My 10yr old son is having trouble with making and keeping friends.?

Question

My 10year old son started at a new school this year and was fine when he first started. He made friends and was having a great time, he was even having fun learning in class as well. However, he came to me this afternoon and said that he is getting bullied at school and he sits by himself at lunch which really broke my heart. He is such a lovely boy and comes across very confident and i can't understand why he struggles to make friends. My son was diagnosed with a transient tic disorder last year which makes him make noises in the back of his throat and nod his head when he gets anxious etc and now that he is getting bullied it is a constant occurence. And to top it off the teacher has said that he is not trying in class and has fallen behind in his work. I want to go and speak to the teacher and find out what is happening but am still not sure of how i need to address the situation without making any of it worse for him. any help would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

I would talk to the teacher, tell her your concerns - I would think she'd want to intervene, most schools take bullying very seriously. When a child has a hard time fitting in socially it's hard to keep your grades up. If your son doesn't see a therapist for his anxiety I would get him to one - that could help too.

Answer 2

I think one important thing is to teach him self-confidence and to love and acept himself the way he is.

If I was you I would try out EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) with him. It is a really great tool and especially children can use it in a very natural way (you could teach it to him saying it is a secret that will help him all his life to overcome difficult situations or emotional and physical illnesses.)

I wouldn't be surprised if his tic would disapear eighter!

Good luck!

Answer 3

Aw poor thing kids now a days can be so cruel..

being a mom of a boy who stutters a lot and he too was having a hard time making friends because he was scared of what others think of him....

I talk to the teacher and me and her came up with plan that allowed my son and I to talk to the class about what stuttering is and how it effects you as a person. We told them stories etc and basally allowed them to ask questions.....

My son actually felt great after this because a lot of the kids that would not talk to him started conversation with him...

Sometimes kids don't know what the problem is and instead of showing sypathony they pick on someone who is different... What you need to do is make the kids realize that he is not and is just like them...

good luck

Answer 4

Definitely talk to the teacher, and if there is bullying going on, maybe to the principal or assistant principal, too.  I'm sure the tic, noises and head bobbing are making it worse - have the doctors suggested anything to deal with it?

Sometimes friends can develop at other places than school - church, soccer, boy scouts, theater, etc.  Encouraging him to be involved in those sorts of things would be good.  

Unfortunately, you can't make friends for him.  Be with him, give him a bedrock of love that he can count on at home.  

Best wishes!

Answer 5

I would talk to the teacher of course if you can see a therapist try it! it would be better try to think it better you'll solve this problem soon...

Answer 6

Is there a parent of one of the children in your sons class who you could speak to?  Someone who is a bit "sensible".  If so ask them to cautiously ask their child if they know of any reason why your son is being bullied?  They shouldn't grill the child for hours but a simple question like "whats the boy John like in your class".  This should give you a good insight into your sons school life.  The other side of this is a lot of schools have anti bullying  policies, speak to the headmaster about that too.