My 14-year-old daughter slapped me?

Question

during an argument last night. It was time for her to turn her TV and computer off and go to bed. She didn't want to close her computer and, when I tried to, she open-handed slapped me. I tapped her back on her face. What should I have done or do now?

Answer 1

Well if you don't usually use corporal punishment then apologise to her (it sounds stupid but it will gain her respect) and say that you try not to use violence because you don't want her to either - setting a good example.

Then for a punishment. Take away her TV and computer priveliges, if they are in her room then while she is at school take them out of there and lock them somewhere where she can't get at them, let her know that she can have them back after a certain cold turkey time (I suggest 2 weeks). Then introduce rules for when she can use them. I might have this wrong but can't you get some gadget that automatically shuts off the computer at a certain time and it then can't be switched back on until another specific time (which you set). Maybe you could investigate that...

I hope this helps!

Answer 2

ground her for about 3 weeks, and if she argues, 1 month

Answer 3

Ground her.

I was fourteen once, not that long ago and when i was angry with my family, i just relied on my friends. Heavily. All girls do.

Ground her for two weeks.

School, then thats it. Nothing after school. Not even "studying" with friends.

2 weeks seems good punishment to me.

DONT give in, or she will keep treating you like dirt.

&let her know that if she sneaks out or doesnt come straight home from school, you'll go and find her, and the 2 weeks starts all over again. Except, now its 3 weeks.

She'll learn, it might take a long time, but its worth it!

Answer 4

dont let ur kid push u around take her computer and TV for a month

i was raised by my grandmother and she was a baptist and she would of beat me shhhhytless if i did that...u gotta establish dominance da next time she slaps or even raises a hand to u slap the tast out her mouth.......

u can also take the other approch and call da copz n let her spend a few days in juvee anyone of those will work

Answer 5

at that time i would've beat her down threw her out the door and closed it. she probably would've continue act up but after so long she would been knocking on the door to come back in. but i would let her know she'll have to get it straight on next time ain't no coming back.

you should let her know its not going to happen again and she's going to respect you or she's going to be out.

if you don't give some kind of threat (ex:punishment, a beat down) not necessary mean you're going to do it they will continue to try you cause they know you're not going to do anything.  

Answer 6

don't you wish there was such a thing as Parent Services like there is Child services, then you could just turn her in like she would turn you in if you slapped her, lol.  

Answer 7

  I would not apologize to her. That would just teach her that she got away with it. And that you felt bad for hitting her. She will use it agianst you.

I would ground her. The person who talked about being grounded for 2 weeks and if they broke the rules there time would start over again but it would be for 3 weekws. Good Idea. I never hit my Mom but she punished me like this for something and it worked.

But whatever you do DONT apologize.  

Answer 8

i would NEVER slap my mom. so disrespectful

Answer 9

Made sure it was a hard slap, one that she would remember. What you should do now is talk to her about it. Disconnect her computer for a week. Hitting your parents isnt excusable no matter what the situation maybe. Also let her know that the next time should it happen, you would knock her out and pay the medical bills after and if you can't you'd get someone who will. Don't create a monster and don't be threatened in your own home. At the end of the day, she's still your baby and you have to do what's best for her even if its banging her up abit. Don't abuse her but don't be taken advantage of by a 14 year old. How do I know? I did that to my mom, she laid me out cold. Was scared $hitless of her but do i hate her nope. I love my mom cause if she didn't do that I may have went on to become a bully that my parents couldn't control or anyone for that matter. I'm grateful for what she did when I read in the newspaper and see what I could have becomed. Yes its punishment (unplugging the PC) but don't forget to tell her you love her also. So that there is a reason behind your actions, you want what's best for her.

Have a great day :)

Answer 10

GROUND HER IM 14 aswell and that is not allowed she needs to grow up and get back to earth

Answer 11

What the f**K is wrong with all you sissy a** parents today.

QUOTE from first poster:"Apologize for retaliating with violence"  ---- If you do this is are freaking fool.

I'm not for little time-outs and grounding. My children know not to step out of line. If one of my girls ever slapped, she would have been on the floor faster than she could spell "slap".

The problem with children today and their out of control, wild behavior is because parents are wimps.

I

n the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, when almost every household spanked and hit their children -- they didn't have today’s problems with the youth.

But now the parents want "the corner", children are getter wilder and wilder.

Pick any bada** kid in school or wherever and look at how they were raised. 9 times out of 10 the bad kids were the ones with the wimpy "go to the corner" type parents, while the decent, and rule following ones learned respect and discipline

And don't give me bullshi*t about how "hitting" causes more problems.

NO it doesn't. My children are all honor roll, on their way to college and have not been menaces to scoiety. And are not rude disrespectful people.

Answer 12

I am 14 and i would never EVER hit my mother! That is totally rude and disrespectful. And if i did ever hit my mum like that she would kick me out the house, lol!

I think that if your daughter hit you over something as trivial as a stupid computer then she clearly doesn't respect you. People don't slap others that they thing are in a higher ground of authority. Don't appologise! Your not in the wrong and she knows that.

If i were you i would confiscate her computer. Or take away the internet on it so she cannot E-mail her friends or go on websites she can only do homework on it. Then you should ground her for a length of time you think is suitable - like two or three weeks? If you think that she has earned the rights to her computer/internet back then you can give it too her. If she is still sulky and violent, then keep it confiscated for another month :)

Answer 13

u have lost all respect from ur child

u should have slapped her back HARD

Answer 14

OMGosh, if I slapped my mom I would be grounded for like, ever. I got spanked when I was a kid and I misbehaved and I think that it helped me to be more respectful and stuff. I agree with MamaBear.

Answer 15

i'm sorry but at the same moment i would had beaten her almost to death, no kids of mine is going to slap me for a computer, i think you should ground her and take away all her stuff

Answer 16

First thing's first:  Apologize for retaliating with violence.  Admitting you reacted out of anger and you regret it is a very positive example to set for your daughter.

Second, establish the proper punishment for her behavior.  I would advise taking away computer and television privleges for 2 weeks.  In this way, the punishment fits the crime.

Third, reinforce how you expect her to treat you and slapping is not an option.

Fourth, lay out the consequences if she is to either disobey her punishment or slap you again.

Answer 17

And she's still standing?  :-)

An open-hand slap to a parent is a bad sign of severe disrespect and feeling superior.  No one EVER slaps someone if they feel that the other person is higher in authority.  

I think that Miss Slap-Happy needs to find out what it's like to not to be able to go anywhere, do anything, and be without a TV, computer and cell phone for an entire month.  She would be SO grounded, and scrubbing the bathrooms daily with a toothbrush!  I don't care how many times she says she's sorry -- she should be a LOT sorrier when you're finished with her.