wanting snuggles like crazy.  Just don't let it worry you.  He's a normal little man.

Answer 12

I've known several children like this over the course of my career, and none of them were adopted, all were living with their biological parents.

All children are different.  Be glad he's an independent little guy.  Once it is time for school, it will be easier for him to transition than for the clingy kids.

Answer 13

Honestly, I think it's his age. He's probably moving around pretty well on his own by now. Maybe even walking or trying to walk. He wants to explore--not be held!

My nephew is a year old now, but when he finally mastered crawling and was learning to walk (he's pretty good at it now), he didn't want to be held anymore. He still doesn't. He'd much rather be off and moving--checking out anything he get his hands on. He doesn't even like to be put to bed--he fights it like no tomorrow!

So, really, I think it's normal. Some kids are clingy, others are adventurous and independent!

Answer 14

I have three, none adopted.

My oldest has NEVER been a snuggler/cuddler from day one. When my DH and I hug her, she always says, "Okay, that's enough."

I think your son is spreading his wings...

Answer 15

My two and a half year old girl was exactly like this.  She hardly ever let me cuddle her even as a baby.  I used to have put her in high chair (lying back) and prop up her bottle to give her as she wouldn't lay down on my lap.  Nowadays though, she really loves a cuddle.  My daughter is very very independant and from a very early age had to feed herself and now has to dress herself, do her hair herself, put shoes on etc. This is very time consuming when you are in a hurry to go somewhere but that is just the personality she has.  Don't worry about your little boy, he is showing his independance early and there is nothing wrong with that.  All kids are different.

Answer 16

I would def just say it was his age. He's prob just discovering new things and wants to be left just to get on with it. They are funny at that age. My little one was like that too. Dont worry, this has nothing to do with him being adopted.

Answer 17

You might want to schedule a regular nap time for him and hold him and rock him to sleep or lay down with him and read to him or sing to him until he falls asleep.  That age needs a nap every day.  I got my grandson to let me cuddle him at nap time by making a game out of it.  We had pictures of animals on the wall and I would describe each animal in detail in a soft rythmic voice and he would stare at the picture looking for each detail I was describing.  It became a real special time for us.  I then started rubbing his head and his hair and would say, you have such pretty, blond hair, then move to his forhead and say you have a nice smooth forhead that is just the right size, etc.  It was just like describing the animals, but with touching him instead.  Everytime I got to his eyes I would gently put my fingers on his eye lids and brush them closed while I described his eyebrows, eye lashes, and his pretty blue eyes.  He would be asleep in no time.  But he became so mesmerized with the game he started looking forward to it and would put my hand on his hair and say, hair.  His Mom asked me what he wanted at night.  He would cry for me and say Hair.  I told her he wanted to be cuddled to sleep and she needed to find her own way of touching him and soothing him to sleep.  He's seven now and still once in a while when he sleeps over asks me to come "tell him about his face" and just lets me snuggle and pet him to sleep.  You have to find your own thing that works for him.  Good luck.