My 10 year old is forgetful and won't remember a single thing I have asked him to do only minutes later...

Question

I am at my wits end and I provide positive reinforcement to the best of my abilities but he just does the stupidest things... I realize kids do this but he is out of control... such as me saying what is that in your hand... he sticks the icecream sandwich behind his back "a sucker" he says completely lying to me when I saw what it was, now he is grounded again, he lost his glasses, and typed in naked at the library in school but when I asked him he said he just did it becuase he doesn't know why...I don't want him to feel unloved, but we pride ourselves on our parenting, we pay attention to our children, we limit TV and have structured chores and activities... he is getting good grades and has friends and whatnot but I can't help but wonder what his brain is thinking at least once a day... I don't want to have him evaluated too hastily as I do not believe in drugging children and I don't want to give him a complex, I need a good book reccommendation... I am a reader!!!

Thanks Nicci

Answer 1

My son is 10 and in the fourth grade he is  severly ADHD he was evaluated and diagnosed in the second grade. They took a full six months to watch him carefully and evaluate him properly. I was in total denial about it but him ha being on meds. So far it's the best thing that could happen to him. When he does not take them you can tell the differnce and the teachers call begging me to put him back on it. My son is not like most ADHD children, My son is very very intelligent and surpasses majority of his class mates, he does not qualify for special ed classes because of inteligence level, they said he does not fit under the learnign disorder factor. He is just runnning 100 miles an hour and doing 15 different things at a time. I often get the answer of "i don't know" when asking about behavior or his actions,I credit this tothe fact that he is ten. i'm sorry I'll get to the point. When he was being evaluated and before  we started i was told to have him see a councelor for one month ifyou do not see any kind of change in him then go ahead and get him evaluated, just because you have him evaluated does notmean you haveto medicate him. And when they do the evaluationo they don't tell him the results they tell you so it won't give him a complex.

Answer 2

I agree with Spring. I think he shows the symptoms and manifestations of a typical 10 year old boy. I don't think it's lack of attention on both his end and yours. nor do I think he's forgetful. I think he's being mischievous and testing authority, trying to see what he can get away with.

Answer 3

I'm sorry but when you say "drugging" it makes you sound like every other parent that has their kids on meds to better their future, to better them selves, to make it possible to acheieve activities of daily living! I have ADD I have been on meds since I was in 4th grade I am 21 years old in a marriage with one child and another on the way! I graduated high school. It was tough because I decided to stop meds halfway through high school and Nearly failed every single class I was in. When I went back on my meds I Gratuated I Got married I became a Certified Nursing Assistant and I gave birth to the most amazing baby ever and now I am pregnant with my second. And I truely believe that I can not function without meds. I was at wits end, I could not remember a d**n thing! I have to write everything down because if I don't I will probably get to the 2nd or third thing before I forget what I have to do. So before you say "drugging" The best thing that ever happened to me was being evaluated and being able to succeed in everything I do. I am a Mother, A daughter, A sister, a Girl Scout Leader, A CNA, a Student, and a friend. I have taken meds and the only time I ever stopped the meds was through my first pregnancy and now through my second. So you know what my opinion is and I think that if you want to see your child succeed you should have him evaluated!

EDIT:: There are many things that can cause ADD type symptoms! And the best thing you can do is talk to a doctor. They will tell you wether or not they have ADD. It is not something that someone comes and looks at ur kid and says "yupp ADD" No. They do tests. I don't mean blood. Like a school test. When I was evaluated I was put in a room with a desk and they gave me a list of things to do and a test similar to school. Things have changed the last 11 years and tests are more advanced. Doctors are not going to medicate your kid for the h**l of it!

Answer 4

write everything down..my son has add and adhd and I refuse to medicate..what i do is write everything on a chart and have him check everything off

Answer 5

tip 1: realize your child is 10!

tip 2: People, let alone 10 year olds will do things wrong

Tip 3: You cannot control/examine everything you kid will do/ever do.

Tip 4: WTF is up with evaluating your kid? Sounds exactly like a normal 10 year old boy. WTF WTF when did we start evaluating human beings? Maybe you need to be evaluated. Look after you kid but you cannot make them into perfect little beings. Were you? And he will make your mistakes and will show you how truely a good parent you are. (please please i beg you dont med your kid. Also grounding doesn't work. Its just unrealistic when it comes to more than a day. I've been grounded from anywhere 1 week to 6 months... straight. After a day I got the point, but I just dont think my parents did.)

Answer 6

im confused about the naked part in the library... WHAT??

as for the ice cream behind his back and saying it was a sucker is not him lying, its him doing what he thinks he should do in case he is going to get in trouble..

he's 10 .  his brain is still growing and will grow until he is about 18..

If he is getting good grades and can finish his chores then there is NOTHING wrong with his brain...  

He is just being 10

Answer 7

He's 10 and a boy, what do you expect? It's a kid thing; lighten up.

What is so wrong word "naked"? It's not as if he typed anything obscene for pity's sake.

All i can suggest is take a good look at his diet; cut out refined sugars, artificial colours (esp the yellow/ orange ones) and sweeteners (aspartame is the worst). Make sure he's getting enough sleep and is drinking enough water during the day. Perhaps also he needs a bit of down-time from all the highly structured chores, activities etc. Time for some fun. If he hides the icecream behind his back, gently shove him backwards so he sits on it, and then carry on with what you were doing.

Never mind the books and the degree courses; time for a bit of common sense. He's one of 6; when was the last time you had an actual conversation with him? Try talking to him on his own, just drift into conversation over the washing up or peeling the spuds or something. You might find it illuminating (and possibly surreal)

Answer 8

I think your son is a tipical 10year old boy