My 11 year-old daughter's friend suffers from incontinence. What causes it and how can I help?

Question

It came as quite a shock this morning to discover she had wet the bed. She was almost too embarassed to tell me. Apparently, her mom has taken her to a doctor, but he claims there is nothing wrong. Would it help if I tell her mom to get a second opinion? I don't wish to hurt her feelings or feel I have betrayed her confidence. I did discreetly launder the sheets while not saying anything, and did not mention it until she did, in private.

Answer 1

Incontinence can be caused by a wide number of reasons the only right thing to do in this case is taking the girl to the Urologist and he will tell you what the problem is.

Answer 2

She should try another doctor. 11 is a tough age. Changes and such. You know how that goes!

Answer 3

You did about the best you can do, under the circumstances.  I think she probably needs another medical opinion -- there are medicines that can be given to help kids in her situation.

She may just have a really small bladder,though.  If she stays over again, you might want to limit their drinks after 8 or 9 pm, and then discreetly ask her if she wants you to wake her up about 12 or 1 AM to use the bathroom.

Answer 4

What is the cause?,   Well it could be a number of not so serious medical things. Since the mother has started to eliminate the medical reason. . . and if nothing was obvious or present, next would be to eliminate emotional.

Some children wet the bed because they are under stress. Yep, even kids have stress. Stress stemming from fear, aggression (over bearing father - mother - older sibling) these children really suffer on so many levels. And sometimes the 'parents' are not aware of it at all.

Answer 5

Good for you, 11 is a tough age to be wetting the bed. And I think you should TOTALLY tell the mom. This might become a bigger problem later on... and as for her feelings, tell her it's not her falt and that it is ver normal. =)))

Answer 6

Get underjams. They look just like regular underwear but absorb like a diaper. No one notices, and they look and feel like reagular underwear. Alot of young kids still wet the bed, my best friend wet the bed when she was 13 and she said it was horrible staying the night places. She had to wear underjams. She is now 16 and over her problem, they helped.