My 10 year old son was invited to a coed sleepover/birthday party for one of his female classmates.?

Question

My wife and I were initially concerned being that it was a coed sleepover for a group of 4th graders.However, the girls parents are very reputable people(members of the PTA),and the party will be chaperoned at all times.My wife spoke to the girl's mother and the kids will be watching movies all night and having pizza. She assured us that we have nothing to be worried about. However, I would like to hear other people's opinion about this coed sleepover party for 4th grader's. Is this party appropriate 4th grader's? Thank you.

Answer 1

Our family would not consider that appropriate.  BTW, membership in the PTA, does no confer a good reputation on parents.  If you and your wife are uncomfortable with the idea, just tell the other parents you don't allow your son to attend co-ed sleepovers.  Do what you think is right.  Don't bow to the "everyone is doing it" pressure.  It will just get worse as your son grows.  Be well.

Answer 2

Its fine since it is chaperoned the whole time and your son is only in 4th grade.  If this was middle school i would be a little more worried.  It also depends on how much you trust your son.  But if you feel uncomfortable, have you son stay a while at the party, and then pick him up later that night.

Answer 3

Well, when we are kids......everything is fun!!!!! I would just check that boys are in one bedroom and girls in a separate one!!!   It is the right thing to do......but I would imagine it will be like going camping!!!  and in the morning, seeing all your friends!! is so much fun!!!!!!!!!

Let's not put the black/nasty  thought on this one and worry about it.....(you should also trust the way you are educating your son)....if you make sure HOW her  parents are organizing this and you agree, you make the decision......

AND whatever the decision is, explain it to your son.....the kids always need to be explained why we do and why we don't give permissions........don't just say "No, you are not going".....and if he does go, talk about how he needs to be cool, educated and show your manners. (VERY IMPORTANT to send him with this message)

Answer 4

My brother had a sleepover pary when he was in about 4th grade, he invited both boys and girls. They had a lot of fun, and it was really no big deal to them that it was coed. I think there isn't anything to worry about, it's just like a get-together except overnight.

Answer 5

No, this party is not appropriate for 4th graders.  I think what another person said about letting him go and then picking him up before bed is a good idea.  That way he is still included and doesnt feel left out.

Kids are doing things at 10 years old.  I dont care what these other people on here have said.  Kids this age may not have the hormones but they already have the IDEAS of s*x, making out, and having crushes.  

Just the ideas alone of s*x will make them imitate it.  

As far as the parents supervising goes...there is no way that they can  keep an eye on all these kids at every moment that the kids are there.  They are going to end up getting stressed out and irritated before the night is over and think "they are fine for a few minutes so that I can take a break".

The fact that you are questioning whether or not it is appropriate, should tell you something itself.  Go with your intial reaction and do not let him stay the night.

Answer 6

he should be fine, the only mates i had for a period of my life were guys, and i slept round all the time, but check if hes the only guy, he might feel a bit left out

Answer 7

Personally I find it rather odd and absolutely inappropriate to have a co-ed sleepover at that age (or any age really).

Answer 8

Yes i think its fine as long as the adults are in the room, if you don't have a reason not to trust him let him go  I would tell him what your worries are and put the fear in him if you hear of anything happening that you will not allow this kind of stay over happen again if he is really having a good time he will remember your words and not s***w up.

Answer 9

When i was in forth grade i was friends with all the guys and like 2 girls in my class because i was a tomboy(and still am) but my parents would have let me. but if the parents are members of the PTA there should be no issues and if you are worried then talk to the mother or father and ask them to have him call you at a certain time. Thats what i did with my parents and they were fine bacause it showed my responsibility and tell your son that he should call you at that time to so there will be no confusion.. Hope it helps

Answer 10

he is 10 its not like all the hormones are all kicked in. i say dont worry about it

Answer 11

I personally find that a bit weird and unheard of. However, ask the parents if the children will be seperated while they sleep, such as boys in one room and girls in another. If so then I dont really see a problem with it.

Answer 12

Wow.. that a good one. But i think I would trust my own son!! Expecially since the parents will be there at all times.

I know I have a coed sleep over before, and My Husband sleeps on the couch.... They are never left alone.

Answer 13

if the party will be chaperoned at all times by someone you trust i cant see there being a problem, have a quick chat with the parents when u drop him off to rase any slight concerns you may have.

it sounds like it will be fun and i dont think your lad would want to miss out

Answer 14

I would say that it is inappropriate.  Maybe if the boys and girls were sleeping in seperate rooms....

I knew teenage parents that allowed their kids to have/go to all night movie nights all through high school, and let me tell you that more than movies went on at those.   I realize that your son is 10 yrs old, but once you start allowing coed sleepovers, will you be able to tell him no in a couple years?

Maybe you could allow your son to go, but pick him up at midnight.   If you are friends w/ any of the parents of other boys invited, ask them how they feel about the situation.  You may not be the only one w/ concerns.

Answer 15

Well I'd personally just let him go, ask for the parents numbers so you can keep phoning and checking up on him, Children hate the word No you cant go, so he might be in a little mardy for the rest of the night. Just ask him if he would like to go, if you really dont want him to sleep over then just let him go to the party and pick him up afterwards.

Answer 16

I think if you allow something like this at this  young age, you are just setting a precedent for the future.  If he gets invited again in a few years to a coed sleep over, how are you going to feel about it then?  I think it's a big mistake!  You can let him go for a while, but pick him up instead of letting him spend the night.  Nothing good can happen after 11:00 or so anyway!

Answer 17

10 yo boy yes 10 yo girl no

Answer 18

Personally, I think that is a too old to be having a coed sleepover.  It would make more sense for the boys to invited for daytime activities, and the girls to have the sleepover.  At that age, I would not even think about giving my child that type of party.  However, if the parents promise to keep a strict eye on them, I suppose you can trust their judgment.

Answer 19

I have never heard of this either. It wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. I would be interested to know what the ratio of boys to girls would be. I would also want speak with the parents, and to know the sleeping arrangements. If that's all good,  I would make sure his pajamas are loose enough to not be revealing(at all) and are appropriate and let him be a kid while he still can.

Answer 20

I remember when i was in 4Th grade. In my opinion you shouldn't let your 10 year old son sleep over you can let him go to the birthday party but pick him up maybe around 10sh. Alot of things can happen even if the parents are paying attention...believe me kids can be sneaky.

Answer 21

you should let him go only if it will be chaperoned.

Answer 22

come on! i understand that parents are alway worried about their child, but they are 10 y.o, what in the world do you fear them to do, in plus whit other people around??

I'd say there is nothing to worry about.

Answer 23

I can't believe what some people think is "appropriate " these days... I am a Mom whose kids are almost all grown ( the youngest is 15) and I would have NEVER let my children attend a sleep over with members of the opposite s*x in attendance!! I worked as an educator for years and I don't care if they are involved with the PTA, this is just too lenient with kids that age.

Answer 24

i don't think it's age-appropriate.  i wouldn't be comfortable with my son going to a coed sleepover.  if there is a party before the sleeping part, maybe take your son to that, and pick him up before the nighttime festivities begin.

Answer 25

as long as they don't no wat is s*x :p

Answer 26

I think I would be fine with it.  9 and 10 year olds are not going to do anything sexual anyway.

Answer 27

they are just fourth graders, so i highly doubt anything bad could happen, plus it sound like they will be well supervised.

Answer 28

My parents always gave me a hard time about going to a boys party. But as long as you know the parents are going to be there and they are a good family its OK. Although a sleepover would be kinda weird. If you have a problem with the sleepover part (which i don't really blame you for...) you can pick him up at around 9:00 or 10:00pm. And remember, they're only in fourth grade.

Answer 29

They won't do anything sexual at 10, but it might make your son think that coed sleepovers are okay when he is in high school and you actually have something to worry about then.

Answer 30

When i was younger my church would take us on these retreats that we slept over at with boys and girls. at that time i was in 8th grade they just seperated us and put dwn the rules. i think you should tell the parents that you are a little uncomfortable and then ask them if they will seperate the boys and the girls if not then explain to your son that you will pick him up before the sleepover part nd without revealing to much explain why.

Answer 31

ya it is fine, there will be parents watching them,and they are in just 4th grade,nothing bad is going to happen