My 11 year old daughter doesn't want to go to camp, HELP ME! 10 POINTS!?

Question

Hello. I signed my 11 year old daughter up for a sleep-away camp with her friend. It's her 2nd time to go to this camp but she really doesn't want to go. She has to leave on Sunday and she is in her room crying. I don't know if I should make her go or not, but the thing is, if I let her stay home, her friend will be upset because my daughter isn't going with her, what will I do? And if I do send her to camp, what will make her experience better?

Answer 1

i think you should let her stay home. there's probably a good reason she doesn't want to go, but she doesn't want to tell you. i mean even if she just plainly doesn't want to go, you still shouldn't force her to go. what is that going to do for her?

and i agree with whoever said that you shouldn't just be focusing on making her friend happy.

Answer 2

Your daughter needs to go to camp. She will be ok. At least make your attempt it. Try to talk to her and find out why she feels that way. Try to addresss her fears and concerns.

It is in her best interest to go and she will be fine. You paid a lot of money for her to go. It's too late to back out now. What are you teaching her if you allow her to stay home? What are the consequences that you are going to have to deal with later?   Maybe offer to stay with her a little longer if it's ok with camp personnel. Maybe say something to her camp counselor. Let the camp staff know and they will accommodate your daughter. She won't be the only one upset. Her friend will be there for her. You are doing her no favors if you allow her to stay home. She needs to learn coping skills. This is the perfect time. She will be ok. She has a strong support network. Maybe later in life she won't and then where will she be. Let her learn some coping skills on her own. Give her that chance.

edit: I can attest to what the camp director is saying. I was a camp counselor at a day camp. We encouraged parents to let us take the kids that were crying that we would give them extra time and attention which we did. I used to carry crying kids around and play with them. I hugged them. I told them everything was going to be ok and they would have a really good time. A few minutes after the parents left they would be crying less and be ok. It's normal for some kids to have some kind of fear. But at least let her try going. Stay in touch. Call the camp and see how she is doing. Have them call you if she's inconsolable. You aren't doing her any favors if you just let her stay home. She's missing out. She's not learning responsibility and honoring her commitments. She has to try. It's good for her. She'll be fine. It's a safe environment.

Answer 3

if you already paied for it then she has to go if not then find out why she doesn't want to go

maybe she doesn't like this "freind"

or maybe last time she had a really bad experience she never told you about

talk to her and find out

Answer 4

Well, in my opinion... i think you should try and convince youre child to go to the camp. You should talk to her and ask her why she doesnt want to go, and if they are not valid reasons, then you should tell her your reasons why she should go.

you have to communicate with her to find out the problem and then find a solution.

Answer 5

its ok tell her its ok if u dont wanna go its ok . but tell her how much fun she will miss and u will be happy that u went there let her make her choice after u tell her how much fun it will be and how much fun she will miss

Answer 6

she will have fun my sister was like that she didn't want to go but she love it. Next time make sure you ask her if this what she wants to do"

dont force her to do anything she dosent want to do. But i think it be better if you just let her go.

Answer 7

Well, in my opinion... i think you should try and convince youre child to go to the camp. You should talk to her and ask her why she doesnt want to go, and if they are not valid reasons, then you should tell her your reasons why she should go.

you have to communicate with her to find out the problem and then find a solution

hi

Answer 8

in my opinion you job is to protect your child not make her friend happy.  There is obviously a reason why she does not want to go whether something happened last year or she just doesn't want to leave home.  Don't make her go.  Nothing will make her experience better if you force her to go.

Answer 9

this is going to sound crucial, but just make her go, no exceptions

you and her may never no, she might enjoy it

and hey if she doesn't...then she doesn't need to go next year

plus she needs to learn about not disappointing friends and pleasing people

she may not want to go because she has no idea wats coming up, she may be shy as well.

so let the two of you learn a lesson by making her go, you are afterall the parent, not the pleaser

this way you are also not wasting any money, ya no?

Answer 10

My son went to camp last year, for the first time, at age eight and was very upset about going away for so long, I just continued to encourage him and reluctantly he went.  Then when I came to get him he was begging to stay one more week!  

He is at camp again, right now, and was again upset at the thought of going away - this time for 2 weeks since he wanted to stay so badly last year.  I know he is having a blast right now, staying up late with no parents or chores and making new friends.

The last couple weeks before he left for camp, I always brought up how much fun it was going to be.  When we argued over cleaning his room, I reminded him that h**l love camp because he wont have to worry about cleaning his room.  When it was bedtime, I reminded him how nice its going to be to stay up late at camp.  When we went to the beach and he made some new friends I reminded him how easily he made friends and how many new friends he would meet at camp...you get the point.  But I think that helped because when it came to the day to leave for camp he was psyched!  =)  

Your daughter will be fine when you leave.  Sometimes children, especially adolescents, act out emotionally because they dont know how to express to you what they really mean.  Like, she may not want to go because she likes a boy at home and wants to hangout with him but is embarrassed to explain that to you.

I say, you should make her go.  Her friend will be there to comfort her, and talk to her and if it does get to be too hard for her camps usually have a policy that allows children to contact you if they need to.

Answer 11

Not sure what kind of camp or how many others are there--I went at her age with a couple other girls and I was not all outgoing but a little more shy and I loved it---we were all crying by the time we had to LEAVE and it went by so fast! --all the cool kids we met from other places were a lot of fun!!  I made  several new friends there and those memories last a lifetime!!  She would love it and would really miss out on not going--hopefully she goes!!  :-)

Answer 12

Hi,

I am a camp director for children going into the 4th and 5th grade.

We have many children come to camp each year with "homesickness". Luckily, all of us at camp know how to help children with this issue. Several kids I have seen come to camp, and on the first day they hate it. They tell their counselor that they don't want to be here, and they want to go home...but by the end of the week they are so excited having made all their new friends and crying because they dont want to leave!

I would encourage her to stick it out. Remind her that she will have her friend along with her.

Here are some tips--

-- Let her pack some pictures of mommy, daddy and brother and sister, and maybe even the family pet. Tell her that any time she misses you, she can just look at those pictures.

--pack her 2 disposable cameras. tell her that you are so excited to hear about everything that she does, and that you want to see it all! Tell her to take a picture of where she sleeps, where she plays...etc. And make sure she takes lots of pictures of her new friends too!

--pack her with cute stationary, maybe even let her go to the store with you to pick it out! Make sure you supply her with stamps too! You could even pre address some of the envelopes, to you, to her brother/sister, and maybe even g-ma and g-pa! Tell her you want her to write to you if she gets a chance!

--When she (or you) are packing her bag, pack something special in there (that she won't find until she gets to camp). Maybe a stuffed animal, or something special from mommy.

--If the camp allows letters to be written to the children, make sure you write her a letter! Make sure you put a letter in the mail the Friday before she leaves, so she will have one when she gets there! Include some fun stickers in the card as well!

-- let her help with the packing process! Help her pick out the shirts she will want to wear, and everything else. Make sure she packs bug spray, sun screen and a flash light too! It will get her excited about camp once she starts packing.

--you might want to have her friend over, for a "pre camp" party! Buy 2 plain pillow cases (in whatever color, but light enough to decorate) Buy some fabric markers, and maybe some fun iron-ons!  Encourage them to write their names on the pillow case in Big fun letters.  Let the girls decorate matching "camp pillow cases" so that they can get geared up for camp!

   -You could then, bake cookies with the girls so they can have some good snacks for the ride to camp.

  -You could maybe even paint their finger nails and toe nails in a "FUN" color- like hot pink, or neon green

Encourage her to go.

You might make a deal with her that if she does not enjoy herself this time, that she does NOT have to go next year.

As a camp director, I have dealt with so many children who come on the first day and are very unhappy. But, I have never ONCE experienced a kid who left at the end of the week still feeling that unhappiness!

Get her excited about camp! :)

ANOTHER thing, that is VERY IMPORTANT! When she comes home from camp- and she is SUPER excited about the time she had...make sure you get all her pictures printed off of her disposable camera, and let her and you sit down and make a "camp scrap book". She can put all the pictures in, and share with you in return all the good things she did at camp! This is a very important step- because when this time comes around NEXT year, and she is HESITANT AGAIN, you will have the scrap book to whip out and remind her of what a fun time she did have!

Best of luck!

Answer 13

Hello.  i think at 1st you should know why she don't want to go to that camp. then talk to her tell her that the camp life is important for a young girls and boys, tell her that she can find new friends there ,new experians ,new group games , new life style , no mother no father , u r free there , i think u should find the answer urself not us,,  u can tell everything come close to her.

so hope that she will go to camping, coz after 1 week i will go too:)

Answer 14

I think that you should make her feel guilty that she is not going and that she was going to leave her friend all alone at camp. Also I think you should ask her why she doesn't want to go. Its probably one of those complaints,

"What if I get homesick?" kind of deals.

Reassure her that she won't and calm her fears.

To make her experience better let her take like a journal and let her record all her camping experiences and she'll remember it forever. Get her a nice cool notebook and some cool gel pens or something. Maybe let her take a camera?

I hope this helps!

Answer 15

I would make her go.  In our family we always finish what we started and if you have already signed her up then so be it.  Some one else is also depending on her to go.

Answer 16

Don't make her go! My parents talked me into camp TWICE when I was 8 and 10.  I felt so homesick that I faked a stomach flu and they called my mom (2 hours away) both times to come collect me.

I was miserable and hated it. I haven't gone camping, even, ever. It is just something I truly hate.

Please don't make her go if she doesn't want to.

Answer 17

Can you find out why she doesn't want to go?  If she's been there before and was perfectly willing to sign up to go again, then something must have come up that changed her mind.  At 11, things like getting their period or someone making a remark about their body or not having the right kind of underwear might be enough to embarrass them into wanting to stay home. Could she have had a fight with a friend or heard some gossip that upset her?  Are they making changes in the camp routine this year?  Does her friend have any idea why she would do this?

Find out her concerns and try to encourage her to work through them and go to camp.  Tell her that if it's really horrible, she can come home.  Once she's there, everything will probably be just fine, and she'll be proud of herself for facing her fears and not giving up.  

On the other hand, if it's obvious that she just can't make herself do it, don't force her.  The decision should be hers.