My 13 year old wets her pants out of lazyness?

Question

I have a 13 year old daughter who keeps wetting her pants out of lazyness, at first I thought it was a problem so I tooke her to 2 doctors and both said it was out of lazyness. I know I need to give her a punishment because she wont stop I am just not sure what to do, she does it during the day and at least 2 times a day, at first she tried hiding from me but I found out . how should I punish her.

Answer 1

I don't think it's laziness and the fact she was hiding it from you suggests she's not doing it on purpose or out of spite.  It's common among teenage girls that sometimes they're too "busy" to use the restroom.  And if your daughter has a small or weak bladder, that could result in - wet pants.  I don't think punishment is the answer here, especially if she's peed her pants at school or with friends and yet she still keeps wetting her pants, no punishment would really help.  I would also suggest bringing her to a urologist specialist - a female urologist if possible (as I think she'd be more comfortable talking about peeing her pants to a female), and see if they can find anything wrong, physically or psychologically.

Answer 2

I agree with Suzy.  

Your daughter has serious issues if she keeps wetting her pants.  It is not out of laziness.  Punishment and embarrassment will only make her resent you.  She's trying to hide it from you because you have said you want to punish her.  Seek out some therapy for her.  There may be nothing physically wrong with her, but she could have some emotional or depressive issues.

Answer 3

Tell her you'll make her wear pull-ups, and hang a big "Stay Dry" sticker chart on the wall when her friends come. She'll e embarassed but tell her that if she wants to pee herself like a baby, you're going to treat her like a baby. Another option would be to tell her you won't wash her pants for her anymore and that she has to do it herself. She'll run out of clean clothes pretty quickly and maybe that will stop the pattern.

I also agree with the taking the electronics away.

Try all of these answers and let me know how it turns out when you do the best answer. i'll check back, because i'm curious.

Answer 4

oviosly your child has other emotional issues!

Answer 5

PLEASE do not punish her. It may seem to you that she is being lazy but, I promise you that is not what is going on. It is not emotionally healthy for a 13 year old girl to pee in her pants because she is lazy. This is not something a healthy 13 year old does out of laziness. She needs help. I don't know what kind of doctor(s) you took her to but, firstly you should take her to a urologist. They will most likely do some tests on her to see if there is anything physically causing the problem. If it turns out there is nothing physically at cause, then you and she should definitely look for a therapist. Find someone who has dealt with this issue (or similar ones, certainly someone with experience with 13 yr old girls) before and who seems good to you. By that I mean, do not continue to see someone you don't like or who doesn't seem to click with you. There are plenty of ok therapists out there and some bad or useless ones too but, there are also some excellent ones who can work with you and her (you should find someone who wants to see you both) and make a tremendous difference in your life. Please do not take this out on her by punishing her and please seek some help.

Answer 6

Let her sit in her p**s clothes for an afternoon, that should be punishment enough.

Answer 7

is shes fat.....lazy people are fat.

make her exersie....take away her entertaining devices (tv, ipod, computer etc)

tell her she has to actually go to the washroom if she wants them back....don't give her anything unless she gets up for it

Answer 8

the best way to do it is first treating her like her age, a mature 13 year old. like telling her that she is to old for dipers, and she is growing up now. talk to her like she is mature. if she doesnt respond to that, than start treating her like a younger child. making her wear dipers, and giving her an early bed time. take all of her mature privlages away.like cellphones, makeup, i pods, boys, etc. tell her that if she doesnt act her age, then she cant have the privlidges of other kids her age. if that doesnt work, then there is something that she is not telling you. take her to a mental health doctor. they know how to pry things out of peoples heads.

Answer 9

Wow!

If she's doing it because she doesn't want to get up from tv/computer..etc, take it all from her.

Make her get out in public, she won't do it there I bet!

Good luck!

Answer 10

Have you tried talking to your daughter and finding out from her why she is doing this?  Tell her you will not be judgemental but want to know the reason for her wetting.  If it is pure laziness then make sure that her actions has consequences such as having to wash the carpet.  It may, however, be for a totally different reason.  Good luck.

Answer 11

I honestly feel you should sit her down and talk to her and explain that she is a teenager now and that wetting her pants is done by toddlers. She is getting older now and needs to become more and independent and and mature.She needs to know that wetting her pants for a thirteen year old girl is lazy and sorry to say quite disgusting :( Makesure she knows that other girls at 13 dont wet their pants either and explain to her how embarrasing it would be if her friend knew she wets her pants!

Good luck  x :)

Answer 12

First of all that doctor was stupid. And your instinct's should tell you this is more than just laziness. My niece fostered teen girls that did this. They had been sexually abused, or this is a sign of depression. When you begin to let the bodily functions go, there is some serious problems going on. You don't punish her, you get her help, and you don't give up till you get to the bottom of this. This is not normal. No girl would want to wet and stinky. Please get your daughter some help.

Answer 13

Explain to her it is not ok that until she stops she cant go anywhere or watch tv or talk on the phone !!! Stick to it or just spank her!!!

Answer 14

Did the doctor run some test on her, just to really disregard the possibility of any medical issue? If they did and did not find  anything wrong, then....what you could is not wash her clothes, make her wear the same clothes and if she wants clean clothes she can do it herself.

Answer 15

Make a routine, where she has to use the bathroom and certain number of times a day, at a certain time a day, no matter what. See if with a dailly rutine, it would help. This used to happen to me as an adult, because i was running around like a busy bee all day, and not stopping to use the restroom, it got even worse, because i was getting UTI's, because the urine will go back into the bladder and up your wherever when i wouldnt use the bathroom.

Good luck.

Emotional problems dont show up on test results, get her a therapist, someone she can talk to and figure out whats wrong. She shouldnt have a reason to be lazy.

Answer 16

i would not let her lay down except for bed and if she pees the bed i would sit her on a time out like a little kid...

Answer 17

I know it seems wrong but usually kids stop doing odd behavior when other kids make fun of them......maybe if she did it around her peers she'd realize its wrong and maybe change. i know that might have a possible negative effect but it might work as well

Answer 18

Make her do her own laundry as a punishment.

Take away whatever is distracting her so much that she doesn't want to spend the time to get up and pee.

And maybe take her to a shrink.

Answer 19

You should make her wear the pee soaked clothes to school.

Answer 20

You should make her wear Depends.

Answer 21

Let her sit in it. clean it up. and then talk to her. If she doesn't fix it then let her have an accident at school and don't help her. If she only has the accidents at home and not in a public place. I would talk to her and then think of counseling. There could be an underline problem I know that there are medications that can fix the problem. Don't hit the child, embarrassment is better and lasts longer in the mind.

If she acts like a child treat her like one!

Answer 22

At 13 if it's not physical it's psychological

Use a little common sense

You don't punish her for it...you get her professional help ...and while you're at it get some for yourself

And stop blaming her for it