My 10 year old got mad at me because I let another kid from her school borrow her sweater without asking.?

Question

My daughter said i should have asked her first. Instead, since we weren't using it and the girl was freezing, I immediately volunteered it without hesitation.

Do I owe my daughter an apology?

I think it's because she doesn't like the girl we lent it to all that much but it was the other girls' chaperone and I discussing it; not the kids... what do you think?

Answer 1

Yes, you should have asked.  If she did that with something of yours, you would be upset, wouldn't you?  

If you want her to respect your things, you should set a good example.

Answer 2

Sorry, but you were in the wrong. How would you like it if someone took something of yours and let someone borrow it without asking first? You'd be upset too. You should have said "Do you mind if so and so borrows a sweater since they are cold?"  Then respect the answer that your child gives- be it yes or no.

Answer 3

Let's just say that it was your stuff that was being lent to a person you didn't like? Yeah i think you need to apologise because if the girl needed it really badly and you asked your daughter she would have lent her.

Answer 4

10 is a very young age. She needs to learn to share although she is very young i think she needs to learn

Answer 5

who cares!!!

Answer 6

Yeah that's not cool you shouldn't have done that.

I understand what you were doing but your daughter doesn't see it that way.  I would just say sorry I disrepected your stuff but I was just trying to help her out.  And just leave it at that.

Answer 7

This was the right thing to do, as long as your daughter didn't end up being the freezing one and she had something else.  You might want to apologize anyways, and say "I'm sorry I took your sweater without asking, and I know I should have, but I didn't want _____ to freeze"

Answer 8

Well two things, one I think that you should apologize to her for not have permission etc. and two it is greedy for your daughter to not want that specific girl wear HER sweater. She also may be a little uncomfortable with other kids wearing her stuff

Answer 9

Why don`t you respect your daughter enough to have asked her -- could we lend your sweater to Sarah since she is cold and we are not using it?

It is her sweater and she should have had the right of refusal but hopefully you have raised her to be a compassionate human being so in that situation she would have been okay with it.

Maybe it is your failure to respect your daughter and treat her like she has some power over her own life that made her mad.

Answer 10

who bought that sweater

Answer 11

Well,, i would be pretty  mad if my mom gave my sweater to a girl i didnt like but since it was freezing out you should explain to your daughter that if she didnt have a sweater and was freezing that you would want her momto give it to your daughter and maybe she will understand

Answer 12

No.  Your daughter needs to learn a bit about compassion.  The other girl had an immediate need.

Answer 13

Some kids arn't up to sharing things with people they don't know or arn't friends with. Some kids just don't like sharing with others. Just explain to her why and she might understand.

Answer 14

You should have talked to her about it first. I am sure she would have agreed to help the girl who was cold.  She might have wanted to share a different sweater. It must have made her feel like her things don't really belong to her, if they can be taken without consulting her. It is easy to forget that children have many of the same emotions as adults. Just think how you would feel if your husband took a piece of your clothing without asking first and gave it to his friend. Wouldn't you feel discounted?

Answer 15

h**l yes you owe your daughter an apology.  You took something that didn't belong to you and gave it to someone else.  How RUDE.  It wasn't your daughter's fault the child was freezing, what was wrong with the child's mother supplying a sweater for her daughter?

Answer 16

I don't think you need to apologize - I would talk to her about it to find out why it was a problem, then take it from there.

Answer 17

so when she loans your clothes out WE don't wanna hear about it.