My 14 month old never cuddles me and doesn't like it when i cuddle him? Is this normal?

Question

I give him loads of attention, i'm always reading, playing with him, taking him for walks and he is always laughing and smiley yet my friend who doesn't really do much with her son who is the same age as mine cuddles her. I don't get it am i doing something wrong??

Answer 1

My first thought was autism but when you said that he is smiley and laughing, that contradicted that notion.  He would likely withdraw and not talk or communicate if that were so.  Keep this in mind for the next few months in case it develops as he is still a little young for diagnosis.

Sometimes, kids just have to be taught to be affectionate. I have twin girls and one is all about hugs and kisses.  I literally had to teach the other one to do these.  They just didn't come naturally to her.  

Keep doing what you are doing.  You sound like a marvelous mother and it will be ok.  It is very normal to worry.  I still worry all of the time. Just be observant and patient.  He will learn it in time.  Then just when you get used to it, he will decide that he doesn't want to do it anymore!  :)  They keep us on our toes!

God's best to you!

Answer 2

Relax, (1) all kids are different, (2) you may already be giving him enough attention so that he doesn't feel the need for more, which is great! (3) he may start later. My younger son never wanted to sleep in my bed, never calmed down when I took him, hated his baby-carrier and always was a loner, but by the age of 3 years he suddenly changed his ways and now he's all about kissing, hugging, carrying him (and he is getting heavy, btw :) ) Don't look at the other kids, yours will do it his own way!

Answer 3

My daughter was just like that. She is eighteen now and goes board rigid when I try to give her a hug. I think she gets it from her dad. He's not a very physical person. My son on the other hand always gives me a cuddle and still kisses me. He's twelve.

Answer 4

Its just one of the phases they go through he will grow out of it.

Answer 5

Our first was a bit like this, but he dosent shy away from cuddles now (7), although his emotional development is not entirely as would wish. (spends lots of time playing on his own, can be disobedient, etc) I dont think you have anything to worry about babies are all different and yours just likes to be a bit more free than others.

Answer 6

don't worry to much theirs plenty time for bonding in fact a whole life time ahead of you just keep doing the things you have mentioned and you will be OK

Answer 7

my 5 year old still loves to cuddle, however to this day my 2 year old will ONLY cuddle with me if he's sick. It happens. im not worried.I wouldnt worry if i was you. just ask the doctor anyway

Answer 8

All kids are different. My oldest and youngest are very independent and were always very much "argh, get OFF me!" when I tried to cuddle them. They were too busy being busy. My middle child, LOVES to cuddle. He let me hold him all day long when he was a baby. At five, he still comes to me once an hour or so for a quick hug or snuggle.

It's just who he is. As long as you interact with him, and he knows he's loved, he'll be fine. He's just not a snugglebug. If and when you have another, there's a good chance that one will be. :)

Oh, and the other people posting about autism could be right. Worst case scenerio, you might want to consider testing. Autistic kids don't like close contact. But since you said he's always laughing and smiley, I wouldn't worry too much. My non-cuddlers are just fine.

Answer 9

sometimes they go through a independent phase if it doesnt go away I would get the baby a screening for autisim.

Answer 10

autism

i hope that you get together

:):):)

Answer 11

do you have bad breath?

Answer 12

Don't freak out, its probably not, but you may want to look into symptoms of autism.  I'm definitely no expert but I have read that children with autism don't show affection the way most children do and thats just the first thing I thought of when I read this.  It's probably not, but it may be something to look into and educate yourself about so that if it was you would at least be able to understand it better.

Answer 13

No keep giving him all the love and attn that you can... some children dont like to cuddle exp if they are hot natured.... just depends on the child

Answer 14

your not doing somthing wrong i bet he loves you alot he just isnt a cuddle one most boys aren't

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 15

please have your baby tested for autism.  early intervention is key

Answer 16

its because he gets so much attention he dosnt need reassuring with cuddles, babies usually want to cuddle when they are tired, or feeling vulnerable, which amounts to the same thing really, so well done you, your baby is so confident it dosnt need cuddling!

on the other hand, if you baby seems withdrawn and wont interact at all autism could be the cause, but as you say he is always laughing and smiley that dosnt sound like the problem.

Answer 17

could be autism

Answer 18

My niece is exactly the same way.  She rarely likes anyone, including her mother to cuddle her.  That is just her way.  Nothing wrong with it.  Your son seems completely normal, so just try not let it bother you.  I know it must be tough though.  My daughter is three months younger than my niece and they are exactly the opposite in every way including the area of cuddling.  My daughter loves to be cuddled by all those she is close to and she rather do that then play most of the time.  I am sure it bothers my SIL because her daughter expresses her devotion in other ways.  Just remember you are your son's world and you are the most important person to him, even if he is not a cuddlier.

Answer 19

yeah it's normal, don't worry its nothing! he don't even know what you're doing and when he's about 2 years old he should know! x

Answer 20

What is it with you people?  Are you guys Chicken Little with the sky falling?

I wouldn't worry about autism.  If you have been to your well-baby checkups like you are supposed to, they will have checked that and know if there is any possibility.

At this age babies are becoming more independent all the time.  They are walking better, eating more, and deciding what things they like to play with and everything else.  It is just a stage...he will come around.  It is true not all babies are cuddlers.  I am assuming that you had him in a bassinet and he didn't sleep with you in your bed through the night (good for you by the way) Stats say those babies are more "cuddlers" because they are used to being close and getting the food...

Chill out, laugh at your son's plights and be there when he needs you...Trust me, he needs you...

Answer 21

maybe hes not the cuddling type.. trying talking to him more this way he can open up nd mayb seem closer

Answer 22

my mother in law tells me all the time about my husband compared to his brother. my hubby was a cuddly baby, his brother was not. some babies just aren't. i've seen the same thing with my friend's who have kids too.

Answer 23

I had the SAME PROBLEM with my daughter. I was so concerned she had some sort of development problem. Then one day around 15-16 months she started kissing everything. EVERYTHING.  She's huggy and cuddly and all of that at 18 months.  I think sometimes they're just too interested in the world around them to stop and show affection right away.  Of course, there's always a small chance there is a problem...so talk to your doctor if you're concerned...but for me, I have never met a cuddlebug like my daughter...the same baby who didn't even want to be held at 12-15 months!

The laughing and smiling is a very good indication that there is no underlying issue other than him being Mr. Independance.  :)

Answer 24

he is probly going through a phase

other than that i can't really help you srry

Answer 25

its probably you're giving your son lots of attention and hes probably had enough but your friend really doesn't give her as much attention to her so as you do to yours so her son probably wants more

Answer 26

some babies just dont like when you hav ur arms on them i guess they feel tied down. i mean how would u feel if someone had u practicly pinned down trying to hug u and u just wanted to play.