My 14 year old daughter pregnant? Help

Question

I just found out my 14 year old daughter is 3wks pregnant by a 16 year old. I took her to the doctor because she was missing her period and having morning sickness and always be tired all of the time. I never asked was she having s*x because she is so sweet a quiet and striagh A's student. She is my only child and I never thought this would happen her and the boy been dating since her 8th grade year he is now in the 11th is she is in the 9th and I feel like I waited to late to tell her about teen pregnancy now I really don't know what to do. When her dad finds out he will killed her boyfriend. I really don't know what to do should I get her an abortion or let her keep it. I don't want this to ruin her career.

Answer 1

I would ask her if she wants an abortion or to keep the baby.  

Answer 2

well this sounds familiar. The same thing happened to me. Except I was the 14 yr old. I am now 34 and my daughter will be 18 soon. It was hard my mom found out when I was 6 months pregnant and took it hard we thought my step dad would flip out but he didn't go crazy he invited the boys family over and explained to them that we would not be getting married but we had already broke up before I found out I was pregnant. I would not force your daughter to get an abortion she might resent you for it or you never know if she will ever be able to have another child in the future. I was not able to have anymore children I had to have a hysterectomy in my 20's she is a blessing to me my mom and grandmother helped me out a lot. It won't be easy for any of you but you have to stand by her and support her and help her through this difficult time. With support she will get through this and so will you my daughter and I are very close and have a special relationship. I ended up meeting a wonderful man who adopted my daughter as his own we have been married 13 yrs now. Don't get me wrong I wish I had waited until I was older but I feel it made me a much better person and stronger in life. Please let me know how it goes.

Answer 3

well that sucks

choose pro-life

Answer 4

I'm 14 and my parents just found out tht I'm sexually active. what you have to understand is that its not your fault. My parents taught me everything there was to know and I took s*x ed like 4 times. and for real i could write a book on stds and teen pregnancy and i knew all this before i had s*x with my (ironic) 16 yr old boyfriend. all you can do is be there for her and let her decide to keep it or adopt it out or abort it. (ps, I thought my dad would kill my boyfriend too but, and I quote him, "you can;t blame a dog for being a dog) he was very understanding and is actually still letting me see him. just don't keep your daughter away from her boyfriend bc this would only really upset her. She needs him right now, just like she needs you and your husband. good luck, dear. I hope everything works out ok

Answer 5

Let her decide. Forcing an abortion on her might be traumatizing. She may never forgive herself. If you LET her it's a different story. Don't force her.

Answer 6

its her choice, she is supposed to call the shots on this one

force her to have an abortion-you might ruin her life

force her to give the baby up for adoption-you might ruin her life

please dont pressure her into anything!

and please be supportive of the choice SHE makes. At 16, she is not a little girl and you will be making decisions that alter HER life in the long run so i dont understand the "she is the child you are the "SHE is the child YOU are the adult" c**p!

Answer 7

I think you and your daughter would benefit from speaking to a pregnancy options counselor- http://www.pregnancycenters.org/advantag...  They won't judge.  Find out what resources are available in your area before deciding anything.

<3 Kelsey

Answer 8

YOU WOULD BE A MURDER IF SHE GOT AN ABORTION ITS YOU CHILDS FAULT AND SHE SHOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES!!!

Answer 9

The decision is really up to her.  In my opinion, an abortion is probably the best decision, and then some hardcore s*x education and birth control.  But ultimately, she is the one that gets to choose.  All you can do is support her.  What's done is done.

Answer 10

This is a time when she needs her parents to stand with her with whatever she chooses, she made a mistake but **** happens, and if you told her about teen pregnancy sooner i don't think it would have stopped anything, my mom had the talk with me more than once i did lots of research and such, and i told my mom if i wanted a baby and if i wanted to have s*x nothing would stop me and i got pregnant at 13 i did not ruin my life i am still in school and i am planning on going to college to become a L&D nurse and i will do it, i am not going to let having kids young stop me, i love my children and i  don't regret anything!

Answer 11

: O

Answer 12

I would let her make the decision and support her in whatever she chooses (abortion, adoption, keeping it).  If she chooses to keep the baby, you will probably be very responsible for raising the child as well.  Another blessing would be to give the baby up for adoption, since many couples cannot have children of their own.  Now would be the time to talk to her about all her choices and explain how each choice will impact her in her future.

Answer 13

Well the decision to keep the baby is on her and the father,so make sure you dont make her do anything that she doesnt want to do! i think you should now talk to her about teen pregnancy and what she should expect.but most important be supportive no matter how angry you are. and dont blaim yourself, everything happen for a reason. She can be sucessful in life she just alot of help and support,but its possible!

Answer 14

Her "career"? o.O

Isn't she in school...

Why don't you ask her what she wants? You can't make her get an abortion and you shouldn't have waited to talk to her about s*x. Just because she is a good student and is nice, doesn't mean she isn't having s*x.  

Answer 15

well that is really big. that is one of the biggest decisions to make in life. first of all if she gets an abortion yes the baby will not be there anymore but that is something she will NEVER forget, that is really hard to deal with later you cant take it back. or she can have it and give it up for adoption there are many wonderful families out there who would love a child. again she will not forget the baby either. or she can keep it and you all can help raise it. there is only 3 choices and all are very hard. you have to do what best for all of you. most of all her. good luck to you.

Answer 16

You would've used protection.  

Answer 17

oh gosh no let her keep it!!

dont kill the baby..imaigne if you would have aborted her! =/

not trying to be rude but its true her baby deserves to live!

well maybe with the baby she will learn responsibility!

the dad will get mad but at the end will love the child once its born.

evry one loves a kid..mostlly everyone.

watch the movie "junno" if it helps lol =]

good luck!!

Answer 18

YOU don't have a choice in this, mom.  It's completely up to her what she wants to do. The best you can do is discuss her options with her, so that she is aware of her choices. If she decides to have an abortion, then be supportive.  If she decides to have the baby and put it up for adoption, then be supportive.  If she decides to keep the baby . . . then it might be time to have a reality talk about what you are and are not willing to do to help.

Tell her father, and then arrange to sit down with the boy's parents and discuss the problem with them.  The boy is  just as much at fault as she is, you know, and both sets of parents are at fault for their lack of supervision. They are going to be angry that "she didn't use contraception" (ahem, neither did he, apparently), and they are going to be frightened that you will press charges for statutory rape and child molestation.

Good luck *sigh*

Answer 19

What does she want? What about the dad of this baby ? My mom made me give my baby up and I was 19, still living at home. And I have HATED HER and my Dad every since that day it will never change.n Oh and since then I cant have kids they took my family from me and now I have nothing ! Is that what you want for your daughter?

Answer 20

Let her have the baby and raise it yourself. It's your grandchild. How will this ruin her "career"? She's a child.  

Answer 21

Please don't kill a baby.

Answer 22

Ooh, that's not good at all... I'm sorries that happened to you and to her.. She's so young too, but it's really her choice if she wants to keep it or not. Maybe both her and her boyfriend can raise the child and become a good family. I'm sure she has your support too so she could continue to go to school while you watch over her child. She can also put it up for adoption once she has it so she wouldn't have to take care of it. There are many nice families who would love to have to adopt her child! You should try talking to some families who would love to adopt!! I hope all things work out very well! A baby can be very stressful and she will have a tough time.. you should try talking to your daughter about what she wants to do these are all just some suggestions... Good luck!! And next time try and bring up s*x and talk about it so this won't happen again!! And it's probably best if you told your husband, maybe he even has bother suggestions on what to do.. good luck again!

Answer 23

At this moment in time you need to tell your husband and he needs to be able to control himself (you talk about him killing her boyfriend). Now is not the time to be angry at the boyfriend it is just as much your daughter's fault as it is his. Your daughter needs your support at this time. Personally I believe that it may be best to get an abortion right now but not after the first trimester (after that I think you had enough time to decide on a course of action and if you haven't decided to abort by then it is best to keep the baby because it is more developed.) You, your husband, your daughter, the boyfriend, and his parents need to sit down together to talk about a resolution, this is an issue that you face together and now is not the time for harsh feelings toward one another. I wish you the best of luck and hope that everything turns itself around.

Answer 24

Well first of all, I would say that you shouldn't MAKE her choose anything.  You should give her all the options and consequences, and help her to make solid, well-informed decision.  Perhaps, she doesn't want to do either.  Maybe she would be interested in putting the baby up for adoption.  This is a big mistake for her, but it doesn't have to ruin her.  She could keep the baby and still be very successful, though I am sure she would need quite a bit of help from you to do so.  I would also make sure that she is better informed for her future decision making regarding her sexual practices.  

Answer 25

watch "The Secret Life Of The American Teenager..."

Answer 26

i think u need to explain all of her options and the consequences of each and let her make her own choice. if u force her to have an abortion she could wind up reseniting u for the rest of ur life.  

Answer 27

DON'T get an abortion. That isn't even your decision to make! I'm fifteen and have a 13 month old daughter. My girlfriend pressured me and I gave in. I always got good grades, I was an overall good kid. My daughter's mother left after two months and wants nothing to do with my daughter. So I know how she feels, in a way. If she doesn't want the baby, then give it up for adoption. If she wants to keep it, let her keep it. Just support her and be there for her. Support every decision she makes, and give her all of her options.

Answer 28

first of all jocelyn is right you are a murder if you would persuade your daughter to get an abortion!!! and a girl her age shouldnt even be having s*x and hello its called a CONDOM! why else did they invent them.

Answer 29

abortion...

it's not for HER to decide. she is a CHILD. YOU are the adult. do what is best for EVERYONE involved

keeping the baby will destroy her life! and it hasn't even fully started yet! and it'll be that much more stress on you and the rest of the family.

high school is hard enough, and now she has to go though as another pergnant teen? how terrible!

also, don't do adoption. that will really mess her up emotionally.

good luck

also...abortions can be up to $1,000 depending on income. look up planned parent hood for help

Answer 30

YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PARENT FOR NOT STOPPING THIS FROM HAPPENING

SHAME ON YOU

Answer 31

dont get an abortion........let her keep it, if she gets an abotion it would scar her for life that she took a life away. everything happens for a reason...the baby that she kill could one day save countless of human lifes...find the cure for aids or even become president....it is sad that she got pregnant but it is not the end of the world....with the help of God she can get her life back on track or even if u dnt want to take care of the baby u can give it up for adoption.......think about it what if ur mom abort u?...............there are many people in the world who cant hav babbies ur daughter is blessed and is goin to be a mother .............be a good mother by showin her how to be a mother.....with the help of counsellin and therapy u can get through this......do the right thing and keep the baby there are lots of  teenagers who get pregnant each day she is not the only one...nor the first and not the last...save a life plzzz