My 15 year old daughter ran away from home. She is in my mothers care. what can i do??

Question

My mother has care of my 15 year old. But I am currently fighting thru the courts system to get her back, but my mother is extremely stubborn. Since I had my newborn she has been getting in all sorts of trouble. She just ran away from my mothers and is staying with an Aunty. What can i do legally right now. Its a bit of a hairy situation but I am very concerned for my daughters safety. I tried to get an interim order because I had a feeling she was going to run away again, as she ran away before. But they dismissed it because she is 15 and should have her say. She lives in Sydney and doesnt want to ove like any 15 year old. But i need to do what is best. Even if its not what she wants. But is there away to get her back Urgently as she has run away?

Answer 1

She has not run away....you know exactly where she is, the police can't help you at this point, it's a civil matter for the courts to decide.

Answer 2

She needs attention abd you should give it to her.

Answer 3

well im a 15 year old male and i dont no much about the laws and **** threw court but what happend to my friend they brought him in2 the court and they said who would you feel safe living with and who would u want to stay with and would u run away again if u were with there ppl so my friend got called to the stand nd his uncle ask these qustions and his abusive parents lost custidy and the son was happy... so my point is if ur going to court anytime soon ask her or ask the judge to ask her what would make her happy and were would she like to be

Answer 4

Sydney as in...Australia?

In the US, kids are legally allowed to run away.  It sounds crazy but is absolutely true.  They only break the law if they don't go to school-are truant.  If a kid runs away on a Friday afternoon, they usually have freedom for that weekend.  If they don't go to school Monday, they can be picked up by the cops.  Now, if they run away yet STILL attend school, they are breaking no laws.  The cops can go to pick them up, but they have no legal right to make the kid come home.  

Answer 5

well you need to get your daughter back. she is not beyond the law and she cant run around like a stray. i tell you what if that were my daughter she would be in so much friggin trouble.....anyways, getting heated up wont solve anything, sorry.

to be honest with you, this is partly your fault. your lack of parenting and your husbands lack of parenting if you have one, is appawling. a teen does not get to the point of liberty to run off on tangents as she pleases, all on her own. you GAVE her the freedom to do it. she has not been disciplined enough to obey you. she obviously doesnt respect you and she needs to be disciplined and trained. regardless of what people say, a teen is still a child and needs all the guidance they can get.

in saying that, she is also old enough to know right from wrong and what she is doing is being a rebellious brat and there is no excuse for that.

now my question is...WHY did she run away from home? if the reason is not because of abuse, neglect or absentee parents, then I would say she is just jealous of the baby, having trouble with friends and boys, and feels like you dont understand her. in which case you need to talk to her and let her know you are willing to listen to her concerns. you want to talk to her like an adult. you want to treat her maturely and hear her out. she will appreciate that and you will learn more about her and what the problem is. you could try to organise meeting her in a cafe or at a park so she wont feel threatened or like she will be forced to stay at home

unfortunately you cant drag her by her hair home. id like you to coz its probably what she needs lol but obviously that wont work. You need to build a relationship with her. she can just be your kid. you need to know whats going on in her life, how she feels about things. she needs parents who are at home when she gets home from school, at least one. she needs a mum who will hear her out and give her life advice. she needs a friend and a mum who she can respect.

the first step is talking to her. your still mum and your in charge of the household and your children, so she needs to get her act together, but also, go get some help. go get parent counselling. it will really help you alot. dont beat yourself up too much, it takes two to get things this messy. just realise that it goes two ways. youve made mistakes, shes made mistakes.

if you tried to get her back, theres not alot you can do. if she gets herself in trouble then so be it, she might have to learn the hard way and come crawling back, and when she does, welcome her with open arms. youll end up closer.

talk to a professional about this. call a helpline or look up councellors or call her school and ask to speak to her teachers about her school life and behavior. if you dont know why shes gone stupid, you need to find out. be an active mother. get involved. you have a right to know whats going on with your child. have you got her friends parents numbers? call them and ask about her. whats she gets up to over there, have they noticed anything different about her.

you never know, her issues might have nothing to do with you. it might be boy trouble or something. but she is rebelling against you coz she doesnt know what else to do. you need to talk to her, tell her she is welcome home and that you want to help her and talk.

she will eventually come running back. there will be nowhere else for her to go.

i will be praying for you and your daughter :-)

Answer 6

I think that she needs time. She also needs you to understand that she needs her space. She is fifteen and at this age they want to be independant. It also seems to me that she is going thru something and she keeps running away from it. Why don't you just give her time then try to speak with her. She must really need you know but is to stubborn to ask. Just be there for her as much as you can. If she wants to stay with relatives so let her stay with them. It is better then a friends house or the streets. Where you won't know where she is or what she is doing. Just give her time. Talk to her explain that you understand that she needs time to herself. Thank your mother for being there for here. Time is all she needs she sounds like a good girl but just going thru something.