My 12 year old daughter told me a lad asked her to have s*x with her?

Question

"Mum, this guy in my form wants to have s*x with me?" I was taken back I mean we've had the talk but she seemed serious. She even said her friends were doing it with the boys in her form. I mean I'm not naive or uptight about s*x. My 15 year old son is doing it safely and my 13 year old son is very interested. But I just think 12? A tad young?

Answer 1

I dont think its fair that people have said that - a bad mother/ upbringing. I go to school (year 11) And at least 40% of my year have had s*x. Even if parents say no. It does not stop them. You should just tell her that she is far to young and should wait till she falls in love, like her brother (if she knows about him).

I think a lot of them answers are totally out of order, bet you dont know what your kids get up to all the time!  

Answer 2

Tell her this: No, you cannot. It is bad for you and you will regret it later. Do you want do lose it with someone you don't even love?

You know, 15 years old is too young even if it is a "steady" relationship. 15 is at the age when hormones kick in the most - male or female. Maybe he doesn't know it but for him, it could be "lust" instead of "love". He should save his gift for his one and only girl for him in the future who also is a virgin. He could regret it later.  

Answer 3

I Just HAVE to say this......ARE YOU CRAZY?  YOU ARE RIDICULOUS!  'Your 15 year old is doing it safely" and your 13 year old is "Very Interested" Why are you so Cavalier about your YOUNG Sons having s*x? My son is 14 1/2...Exceptionally Handsome and Smart (3.896 GPA) Excels in Sports...A Muscular Blue-Eyed Blonde California Boy...In OTHER words there is NO shortage of Females Panting after him....And you know what?  He's NOT having s*x...BECAUSE he has made a well-informed wise choice to wait and FOCUS on His Goals...you need to get it together because these boys (your sons) are Setting a VERY poor example for your 12 year old daughter. As are you.

Answer 4

12! No way. Even 15! No way.

I am ashamed of today teenagers, even though I'm a teenager. I am 15 and wouldn't even THINK of having s*x with anyone. Everyone just seems to sleep around nowadays, it's disgusting.

I wouldn't go as far as waiting until marriage, but I would at least wait until it's LEGAL.

It is ILLEGAL to have s*x under the age of 16. You are letting your children break the law.

Answer 5

12???!!! That's even worse than 13 and 15! She's not even a teenager yet! o____o I don't even know what to say without sounding over the top, but please, she's too young. She could regret it and at that age, that would be a very painful thing, and even when she gets older, I can't imagine that having had that kind of teenage life, she would be very happy in herself.

Answer 6

holy c**p y r all your kids having s*x?!

they r so young! im 15 and have been asked to have s*x with someone but have never done it!

they arent even mature enough to respect what they are doing! and if they tell you this imagine what they aren't telling you!

where the heck do you live?!?!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 7

well be glad your 12 is able to talk to you about these things.

just make sure they you explain that first time s*x should be with someone you love. and  all the pros, cons, good, bad, and ugly of s*x.

i say call the school and get that kid in trouble.

Answer 8

It is way too young, but the fact is, girls are doing it...well, obviously the boys are too.  My daughter is 15 and told me that the girls give oral s*x sot that they can remail virgins!  Gross.  But this is what they are doing and they think it is fine. Just talk to her about her age, and about how all the girls that are "doing it" are going to get bad reputations. Explain to her that if she has s*x with a 12 year old boy, or any boy, he is going to tell all of the kids in school, and she is going to get a bad reputation.  Try to talk to her about being in love and how it is better if it means something.

Answer 9

Why are any of your kids having s*x at their ages?

So what kind of upbringing have you given them where they can be so open to having s*x?  

Are you some new age, free love mother?

If they were my kids I would be teaching them about chastity and how virginity is valueable, precious  and noble.

Your added comments just show you up further as someone who has totally lost the plot.

I would never let your kids near mine.

Answer 10

What the h**l is wrong with being 15 years old, 16 is the legal age in England. Only one year older. Too me, that doesnt make much difference. Your the only one to judge yourself when you feel completely ready for s*x. 12 is way too young, but i dont think there is anything wrong with being 15. I was 15 when i lost my virginity, i was with this guy till i was 17, and now im 20, i do not regret it at all.

At 12 you should be able to tell your daughter that it is not right to have s*x yet, and to wait a couple of years.

Good luck!

Answer 11

OMG!!

I am appalled.

I am 15, my younger sister is 12 and my other sister is 16.

My older sister has a steady relationship but doesn''t have s*x.

I know some guys but i don't have a boyfriend atm.

and my younger sister barely talks to boys!

Just tell her no cause its illegal!

Answer 12

Well seeing as it's your daughter you dont want her to get pregnant. Believe me, im only 18 with a 2 and a half year old at home. I think you should speak to the school. If so many girls her age are having s*x do they know the consequences? Do they even know what s*x is? I think the school needs a new s*x ed talk with all girls your daughters age. Right now though tell your daughter that s*x is not for people her age and she should not be doing it, even if her friends are. Good luck.

-Richelle

Answer 13

i dont think she'll do it, she wudnt have came to you about it if she was gonna.

talk to her about it, explain that although she probably feels like an adult she is still not fully developed and for someone to have s*x with her, it is classed as rape, because the law says she isnt old enough to consent.

at her age she wudnt even need to press charges herself if it happened, u cud do that for her.

i think its nice she can talk openly with you.

as for ur 13 and 15 yr old, they are teenagers, they will be interested in s*x, doesnt mean that they shud be doin it but it normal for them to want to.

i think to handle this situation as a good mother, i wud inform my children of the risks of under age s*x and try my best to guild them, but u cant watch them all the time, as least they know they can come to you with any problems, and it sounds like you know what ur kids r up to  

Answer 14

DON'T LET HER...

15 yrs in my opinion is too young as well...

ugh, I'm sick of today's teens...though I am one myself...lol...

*edit: Still, 15? C'mon, he shouldn't be doing anything of the sort...

**Tell her straight out: NO!!!!!

Answer 15

hi my name is stacey and i'm 14. well just tell her when she dose decided to have s*x to make sure she is ready and not to let anyone force her to have s*x with them and to have safe s*x. to be honest that is all you can say because if she is going to do it then she will and at least this way she will still confide in you.

hope this helps good luck.

Answer 16

hi :)

yes 15 is very young but soo many young girls are doing it at that age, shocking but true..

thier is not too much you can do you cant stop her but just chatting with her and telling you how you would feel if she did.. and the ricks about infections and tell her how she would regret it doing it at a young age because men dont like women that have slept with more people than then.. its not ladylike nor classy and more girls need to have that nowadays..

in school now its like a competition on who looses thier virginity first, so girls are under soo much pressure.. i know i was at a young age..

ignor the stupid comments about all your children having s*x, thier pathetic

hope i helped

x

Answer 17

Yea, 12 is too young--but since she brought it up (and you must be a good mum since your kids still feel they want to divulge this stuff to you) you should have the discussion with her about how she feels about it, how you feel about it, STDs and other implications/responsiblities that will come along with having s*x, what she would do if she got pregnant (even with birth control it can happen), what if people talk, etc.  It would give her a chance to air her insecurities or whatever and give you a chance to let her know how you feel too, make her start seeing "s*x" in the bigger picture.

Answer 18

Look, lets not be stupid here, we know what kind of society we live. Your son having s*x at 15, that's cool, as long as he does it safely but even that's a risk he may not even have matured enough to properly fit a condom. But as far as your daughter goes she should hold off as long as possible or risk being deemed a floozy, s**t, w***e, or easy. That's not a reputation that is going to flatter her or support a good love for her self later down the road. Also you have to realize you can only control your children to a certain extent, by all means do not forbid her, but explain to her what could happen to her reputation if she does decide to have s*x. Because if she doe, and likes it and keeps doing it, I can guarantee she will not like herself by high school.

Answer 19

God some people on here are so harsh not to mention just downright rude.

While I think 12 is way too young there's only a certain amount you can do and that would be give her sound advice, give it to her straight.

If you go and say 'no you're not allowed', she may just do it to prove a point. Teenagers can be so rebellious and the best thing to do is be there for her and teach her that it's ok to say no and to not feel pressured into it.

At the end of the day, it's not entirely up to you what she decides, she's becoming a young woman and will want to make her own decisions.

Talk to her about contraception, if she's serious then maybe she could have the implant. At least that way she doesn't have to worry about missed pills. Also I would make sure she has condoms, obviously it's not just unplanned pregnancy you and her need to think about.

Kids these days grow up a lot faster and I think it's great you're so open about s*x, carry on being a supportive mum and have a good chat with your daughter.

Answer 20

Well I'm no expert but 12 is a bit too young and so is 13!

15 isn't as bad as hes a boy and 16 is fine for a girl but just talk to her and ask her does she know the consequences?

xoxo

Answer 21

It isnt legal for any of your 3 children to be sexually active, I'm 14 and many of the people in my class have had s*x before. Basically you should tell her that she shouldnt even think about it. Men who want to just have s*x with you wont stay with you. They don't really love you or they will wait untill it's legal. Tell her s*x isnt the most important things and not to make a name for herself [By that I mean s**t.]

Everyone who has done it in my year, mostly get talked about between me and my freinds for being easy anad sleeping around. Dont let her get ideas that boys will only love her if she offers it on a plate.

Good luck.

Ashley x3

Answer 22

12, for a girl is verryyyy young. Guys is kinda a different story, but 15 is fine as long as he has a steady relationship.

I feel you should say,

"Look if you wanna be a mom, before your b***s even develop by all means go ahead. But you can't just go sleep around with a guy you barely know. That's just wrong, what will people say? You need to wait until you older when you can take on responsibilites or at least have a steady boyfriend."

Answer 23

I think Social Services Department or Child Welfare should be involved here - how can any parent condone their child having underage s*x.

Yes, they may try it underage, and thank the lord your son is being safe but you talk about this 15 year old kid having s*x as if it's no big deal.  I would be worried if I was you.

Are you really a mother?

Eh?  Do we think you are stupid? - Your son is in a steady relationship - you don't just let him sleep around.  Do you have to ask if we think you are stupid?  OMG - sorry, I don't think you are a mother.

Answer 24

Yes quite young, it could just be a cry for you to explain to her what it is though? make sure she knows the facts, if she does she's less likely to be curious about it and want to try at such a young age.

Answer 25

Just tell her though her body is ready physically for s*x that her mind may think she's ready but really...Her emotions can not handle what will be put on her plate when she starts having s*x.

Just tell it like it is. C'mon mom, you know exactly what to say to her.

Just remember that no matter what you say to her, she will do what she feels anyway so instead of just handing her some condoms, slip them in her top drawer or something so she doesn't think you're promoting s*x..

keep in mind that the lawful age to have s*x is 16. and I think maybe you should remind your children that.

Answer 26

There is no such thing as "doing it safely." Absolutely NO birth control or method of STD prevention is 100% guaranteed. So you need to get your fifteen year old out of this situation. You are encouraging him to get girls pregnant and get STDs!! And you say you're not naive? You're sooo naive I can't even take it. Don't you realize the consequences of having s*x before you are able to take care of a child or treat a disease? Don't you realize that a lot of people who have s*x use a condom, yet get pregnant anyway? It's okay for your children to know about s*x and understand what can happen if you have it before you are ready, but they should not be having s*x. 12 years old isn't even old enough to go out with a boy, much less have s*x. I didn't learn what s*x was until I was 12!! So here is what you need to do:

1. Get your son to stop having s*x. That's ridiculous.

2. Get your 13 year old son a new hobby. "Very interested" in s*x, and you're just letting it go?

3. Tell your daughter what will happen to her friends if they keep having s*x like that.

4. Tell her you love her, and you don't need that c**p happening to her!

YES 12 IS TOO YOUNG!! SO IS 13 AND 14 AND 15 AND 16 AND 17!!

Answer 27

12 is way too young.

13 is way too young.

15 is way too young.

You need to teach your children to be adults and take adult responsibility, step-by-step and year-by-year, not to engage in adult behavior while still children.

Remember, what you think of as "uptight" is actually responsible.

Answer 28

You think!!

In my opinion I don't think a 15 year old should be having s*x either. What kind of message are you sending your kids by being "ok" with that? I know kids will find a way to do it regardless, but your giving the wrong example to your other kids. How do you know your 15 year old is being safe, are you there with him?

Answer 29

At lot of people on here are being judgemental close minded idiots.

I agree that 12 is FAR too young and she shouldn't do it, I respect the fact that your children feel that they can tell you about these things.

I bet a lot of the people critisizing on here don't have the same sort of relationship with their children.

What a lot of parents don't realise is that they're probably going to do it anyway, you might as well know who they're doing it with, talk to them about protection and make sure they're using it, rather than you being all uptight and judgemental, so your children don't tell you anything, sleep around, get pregnant/STDs all because they couldn't talk to you about s*x.

I am 14 years old, so people will probably dismiss me because of my age, i would definately not have s*x until i am legal and ready, but i don't judge people that don't.

As long as they're being safe who am I to judge?

I do believe that 12 is too young but if your children are ready and going to have s*x, you might as well know about it and make sure they're doing it safely because they're probably going to do it anyway.

Answer 30

all these judgemental people that just assume things p**s me off. sit her down and explain to her the consequences. research and everything. show pictures of the consequences educate her. thoroughly!!! educate yourself also don't just wing it. explain every little bit to her. include your sons too. dont just get the bad stuff either....good luck..:P

Answer 31

Well i personally think all your children are too young to have s*x but you should tell your daughther the dangers of s*x and tell her the s*x is for grown ups who love eachother it is choice but i think people should hae s*x at 18 beacuse that is when you have the right to vote and make more of your own descisions i thin you should have a talk with all your children about s*x and the dangers but 12,13 and 15 is really yound and most people who hae it at that ae regret it for life and you hsould be more uptight about s*x beacuse it is veyr life changing