My 11 year old daughter is being bullied and is having a hard time making friends.?

Question

My 11 yr old daughter is having a hard time making friends. I just had a parent teacher meeting today and she is being made fun of and is being bullied. I didn't have any issues in school and lets face it I'm a guy so I don't get the p*****n girl thing. She is a little odd at times but I'm her dad I think all girls her age are a little odd. She has some great traits about her: She helps other even if she doesn't get credit for it, She's not afraid to be in a group of people, She says what's on her mind, She's outgoing and when someone new moves in she will be the first person to say Hi and invite them to our church, She sticks up for people the are being picked on even if that person picked on her at one time and she believes that everyone deserves a second, Third, forth, etc chance. Is there anyone who can give me any advice to help her.

David

Answer 1

i'm sorry she's going through that.  kids can be mean.  enroll her in karate.  it did wonders for my sons self esteem.  kids pick on other kids..unfortunately we can't stop that.

Answer 2

Aww...I hate to hear that....it sucks to hear your child is being bullied....one thing that I would say to her is that....with kids, the more you let it happen the more it will happen.....you gotta just put your foot down and show them that your not gonna stand for it! Most kids pick on other kids to make themselves feel better about whatever it is that's going on in their own lives, and because they CAN....once you show them that they CAN'T the tables will probably start to turn a little bit! It sounds good as a parent to say...."just ignore them, or walk away or go tell the teacher" but all that is BS to a kid being bullied! I tell my kids that if they stand up to the bullies ONE time, chances of them bulling them again are slim! Good luck!!!

Answer 3

maby its not your daughter its the school she sounds great and this is the kind of shuff that makes me mad..... your daughter is great and she just needs to be around ppl like her i think maby going to a new school would help her

Answer 4

Without knowing anything about her or her situation, it is very hard to offer advice.  What are the reasons that the other kids make fun of her?  That can give some insight as to why they are excluding her.  Kids can be cruel, but from what you say about her, I can't see any reason why she wouldn't have friends.

Answer 5

Dress your daughter to "fit In" or simply teach her how to fight, all she has to do is loose her mind...one time. they'll leave her alone and maybe even start to think she's "cool", it may get her in a little trouble but you dont want it to get too far, kids kill themselves now a days for being picked on too much. and you dont want her to be unhappy and labled in high school as the Class Wierdo... this may be just a phase bacause of the lack of self confidence. or ask what she wants to do about it. your daughter is 11, not 3, you can talk to her... women like to talk. Men never understand.

     and plus, lack of self confidence NO OFFENSE can turn your daughter into a w***e. everyone wants to belong somewhere just find the righ place for her.

Answer 6

I would try to get her into some activities were she can socialize with others that have her same interests. Then, she may have an easier time making and keeping friends.

I hope that helps her

Answer 7

Kids are cruel, especially when they are "tweenagers" ; no longer a juvenile, and not yet a teenager. They are learning to move in circles that are made up by these children, and they simply are trying to find their place. Ity sounds like your daughter is one of those kids that is true to self, in spite of what other may say about her. This is great, because it seems that she isn't compromising who she is, to fit in. Obviously, this can cause bullying, which is hard for children to go through. How is this affecting her? Do you see differences in her behavior? Is she sad? Did you know of the bullying through her or did you just find out at conferences? I think I would encourage my daughter to be who she is, and that it is more important to have true friends that "fair weather ones" which are a part of so many of our lives. Remind her too, the even Jesus was talked about and belittled, and you are proud that she is remaining true to herself, just as He did. Blessings to your daughter and to you....

Answer 8

My middle daughter had a very hard time making friends at that age.  I honestly coached her,  gently pointing out some of her behaviors that I noticed would turn the other children off.  After a few months I saw some of the same friends returning and now she has a good network of friends.

Answer 9

I had this problem when I was her age. That all changed when I was enrolled in kartae. At 11 I took my first class and since then it has boosted my confidence and self esteem. Now I don't have a problem with standing up for myself and it actually helped me turn those bullies into my friends.

Answer 10

Kids can be really mean.

I'm glad that your daughter is kind and compassionate, but sometimes other children will use that as a foothold to upgrade their self image. Perhaps others are just jealous that your daughter is a wonderful girl, and it is almost a rule that other kids will pick on the 'goody- goody' to make themselves feel better.

If the comments are really getting tough to handle, then there is verbal judo. It's not associated with martial arts; it simply teaches how to handle verbal bullying and how to respond to it.

Remind your daughter that she is really special and that the other kids don't really know what there saying.

Answer 11

what school does she go too she should try to make new friends or yeaa

Answer 12

Get her involved in some after school activities. Girl Scouts really helped my daughter.

Answer 13

Despite what may be said, you can't force your daughter to do things she doesn't want to. In fact, interfering may just make her push you away. She may even get upset because she thinks that you think she can't handle it by herself. Try talking to her about what she is feeling, not like a therapist, but casually. She may even have friends you don't know about.

Answer 14

Get her into a group so she can make friends, like Girl Scouts or Camp Fire Girls or Boy & Girls Clubs.  Or softball or soccer. Consider, if you are a single father, getting her a Big Sister to help with more girly stuff.

Sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders.  She's entering the most dreadful time of any girl's school years.  Her schoolmates are VICIOUS at this age.  If they decide her clothes or hair aren't the right look, they will tear her apart.  Here's where a Big Sister could help.  

Have a little talk with her, invite her to talk about school & the other girls & what she's going thru.  She may be able to tell you what the problem is.  I hate saying buy her the right clothes, but if that's all it takes, then at this age, it is pretty crucial.  It will never be as important at any other time in her life as it will be thru the next 5 years.

Answer 15

Put her in martial arts.  Boosts confinence, self respect and self defense.

Answer 16

You should take her out for dinner or lunch and talk to her about how perfect you think she is.And tell her that not everybody is perfect and thier are some out thier that just are mean and how it makes those mean people somehow feel better about themselves but how she should never change herself.My daughter is the same way as yours.and I tell her to just walk away and no matter what don't listen to them.Does she have a cell phone so that she can call you incase anything bad should happen.You should get her one of those pre-paids if you don't already have one,,,those are cheap,and she can call you anytime.Just remember that she might be always thinking of those mean people so just all the time tell her how great she is.Good luck and hang in thier.

Answer 17

well maybe she should make new friends i mean not in skool but outside of skool....she can  join in after skool activies...like maybe she can take a dance class or help tutor kids...this is a very quick way to make friends and she can have fun all at the same time....and if she is still getting picked on then maybe she should hang around diff ppl....