My 10-year-old still has temper tantrums that last an hour. What can I do?

Question

My son is a great kid. He gets straight A's in school. He USED to be polite and nice at home. But he has always had these horrible temper tantrums that last an hour. During that time he acts possessed. He screams horrible things at me. He kicks the wall. I put him in time out, but it goes on and on in his room.

Recently he has added a p*****n attitude into the mix. He lies to me thinking it's funny. He acts passive aggressive. He refuses to do chores. He calls me names and says he "forgot" that's a bad word or rude or whatever. He can go on all day repeating the same stupid joke over and over again that not even the other kids think is funny.

To be honest, I looked up Oppositional Defiant Disorder and he fits it to a T, except he only does all this at home. At school he gets strait A's and all +'s for behavior.

I've tried docking his allowance. I've tried video restriction. I've tried spanking. I don't yell much because I don't believe in that. I don't know what else to do

Answer 1

BEAT HIS A$$

Answer 2

I completely know where you are coming from honey. I have a 10 yo brother who acts, to a T, just like your son. He was, like you said, completely possessed when he was at home, but once he got to school he was an angel. My mom even took him to a doctor at one point to see if they could diagnose something, and they just said he had an anger problem that needed managed.

Well, things continued and eventually got to the point where he was beginning to actually become physically abusive towards not only my mom, but myself and my other siblings and my mom just couldn't take it anymore, so as much as it hurt her -- she actually called the police.

They came to the house, basically to "scare" him and let him know what they can actually do if he continues to behave like this and let me tell you --- he has been an angel ever since. He still has an anger problem, but he has controlled it enormously!

I am not sure if this is something you are willing to do, but it's an idea. A lot of people are going to get on here and tell you to discipline him, but I know that that isn't going to get you anywhere either.

Best of luck...

Answer 3

Give him a good spanking.

Answer 4

spank him and let him know who's boss! when he has his tantrum ignore him and see what he does. and spank him again!

Answer 5

My cousin used to have these tantrums so my Aunt got down on the floor and and helped him.  She told him he was not thrashing hard enough and screaming loud enough.  She did it with him to show him what he looked like.  He quite when he stopped getting the attention he wanted from these acts.

Answer 6

I agree with Rita....(and then spank him AGAIN!)

Answer 7

obviously the teachers are doing a better job disciplining your kid then you are....

Maybe you should consult them....

Answer 8

The reason he does it is for attention. MAybe you don't pay enough attention to him and whether its good or bad attention any kind of it is good for him. Talk to him, tell him "if you act like that mommy will not pay attention to you at all" If he stops throwing a tantrum stop what you are doing and praise him in a positive way......also if you want you can tell him "if you act that way no one will like you or pay attention to you, you need to talk to people"  keyword:ATTENTION. you can also say if you stop doing that and listen we can do thiis and that later (ex:play with something, or color).

Answer 9

Sounds to me as if he was never disciplined as a child when he threw a tantrum.  Taking things away from him and hitting him aren't going to do anything other than teach him to hit and you need to ask yourself if you want a teen who will hit YOU in the house...This is what YOU are teaching him.  He lacks structure, discipline and rules.  You have to set down rules of the house, set privliges, television, video games, computer time and allow him to have them ONLY when he behaves.  Make him EARN the things he wants with behavior rather than just handing them to him when he wants.  So he refuses to do chores...so does pretty much every other kid on the planet.  He's pubecing and has no discipline...so naturally he's going to behave in the manner that has always gotten his way before.

Answer 10

well there are many ways of dealing with this issue. the first thing personally i would do is give him a warning of what will come if he continues. He continues? take something he likes greatly away. still gives your trouble spank him or ground him. show him that what he is doing is not allowed. stick up for yourself and dont let him push u around

Answer 11

Try family counseling.

Answer 12

first of all..i sort of sounds like you're afraid of him..its time to take back control. if he acts up during time out, then extend his time until he sits peacefully..and i'd change the timeout in the room to a corner where you can see him..

if he doesn't do the chores, then he doesn't get to do what the rest of you guys are doing until he finishes..praise him when he does it, but dont make it sound condescending..

i'd also look at supernany video's...she's really really good at showing how to correct your behavior and your kids behavior..

good luck with everything..

Answer 13

When was the last time he had a complete physical?  Make an appointment with his doctor ASAP and be sure to talk about these temper tantrums.  It may be a medical or psychological issue.

Best wishes.

Answer 14

He behaves at school because he knows if he doesn't there he will be punished. I would put him in sports. Let him release some of that anger on people who can take it. That way by the time he gets home he is tired and relaxed.

Answer 15

Your child is a spoiled brat. Take him to a therapist.

Answer 16

When he throws a tantrum, ignore him.  Ground him, take away his video games and what ever else he holds dear and let him know that he will not get them back until his attitude improves.  Then stand your ground.  If he calls you a name, ignore him.  If he acts like a child, ignore him.  If you give in, he will know he can continue to get away with it!  Most of all, when he is well behaved, praise him!