My 10 yo son was "verbally" invited by our neighbor to his bday party...so he?

Question

was very excited for a week - come to find out the neighbor was only allowed to invite 5 friends (without realizing he already had) his mom said he didn't want to hurt my friends feelings everytime the party was brought up...understandable...but i called her to find out what happened and told her her son should apologize..was i wrong?

Answer 1

No you weren't wrong and I can't figure out WHY people are so quick to excuse both parents and kids from knowing proper manners....it is bad manners to 'uninvite' someone from a birthday party.  I'm sorry, but it just is, and everyone else can jump in a lake.  I posted a question not too long ago that was somewhat similar, and lots of people on this forum jumped my case, but you know what, if we don't teach our own kids how to treat their friends, and just brush it off as "oh, kids will be kids" then no one is ever going to learn how to treat the people they supposedly care about.

Why, as a society, are our expectations so low?

sorry for the rant! ha ha......but yes, I agree with what you did....

Answer 2

8i dont think u were wrong cause tht lil boy nvited ur son to  birth day party and then all of a sudden tht mom hurt ur son cause he was so ecited to go so tht women need to apoligize

Answer 3

I have always told my kids unless you get a paper invitation or I get a phone call from the parents do not consider yourself invited, because of situations just like this. I am sure the boy did not mean to hurt your sons feelings. An apology would be nice, but I would not have called the mom and told her that. Your son is 10 not 5, he is old enough to understand that while it stinks these things happen. And he is too old for you to be calling the other parent over hurt feelings. Save that move for bigger issues.

Answer 4

That mom should have allowed your son to attend because he was, after all, invited. It was tacky and rude to retract the invitation, whether to an adult or a child. She won't understand apologies. Unfortunately, this is a  lesson learned for you and your son that some people just don't know better. Best to move on and realize that c**p like this happens. Sorry.

Answer 5

She may take that the wrong way coming from you.  But, you're right, he should apologize.  And when I was 10, I knew how to count. lol

Answer 6

I can see it both ways.  Your little boy had his feelings hurt and it would be nice if the neighbor kid apologized for the misunderstanding.  It probably would have been more tactful for his mother to just allow your son to attend the party.  One more child wouldn't have made all that big of a difference.  Take your little boy out for that day, especially if the neighbor is having the party at his house.  If the neighbor boy apologizes, that's great.  But if not, no one can really make him and it's a lesson learned.

Answer 7

no i dont think the neighbors kid did anything wrong i think that the mother should have allowed your son to come over since he was invited and you live right next door if there were any problems she could just call you and you could be right there to handle it but the kid is 10 years old he probably didnt realize that he was doing anything wrong when he invited your son over.

Answer 8

It's not your place to tell a mother that their child should apologize.

Answer 9

it's rubbish that your son was disappointed, if i were the neighbor's mother i would have let him come/made my son apologize.  i can understand where you're coming from but asking for an apology maybe would just have caused more problems - if the mothers have a problem with one another, its difficult for your boys to be friends

Answer 10

i don't think you were wrong. that kid was probably just excited about his birthday and i bet he didn't mean to upset your son. his  mom should teach him responsibility by making him apologize, but i guess that's her decision?

sorry for your son : (

Answer 11

Yes, you were wrong.  It's done now, though.

Answer 12

yes you were wrong, it was a lil demanding I think on your part.  The explanation of the childs mother should have been enough.  It seems almost like you want to teach the other child a lesson

Answer 13

at the point that your son got the verbal.. and made you aware of it... You should have contacted the parent... to see if the invite was LEGIT.

Kids do that!

I (myself) invited a bunch of kids to my party... I had no idea what I was doing - I was EIGHT!

I was talking with one of my buds and I mention that my birthday was NEXT SATURDAY... and he said CAN I come?  And I said YES.

I had no clue that it meant my parents had to have CAKE and GOODY BAGS and Plastic-ware...

Kids will be kids...

I think YOU'RE wrong on this one... If YOU (the brains of the outfit) were proactive... this could have been avoided.

I also think that the MOM could have extended the limit by 1,

and just used the chair from the garage, even if it didn't MATCH, and simply had the BIRTHDAY boy use standard plates.

Answer 14

I probably wouldn't have asked for an apology.   You know, its life.  Kids are very excited about their birthdays and will talk about it.  And kids need to learn they won't always be invited to everything.  I realize it does suck for your child, and he's hurt, but I would've just explained to him exactly what the mother explained to you - that he could only invite 5 friends and he didn't want to hurt your son's feelings.  The neighbor didn't mean any malice, he's only 10.....

Answer 15

well he is 10. he was excited about his birthday.  Kids do this kind of stuff.  Its not like he was trying to jerk your kid around, he genuinly wanted him there, but his parents set rules.  It sucks but its going to be hard enough for the kid when his friends are mad at him. Kids will make up, I say parents should dtay out of things as trivial as this, and let the little guys work it out.