My 14 year old wants to live with her father?

Question

My 14 year old daughter wants to live with her father. Same state just different sides of town. I'm not sure how I should feel about it. I feel a little like a failure, still i do know she probably feels she needs him right now. They have year-round school there right now and I'm not sure if I should tell her that whenever she wants me to pick her up to just call me or if we should do a scheduled thing.

Answer 1

Its her choice, we can long be with them...they grown up so fast

Answer 2

I think that you should let her live with him for a while maybe..so she doesn't become more and more reluctant towards you.

Did you ever read the story about the girl whos' mom wouldn't let her live with her dad so she stabbed her mom to death?

I'm sure your daughter wouldn't do that but yea, you should tell her if she ever needs you to do pick up or something you are there

Answer 3

talk to her and ask her way. you didn't fail her, she may just need him now. don't sorry you sound like a good mother

Answer 4

Don't feel like a failure, teenagers are fickle and always think the grass is greener on the other side. She may get there and a few days later want to come home. The custodial parent usually does the majority of the discipline and therefore has to be the bad guy. Once her father has to be the bad guy she'll think differently.

Answer 5

I moved to my dad's house across town when I was 13.

Don't make her feel guilty.  That's number one.  My mom did that to me, and it made me pull away from her.  She would always say something about my decision, and never respected that it was a very hard decision to make.

Has she told you why she wants to move?  Try talking about it with her, but don't be too pushy.  My mom was very pushy, and my main reason was that her and my sister fought way too much.  Also that she did not keep the house as clean as she should, and I did not like her boyfriends.  I couldn't tell her that because she thought it was because my dad and stepmom made more money than her, or that they lived in a "good" part of town.  I didn't tell her the reasons until 3 years ago when I finally blew up at her for something she did.  It was in an e-mail and not the best way to go about it, but anyway.  Talk to her about her reasons, but respect her if she wishes not to share.  Make sure she understands that you are a little hurt, but you want her to be happy, and that she doesn't need to feel like she is "picking" her dad over you.  Make sure she knows that you love her, and she is welcome to your house whenever she'd like.  I don't know if you will have scheduled visitation, but if not, just let her know that she is welcome any time.

I would go with not having a scheduled visitation.  You are her mother and she should be able to visit you whenever she'd like.  Also, as she gets into high school, certain weekends will be taken up by activities and stuff, so you want to be able to work around her schedule.  Maybe ask her to make room in her schedule to have a weekend visit AT LEAST once a month, and more if she chooses.

You are not a failure.  She probably has good reasons, and trust me.. I doubt it was an easy decision for her to make.

I wish you all the best.