My 10 years old daughter has a question about how to handle kids reaction to her burns?

Question

She is standing right here by me. She has 3rd degree burns on both her hands and arms from a house fire on 12/26/06. She jumped out of a window into fire and thankfully survived! When kids at school tease her about the burns, she tries to explain to them what happened. She tells them that she "didn't want to jump out the window", but had to. She now wants to know what does she do after she has explained all this to them and they KEEP ON TEASING HER?? She will read the responses; so any helpful answers are greatly appreciated. thanks.

Answer 1

I want to let her know that I think she is very brave! Kids her age will tease her because they really don't know how to react. She is very mature for explaining it to them. That's about all she can do...

Answer 2

Ok first off your daughter is not only lucky to be live but she's also intelligent and brave. These kids that are picking on her have no clue what she had to deal with and the choice(s) she had to make. Your daughter needs to walk up to them look them right in the face and say "You think this is funny? I had to choose between going through the fire and out the window to live or stay in the fire and burn to death, I chose life . I would like to see what you would have done in this postion?" I guarantee you that will stop them cold either they will shut up about it and leave your daughter alone, or they will actually have to think about the question being asked to them and will give a serious reply. If these kids keep teasing your daughter infrom the teacher and principal of what's going on. I have a suggestion for your daughter if she's brave enough to do this, if she's not thats understandable. Arrange an assembly with the whole class and do a presentation on fire safety, what to do when your in a fire, the effects people suffer because of fire etc and what it was like for her trapped in that fire and escaping. I can pretty much guarantee you, this will help a lot of other people out and it will stop the teasing.

Answer 3

Your daughter is extremely brave and she should know this! There is no way i would do that, i would be way to scared and panicking. Those other kids just have no idea! What your daughter is doing is very mature, explaining to them what happened.

When bulling occurs you should tell somebody (which she told you) You should look the bullies straight in the eyes (if ur to scared to this then look at the tip of their nose, it works and u cant even tell!) and tell them to stop. Talk to ur friends about it and let them know what happened. They can tell the kids to go away if your daughter is scared (but she sounds very brave to me!)

Goodluck!

Answer 4

First your daughter is a brave young lady to go through so much and survive it all.  My daughter is also 10 and her issue isnt burns it is half of her ear is missing.  When she was 8 she was outside with her brother and they were eating cotton candy and feeding it to one of the horses, the horse went to nibble she turned and it got her ear.  We have went through 4 surgeries already with skin graftsand trying to get enough tissue there so they can do a cartlidge graft in a few years.  It would be simple if she liked her hair long and down but she doesnt she wants it in a pony tail at all times so of course kids make fun of her.  The sad fact is that children are cruel and until it affects them or someone they love they do not see how serious something is.  We solved the issue for the most part with my daughter by talking to the teacher and having a safety day at school.  My daughter got up in front of the class and told her story as well as how she should have done this or that different and what the others should do if they were in that situation, then all of the kids got to ask questions which she answered.  Maybe you could talk to your childs teacher and see if you could arrange this with a lesson on fire safety and have the kids get involved by telling how their family would get out if a fire broke out in their home.  Get a firefighter from your area to come in as well and have them explain how brave and smart your daughter was for knowing what to do.  Never know it might actually save one of them from going through the same thing someday.  My daughter still gets the occassional smart remark but it is a lot less often now.  Good luck to you both and be thankful you have such a smart kid.

Answer 5

my dd has severe eczema on her face, arms, legs,hands etc... they are so bad that even thought she has medical treatment, she goes to school wrapped in bandages and is teased.  Her face looks like a snake shedding big layers of skin 24-7 and will itch to the point of bleeding.  When a little boy was teasing her about it she said

I have eczema, you cannot get it, now leave me alone.  He did and as a matter of fact they were playing together at recess yesterday.  I personally feel she could just  say, I got burned in a fire, now leave me alone and walk away.  I hope she has some kind friends who don't care about stuff like that .  It is so hard for children who are "different" and maybe parents should step up and teach thier children about differences and tolerance and understanding.   Best of luck to her.  Eventually there will be something else for them to pick on and they will forget about it.

Answer 6

First of all what a brave child you have. As far as the kids at school I would talk to the school. They should be teaching tolerance and respecting differences. How dare the school allow this to continue! To bad you cant go to the root of the problem-the parents.

Answer 7

Wow, you have a very brave daughter! To tell you the truth, all kids are different and the way you get them to stop varies. But, even though it sounds ridiculous, she needs to ignore them. Most of the time they WILL get bored, but if that doesn't work she could try to come back with a remark that will make them stay away, something sarcastic but not exactly mean. I really hope things get better for her, I also have a rather large burn scar on the back of my leg that i have survived countless insults about.

Answer 8

children can be so mean, i was bullied at school, so i can understand what she is going through, tell her to talk to the teacher about it and try to come up with a solution together

Answer 9

Kids who tease others about those kinds of things are just rotten and wanting a way to take control over their own lives. I would recommend either ignoring them or not showing them any feelings towards their remarks. Any type of interest in the negative behavior will just cause them to keep teasing.

Answer 10

Those children who make fun of her aren't worth her time to pay attention to them. Does she have friends at school? Her friends are what matter. She should just focus on schoolwork and spending time with her real friends. If the teasing kids keep bothering her, she can go to the teacher, or someone else who works at the school, and ask them to tell the kids to knock it off. She doesn't deserve to be stressing over what these stupid kids have to say.

Answer 11

Some people are just mean and cruel hearted. Others do it just because they don't understand thing that are different. No matter how much you explain it to them. Eventualy all the kids and people who tease her will eventually get theirs. What goes around comes around. Besides your daughter is the same beautiful smart child she always was. Nothing will ever change that. And besides what does not kill us only makes us stronger. We may not see it but others do. And God never gives us more than we can handle. Tell her to go for her dreams and reach for the stars. She is still beautiful and can do what ever her heart desires no matter what her arms look like or what people say about it

Answer 12

If your daughter is able, I'd suggest she look the other child square in the eyes and say, "It was this or die."

And then walk away.

It's a little freaky, but it's true.  And I think there's something to be said - especially among tweens - for shock value.

Unfortunately, there's nothing to be said for logic at 11.  So I wouldn't waste my breath on the explanation.

I worked with a woman who had a similar experience in her teens - only her burns covered her face.  She is an amazing woman, and interestingly, the burns do not detract from her beauty.  On the contrary, she's developed such incredible poise and dignity that it took me weeks to realize that she had burn scars.  They're quite visible - but her confidence makes them almost impossible to see.

Your daughter was very brave on that night - and she's lived through something that few of us can imagine.  It's not what we would ever wish for our child, but nonetheless, it's a source of strength.

It's hard to imagine it now, but over time, I suspect those hands will be a badge of honor.

For now, I'd go for direct and no nonsense.  And remember that, at 11, everyone gets teased for something.  It's a shame hers is something she has so little control over.

Answer 13

Maybe they are still teasing because of habit - that's what they've done.  However, maybe they are teasing because it frightens them.  These scars are her badges of courage.  She may want to counter their teasing by asking them why they are doing this and if the thought of jumping into fire scares them.  It may help these kids be a little introspective.  If she has a friend who can be an ally - that may help as well.  Good Luck!