My 11 year old won't behave!?

Question

My 11 year old (almost 12) year old son is out of control!

I'm sure that there are a few factors adding to this, but I don't think that is all. 1. During the school year he spends the weekdays at my sisters house so he can attend a better school. my son is honor roll and all a's and b's ,but the kids he was hanging out with are trouble makers.

2. We live in a super tiny apartment there are 5 of us here in less then 500 sq ft . but because of the market are having a hard time finding a new place.

I know that some of this is a cause of frustration for my son. BUt lately he has become unbearable. I give him chores in exchange for computer time and allowance , he won't do the chores he is given and expects to play the computer anyway, like it's a god given right.

he smart mouths and back talks, whines and cries continuously. He has ruined almost every holiday in the last year. He lied to someone the other day so he could get more fireworks, he is rough with my younger children...Help

Answer 1

Unruly kids boys and girls are annoying for the parent and the adults around. SOunds like you spend too much time together, and maybe all of you need a breather. Go on some sort of vacation to different locations...

You spank him, i'm not sure if you sue a belt, and actually hit hard, but leather belts scare the c**p out of 11 year old boys (i know from experience) and if you hit good, and get your point across that he needs to slow his role because hes cruisn for a brusin. Talking in combanation with action will work best in your senario.

For the most part, the factors have more to do with it.

I am exactly like your son, except the unbearable part, I'm a high honors student (4.0 the whole year), and I hang out with people most people wouldn't assume I do. I do it mostly because I'm not a stuck up prick who thinks 4.0 means I the god Gonja who has the power to out smart everyone. I've done some crazy things, but I've influenced my friends more than they have influenced me..

Answer 2

Hey Im 15.. and I was like that but im more mature.

he's doing this because he's growing up or he just want to be a little boy anymore.

It's basic puberty... he will get more mature and settle down in a while...or years...O.o

well any way. for now put down some rules. NEVER HIT HIM..thats child abuse in stead talk to him. Ask him why hes doing this. He might be upset with something. You never know.

Answer 3

talk to a counselor or talk to a police officer look for male role models that might a positive effect on his life get ahold of him now before it is too late

Answer 4

The more you talk about your worries around him, the more he thinks he needs to do something about it, so if he isnt old enough to get a job then he will do it other ways. But he is also wondering if it is any of his bussiness at the sametime, so he will try and make a life for himself, eg, hanging with trouble makers.

You should keep him on your side at all times, and try not to discipline him. then he will not be getting the attention of you shouting at him, and might help around the house more.

i am 14 and went through that stage, but luckily grew out of it, i reckon that your son might.

x

Answer 5

spank him oh yeah and god beleives in spankings its in the bible a child is never to young or old (except for infants obviously) to be spanked

Answer 6

give him one warning and then give him a spanking.  or u might want to try keeping him really busy on chores without rewards until he behaves.  when he does behave give him a small reward.

Answer 7

He needs to get a good spanking.

Answer 8

beat his a** then he'll take you seriously...!!

Answer 9

I don't understand the argument that the market is making it hard to find a new place.  The problem is that people CAN'T sell their homes because prices are falling so much.  You, as a buyer, are at a great advantage in this kind of market.

Many moms of boys tell me this is a great book:

http://www.amazon.com/Bringing-Boys-Prac...

Do you attend church?  Does he have some kind of outside moral guidance to push the guilt factor?  Sorry, to be so blunt and label it that... but at this age.... it usually means more of a guilt factor.

Be consistent and be tough.  He will turn around.

Answer 10

Ground him.

Answer 11

Take away his rights. Allowance is not a salary, it should be a reward for good behavior and doing what he is supposed to do. Tell him that he needs to shape up or you'll take away his allowance. Every time he talks back, take away 5%-10% of his allowance (depending on how much you give him). If he smart mouths you or does something, stay true to your word.

Don't let him hang around the kids. At school, you can't control it, but after school, you can.

Try being calm with him. Try talking to him to find out if there is anything bothering him. Try to keep a constant attitude; don't be nice then yell then nice then yell. Try enrolling him in some extracurricular activities, sports, or other fun things he can do after school. It'll give him something to do, keep him out of the cramped house, and give him time to himself.

Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 12

i am guessing hormones

Answer 13

Yell as loud as you can at him and ground him. (or call super NANY!) also unplug the computer in a way so he can't figure out how to turn it on.

Answer 14

spank him show him who's boss

Answer 15

hire supernanny

Answer 16

BEAT HIM

Answer 17

that age is always tough they are feeling themselves try taking away the things he likes but  really taking them .. since he is disobeying u and still getting on the computer try diasembling it and putting it away .. if his father is in the picture send him to him because this helped with my little brother at his age.... it is not an easy road; raising boys into men can be difficult ... i hope the best for you and your family... if you have good credit try buying a house... i have been in the same situation with getting an apt but because houses are forclosing rent is at a high... so i looked into buying a house a longterm investment with  a fixed rent amount (in the long run you will benifit from it) plus the houses are so cheap right now your mortage in a house will be alot cheaper than rent... am i am sure you community offers help to pay dwn payment etc i hope everything goes well (wow i wrote a book)

Answer 18

Stop feeing him junk ith sugar, artificial coloring, flavorings and preservative. Do not give him soda and carbonated beverages with caffeine. Give him a high protein diet and you will see a drastic change in him. Please try, it will save his life.

Answer 19

Spank him. TBH your probably too soft on him like all parents these days. Show him who is boss.

Answer 20

Maybe you should hang out with him more, play some games with him. Surprise him for a fun day! The truth of the matter is though, your son is growing up and he's questioning authority, his friends may also be influencing him in the wrong way.

Answer 21

Probably look for some male role models.

Answer 22

you should ground him and take his favorite things away from him if that don;t work out if were you i would just call supper nana on him just tell him that and see if that would work out for you

Answer 23

I know you probably wouldn't admit this, but if you're son is NOT behaving at ALL, send him to boarding school for a year. Maybe, they will teach him how to listen, than after a year, let him come back. Maybe, he'll listen than.

Answer 24

well i hated getting my hair wet when i was younger so when i was out of control my mom would spray water on my hair and then when i became upsessed with the computer she put a password on the computer

Answer 25

Paintball guns.. anytime he does something stupid, shoot him in the back.

Answer 26

Be more agressive, you might have to hit him alot or find a way to block the computer and take away his privelages until he straightens up.

Answer 27

It sounds as if you are in need of some child psychology/counseling advice.  I would find someone to talk to face to face about these issues.  We here don't know you or your son, or your family and really aren't in a position to offer solid advice since we don't know you or your situation fully.  The other problem is that no one will be able to offer anything that will work right now and continue to work...Changing behavior is an ongoing work in progress so you will need more support than what can be offered to you this one time...Good luck to you.