My 13 year old daughter wants to move out of state with her dad...help!

Question

I had my daughter when I was very young and never married her father. We split up by the time she was 1 year old and her dad didn’t come around until she was 5. Once he started coming around he took her every other weekend. By the time she was 9, we decided to move out of state and I asked permission to leave from her dad. It took him a week and he agreed to our terms. He sees her during the summer months and for a week during the holidays. This last time when she returned from her dad’s, she came home to my husband and I splitting up. My husband moved 3 days after her return. Unfortunately, my daughter has been very upset, which is understandable given the circumstance; however, she informed me that she had been talking to her dad and she wants to move in with him out of state. I am not an unfit mother. I work full time, go to school and take care of all of my babies. Can she do this? And what rights do I have as her mother? I have sole custody of her and have since the time she was born…can my daughter just say she wants to move with her dad and move? Ugh…please help!

Answer 1

Since you have full custody no she can not just move out. That's the point of having custody. She is a considered a minor. She's probably just acting out because things at home are "normal". Give her some time to clear her head, maybe she'll change her mind. Or let her stay with him for a school year, she'll probably realize the grass was greener on your side! I wish I had better advise (my kids are still young so I'm just guessing at what I would do). I hope things work out for all! Good luck and God bless!

Answer 2

she can't just up and do it. he or she must take you to court for custody.

call a lawyer tomorrow.  

Answer 3

No, of course she can't just up and move. If you have physical custody, she cannot move in with her Dad without your permission.

I don't know what his situation is. But, if it is tenable, you might want to consider allowing her to go for a trial period. Put the agreement on paper and all three of you sign it. Chances are, after she's spent some time with him, she'll be ready to come home. If not, I would require the father to go through the courts if they want to make it permanent. Maybe he won't want to spend the time and money it takes to do that. If he does, chances are he'll get at least temporary custody; so I think the trial period is a better option.