My 13 is rude and disrespectfull to me how do I handle this?

Question

whole divorce and new boyfriend idea( its been 1 and half years. I did start dating to soon. She was being rude and a smart *** to me so i slapped her then she hit me back and said she was calling the police because I hit her and that's abuse. I gave her the phone. so to be hit and threatened what do I do now??? her real father doesnt see her but her step-father does. I know shes angry I (we) need serious help

Answer 1

sorry mom.

Answer 2

She rightfully has a lot of anger and resentment built up inside her. Being 13 is hard enough but having to deal with divorce and you rushing into a relaitionship too soon has greatly affected her. You should not have slapped her! That is abuse, even if she was acting like a smart ***! You need to consider why she was acting this way, not just her actions. I suggest that you take her to family counselling with JUST the two of you.

Answer 3

As a child I went through a similar "phase"... My mother on the other hand installed fear in me... So I knew my limits...

I dont know whats your views are in regards to disciplining your child. BUT... Here are two options that you can use w/out whipping her behind... (My mom used # 1 on me when I was 15..For being smart w/ a teacher)

1- The next time she gets smart out her mouth, you tell her that since she wants to be grown... You will treat her as grown. For her to strip down to her underwear (because you bought it), and get a job, her own clothes, food, etc. Literately make her leave your house in her underwear and some flip flops... The embarrassment of it will COMPLETELY show how much you provide for her,and how much of a child she REALLY is! Most importantly humble her as a young lady.

2- She gets smart out of her mouth.. (Depends on your own time) Have her do your own community service. Go to womens shelters on HER free time, nursing homes, child adoption agency (so she can see kids that have NO parent) or even an old neighbors house to help out with WHATEVER they need. This will teach her to respect elders, and it will humble her because she will NOT want to do this for the rest of her weekends! (My mom did this when I was her age, for showing lack of respect to a neighbor... I think I didnt hold the door for them..sorry it was a while back)

Answer 4

Send them to Military school

Answer 5

I am guessing by the category you put your question in which is

Home > Society & Culture > Cultures & Groups > L*****n, g*y, Bisexual, and Transgendered > Open Question  

that you are g*y and maybe that is too much for her to handle....she is acting out by not accepting the relationship....try and be more patient and understanding with her....hitting is not a way to get your child to listen it only opens up a new can of worms.

Answer 6

Don't be hitting each other. That's messed up.

Try to relate to her and keep your hands' to yourself, the both of you

Answer 7

all 13 yr olds hate here mom its a phase but make sure shes not having s*x or anything, get her a counselor, dnt ground her or anything it will just make everything a 100 times worse

Answer 8

Stop hitting, seek counseling.  A good family counselor can help open up the lines of communication.  Good luck.

Answer 9

In what way is this a g*y, bisexual and transgendered question?

It sounds like you have an angry adolescent girl on your hands. This is pretty normal, but physical violence is NOT the way to deal with it. All you can do (outside of actual therapy) is try to be reasonable and understanding with her while at the same time laying down the law in a clear, rational way and hope that she gets over adolescence before the two of you kill each other.

Answer 10

good luck.  tell your kid not to rob me.  cause ill knock her *** out

Answer 11

Don't resort to violence. Sit down and talk to her about it--how you care about her and just want the best for her and how you understand. Speak calmly and let her talk about how she feels about it. If that's not enough try family therapy.

Answer 12

If this behavior is new - and she has never acted this way before the first step is to sit down with her father and discuss.  You need to explain to her that in the future this will not be accepted and begin punishing her for her actions.  

You might also consider a child counselor.  You might also consider that you need to end this new relationship and focus on your family.  there will always be time for romance later.

Also, ex-husband, step-father, boyfriend.....don't you think you are giving her a terrible example of relationships...if all your relationships are this transitory you are not quite in hte right place yourself.  

Answer 13

Lock her *** in a closet and tell her you're the boss not her. Our just call Juvenile Court and they can help.  

Answer 14

You didn't have any right to slap her either, just because she is not an adult doesn't give you more right to physically assault her.  So, I'd start by not doing that anymore. (I'm not attacking you, but trust me, my dad used to hit me when I was that age and I'm still scarred over it and can't forgive him even though he is dead).  Maybe you should actually sit down and talk to her like a mature adult without any defensiveness.  If she is just too conflicted, maybe family therapy will help.

Answer 15

BLESS YOUR HEART. i dont envy anyone who has a 13 year old daughter their hormones are in complete freak out mode and it will stay like this until she is 20 get her in a good youth program at a good church 13 yr old girls dont like their moms its part of growing up, good luck

Answer 16

I'm thirteen and i know exactly what shes feeling

its a time where hormones and different things are making us act different. i even find myself saying stupid, hurt-full, and insulting things to my parents...

then ten minutes later I'm like

what was i thinking?

i think you should just try not to do anything bad that shes gonna really get mad at

thats wat i would want from my parents

Answer 17

You say she is disrespectful..

Maybe this is because she doesn't receive the respect back...

You shouldn't be hitting each other.

That doesn't solve anything.

Seek help.

Psychiatry, family therapy, counselling, or even just sit down and talk to each other.

Maybe at a safe distance.

Answer 18

you say shes thirteen, you whoop her mothaf*ckin as*. dont let her see that your scared, you let her know you're the mother and shes the child. maybe she is acting out, but there is a right way to vent out your emotions. maybe you could try to talk to her about what shes feeling or maybe let her talk to another adult... but as far as her hitting you back no dont take that from a child let alone your own. oh if she wants to call the police let her, and when they come let them take her to juve she'll straighten up-she's only 13

Answer 19

Both of you need counseling, separate at first then together!

Answer 20

Hitting your kid will never solve any problems.  I suggest owning up to that mistake first of all and apologizing to her.  Yes, she hit you back but in all honesty, if you're hitting her where do you think she learned to hit back?

Go talk to a psychologist, seriously.  Some family counseling might help.  And don't use physical threats anymore; that won't solve anything.  A girl her age and w/ no father figure and her mom dating somone new - this can be very difficult for kids.  Try to be understanding and use some love.

Answer 21

take her to her favorite place to eat and let her tell you how she feels and what she is thinking about,before you say anything you should just listen to how she is feeling.

This way its a public place and neither of you can make a big commotion about it unless you want to be embarrassed in public.

I think parents lack at that a lot and don't communicate,let her know you can and will listen to what she has to say,or it might get worse and she will know she can't come talk to you because all you will do is yell and hit her.

good luck

Answer 22

I don't know why this is in g*y and L*****n, but I saw it so I clicked on it anyway.  I think you guys must go to a psychiatrist TOGETHER immediately.  You all need help, and that is the bottom line.  There's nothing we can do about it!

Answer 23

make a dungen and lock her in it and don't feed her for a year or so maybe longer be awesome

Answer 24

Wow.

What a disrespectful child. How dare she even think about hitting you? -Hugs-

I think that you really need to get her checked into some councling. I also think that you need to take away a lot of things from her, such as the internet, her cellphone if she has one, and tell her that she cannot see this new boyfriend of hers because he is seeming to have a negative influence on her.

Tell her that if she ever hits you again you will have her sent away. No one should hit the person that brought them into this world.

DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR HITTING HER! YOU DID NOTHING WRONG! THEIR IS NOTHING WRONG WITH A CHILD GETTING A GOOD SLAP ON THE FACE EVERY NOW AND THAN JUST AS LONG AS IT IS NOT TO THE POINT WHERE IT IS ABUSIVE!