My 14 yr daughter snuck out with 17 yr boy, chugged tequila, he wanted s*x, she was too drunk to remember?

Question

She stumbled in drunk in the morning. Got a lot of information off her cell phone about their hook up. She had just met the guy.

Called the boy. They both denied having s*x. Later she said he asked her to. She had puked and blacked out.

Gave her the morning after pill. Collected her clothes to check for s***n and DNA.

Her dad let her sleep out in a tent and didn't take her cell phone even though I asked him not to let her do it

Dad cried, now he's talked to the guys in the office and thinks its normal.

She lost cellphone, internet, is grounded.

What else should I do? VD check? What can I do about the boy?

Answer 1

I think you are doing some things right as a mom. I used to do stuff like that when I was a teenager but my mom was not there for me. talk to your daughter seriously and try to find out why she did it. it might be to get attention from you, or just rebellion. explain to her all the dangers of what she is doing without being mad and tell her you love her and want to protect her. if you just punish her she will probably do it again because you are not getting to the root of the problem. maybe she has emotional problems like depression or something. as for your husband it sound like he is trying to avoid dealing with the situation. you can talk to a therapist that specializes in teens and have them talk to your husband. if your daughter is doing this when she is 14...you have some rough years ahead and you need professional advice. as for the boy, I would let him go, it is your daughter that matters just keep her away from him.

Answer 2

get a std tests done on her and get her a pap smear and the doctor can tell you if she is sexually active.

Answer 3

Oh my....

Call this guy and tell him to stay the h**l away from your daughter, perhaps talk to his parents as well to fill them in on what he's been up to.  Put her on the birth control pill, and take her to the doctor to get checked out.  Chances she didn't do anything, but it'll scare the h**l out of her having to wait for the STD test results.    

Answer 4

You can tell her she is not allowed to make even simple decisions take away her clothes and you decide how to dress her she will hate that,

  If you can contact the boys family I would let them know that you will prosecute, and make sure they are aware that he was drinking with a 14y/o girl.

I would also talk to the parents of her friends, and let them know their daughters could also be at risk.

  

Answer 5

Talk to your daughter. Explain to her how serious her actions where and the potential consequences of those actions. Even if she didn't have s*x, if things like this continue with her, she could end up pregnant with no memory of how it happened. She may deny having s*x with the boy, but if she was drunk enough to black out, then she was probably too drunk to remember much of what happened that night. Try and get your daughter to understand how serious this is. I doubt she wants to be a mother at age 14.  Not only the s*x, but the drinking and sneaking out too. It's important that she understands exactly why she is being punished and that she understands the dangers of the choices she makes.

There's probably nothing you can do about the boy, unless your daughter did have s*x and is pregnant. I'd say your punishment is fair, but you definately need to talk to her. And take her to the doctor, just to be safe.  

Answer 6

It is unfortunant that our kids are getting younger and younger when they start having s*x and drinking. You did the right thing by grounding her. She should have consequences for her actions. Take her to the doctor, get a STD panel run and put her on the pill. The pill or shot, doesn't mean you are saying she can have s*x, it says if she continues with this behavior at least you won' have a pregnant teen on your hands. We can't stop them and most of us know that, we just like to think we can. You know your daughter, if you think this is just the beginning of her problems, or this has been on going, get her into counseling before she becomes addicted, and is out of control. Once she turns 18 you can't do anything she an adult no matter how she acts. Be the one to try and help her without embarrassing her or making her feel like you don't like her. Yeah that's an easy job for us, huh? Good Luck!

Answer 7

You were right to havee grounded her, and I think you should take her to the doctor to check to see if she received an STD (in case she DID have s*x). If you see that boy, then you need to have a serious discussion about what happened, and if he purposely got her drunk in order to have s*x with her, then you need to notify the boy's parents. Your daughter might be telling the truth, but if she was drunk and did not remember anything, she may have had s*x without realizing it. You need to have a discussion with your daughter about the dangers of s*x. Ask your daughter if she remembers how the boy wanted s*x with her: was he pressuring her? If yes, then he raped her. Maybe your daughter did not want s*x, but she was drunk and doesn't remember getting raped? Not saying it happened like that, but it could theoretically be possible. I wish you and your daughter luck.  

Answer 8

Unfortunately he is only 17 so I don't think you can get him for statutory(sp) rape. BUT i think you can take her to a clinic or something to find out if she had s*x with him or not. and at least get her HIV/STD /Pregnancy tests to make sure that she is okay in that area. Good Luck and stay strong! You did great as far as grounding her! Keep your head up!

Answer 9

I think you need to talk to her about the seriousness of her actions.  If you have friends with young or difficult children, make her care for them for a few days to see how much work it is, to deter her from acting that way in the future.  Take away something she was looking forward to (i.e. a trip, party, etc.)

Answer 10

well dont let her see the guy at all. home school her that way she can't see him at school. ground her from leaving the house unless she is with you or anyone else in the family. and make sure she has no phone or internet access because those are both very easy ways to contact anyone.

Answer 11

If that guy had s*x with her, then it is rape of a child.

She should have had a rape kit done on her as soon as possible.  STD tests now, and again in six months for HIV.

It is not normal for a 14 year old to be drunk and have s*x.  Just because others are doing this doesn't make it right.

It is so sad that JR high kids are alcoholics and have abortions.  Parents need to be very concerned.

Answer 12

unfortunately nothing since he's 17, don't know what your state laws say. plus he's not yours. but as for her...DON"T EVER LET HER OUTSIDE TO SEE THE SUN AGAIN!!! if it was legal i'd beat it into her how dangerous it was for her to act so immaturely.  

Answer 13

In my opinion you should  discontinue further punishment and forget about the boy.  You do have a major problem that you did not mention.  You have a 14 year old daughter sneaking out of your house to chug tequila with someone she barely knows.  I think you both need to see a counselor.  I am thinking there has to be a reason why your daughter feels a need to sneak out and from the way you described your reactions to the situation I can see where she might have an issue telling you or explaining herself to you.