My 15 month-old is afraid of toddlers, what do I do?

Question

Every time my 15 month-old is around an older toddler she gets really defensive and pushes and screams at them. She fine around adults and older children, but not around toddlers. It's really tough to have a play date with other mothers when she does this. What can I do to?

Answer 1

It's normal for them to feel more secure around older kids and adults, and it's normal for them to feel threatened by kids their own age.  The best thing to do is to hang out with kids the same age, and teach them that it's not acceptable to hit, push or scream.  Teach them to share.

Answer 2

She is letting others know that she is the boss.............you have to teach her that this is not appropriate. Every time she does that, hug the offended toddler, tell them you are sorry and ask your daughter to appologise as well. You are her model. Also, you need to keep explainning to her why she should not push or scream at other kids. The more you talk and explain the better.  

Answer 3

It's completely natural for children this age to be weary of each other if they are not used to being around other kids their age all the time like they would be in a childcare setting.  At this age, kids normally prefer to be around older children and adults, the best social interaction that you may get with kids this age is having them play side by side although not together. It is just too early for social concepts like sharing and taking turns to really come into play here.  

It is good that you bring her around other children though and it is important that you continue to do so so she can observe how other children act. When she pushes or screams, it is best that you remove her from the situation and tell her that we do not yell or scream at our friends. She may not get the concept right away but she'll catch on that that behaviour is not socially acceptable. If you catch her starting to get edgy when around other children then divert her attention elsewhere. While it never hurts to encourage socialization don't push her into unwanted play with other kids it'll likely come back to bite you through her screaming, pushing or other unwanted behaviour.

Don't get discouraged she'll come around, it is just a stage. In a few months to a year she'll probably turn out to be a social butterfly!

Answer 4

When in that situation, i think it's your responsibility to use some discipline and a firm voice. When she starts to act out towards another toddler, you need to be firm and tell her NO. If you allow her to do it she will continue to do it. If she were around a cousin her age, it's normal and they'll patch it up quickly. Yet if around other children her same age, you will have to train her to play nicely with the other children. It may hurt you to do it, but it's for her own good.