My 12 year old neice is always wanting to come and stay at mine?

Question

My oldest neice is 12 ys old and I love her to bits but she's always wanting to be at my flat which I share with 3 other people. I only recently found out why when she was on the phone talking. These are her exact words:

"Yeah, I'm at my Aunty Casey's.....What? No I like it here, she's let me stay here forever if I wanted. No seriously, she'll do anything I say and if she doesn't one of her stupid flat mates will do it for me.....I'm serious, she's softer than dad and mum. She's the stupid on in the family. She's an artist and she can't spell....look I've got to go."

She was laughing the whole time she was talking to her friend. My brother is getting annoyed because I've had to ask him twice for the money she's racked up on the phone bill. I'm dyslexic and she was making jokes about it over the phone when everyone could here. I don't let her walk all over me but I am less strict than her parents.

Answer 1

Tell her that if she is going to disrespect you, than she is no longer welcomed.  Tell her that the smart comments she makes hurts you, and you won't tolerate it.  She is absolutely taking advantage of you...and you need to stop it now.  You are not her mother....that is your brother and sis-in-laws job to raise her to respect other people and to deal with it.  Don't let her over anymore.....you don't need the extra stress of somebody that is not going to appreciate spending time with you....when I was that age I stayed at my Aunt's all the time...because I wanted to spend time with her, not to take advantage of.  You deserve to be treated better than that.

Answer 2

And you think kids are supposed to be sweet! Jesus, I'm 13 and I think kids like that just need to grow up some.

She needs to be punished for that!

I'm sorry you had to hear that, I really am. And I'm sorry your own niece who you love, can't show it back respectfully.

Answer 3

I say don't let her stay as often and for as long, you get stricter, and make her respect you.  Also tell her parents about what she said.  Hopefully they'll punish her.

Answer 4

don't let her do that... she doesn't have respect for you.  tell her she can't come over and you won't give her anything till she starts giving you the respect you deserve.  but stick to your guns on your word though.

Answer 5

What a disrespectfull thing to say, I am speachless. You are too soft on her. Show her that you are not someone she can just step on, it's your house and you have your own rules there, respect is one of them

Making fun of your dyslexia is even worse. If I were you I wouldn't allowe her to come and stay at my place.

Answer 6

I think you need to prove that you are smart, and tell her that she cannot stay at your flat with her attitude. She was using you my friend, sorry to say.

Answer 7

I would tell your brother what she said and her also. and i am dyslexic too my friends make fun of me but when i told them it hurt my feelings they didnt do it so much so talk to her about it and say many people have it an its very rude make fun of them because it is not like someone can change it it is apart of them.

Answer 8

Help this little missy pack her bags and send her back to her parents.  She's already learned how to use and manipulate adults and if this isn't nipped in the bud now, it will have bad results later.  I see it every day.  Let her see that the way she treats people has consequences.  Then she will be a more responsible adult.

Answer 9

she is taking advantage of you .dont let her stay anymore and tell her you heard her talking and you dont like it, she might respect you for standing up for yourself,try not to be soft with her she sounds very sly

Answer 10

You have to be more srict with her.  You can't spoil her or else she will get used to getting everything that she wants, just tell her that she can NOT always get what she wants all of the time.  She needs to learn that.  And if she still acts like that then tell her parents, because they deserve to know what is going on with their child.

Answer 11

I think u should sit down with her and her parents and tell them what u just wrote. Confront her in front of her parents and demand an apoligy. That was rude and disrespectful. She's at that age when she can munipulate people, and get away with it.

Good lUck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 12

I would tell her that until her behaviour stops and she apologises she isnt coming round to the flat anymore. Invite her out to places like maybe go to Pizza Hut,  go swimming together etc so you still her time together...when you're out maybe you can have a friendly chat about whats happening...

She's your niece not your daughter so dont feel guilty about not having her over-she needs to learn respect and if you are still letting her take over your flat then she's not learning that!

Answer 13

A good hard spanking never hurt anyone and that sounds exactly like what she needs.