My 16-month-old son is biting, hitting and pinching me when he is frustrated/angry. Any suggestions?

Question

My son is normally, and for the most part very well behaved. He is absolutely adorable, has a beautiful spirit and a very cheerful disposition. However, since he was about 6-months-old he has been biting me, normally on my shoulder or my finger. At first I took it as just a part of teething and would try to give him something else to bite on. As he got older I began to verbalize my pain with "OUCH" and " NO BITE" and "THAT HURTS MOMMY". I was not yelling, I just had a stern tone, no smile on my face and I was not laughing. It has only been getting worse and instead of just biting he is now hitting and pinching me as well when I take something from him or tell him "No".

Luckily, it seems to be only me and not other children. His day-care provider assures me he shows no signs of anger or rage while he is with her, and has never bitten, hit or pinched another child. This is both a relief and a bit of a discomfort to me. On one hand I am glad he is not biting other children, on the other I am confused as to why he seems to take ALL his anger and frustration out on me. I am a single Mom. He sees his Dad on Wednesdays and Thursdays every week. I am not sure how he behaves over there or if they allow him to get away with things that I do not. I am not very strict with him, but I am not going to raise an aggresive, physically abusive little boy. I believe that time-outs are appropriate for this type of behavior.

I am looking for any advice on how to deal with the biting and encourage him to deal with his anger in some other way. I swear sometimes its like living with a baby shark! He bites hard. It leaves bruises and sometimes breaks the skin. Also, do you think it's weird that he only bites me and nobody else. I am not a mean Mommy and I am very loving and supportive so it hurts that he seems to be lashing out at only me.

Answer 1

tell him to stop

Answer 2

Is there a particular time when he actually does it? like coming straight back from his dad or just happens in general. I was thinking maybe it could be a  thing where he actually misses you and upset at you for leaving him behind.

The timeout is a good way of doing it just tell him to sit in the corner if he does it, to tech some self control . Try also contacting your local baby health clinic and tell them your concerns as they might give you some better advice too.

Answer 3

super nanny!

Answer 4

time outs were the only thing that worked for us. We did it to remove her from her situation rather then a punishment. All children do it and it has nothing to do with you. He cant talk so he cant express his anger to you. tell him that it hurts and then put him in a time out. Get a special little seat just for time outs and a kitchen timer. I would put him in a time out for a min and a half. When hes done give him hugs and kisses and say he did a good job and you love him. Then explain to him again why he was in a time out. Our daughter doesn't really hit any more and shes 19 months, she started at around 15-16 months.

Answer 5

I think this behavior has gone on long enough for some reason your child believes that hurting you is acceptable behavior. Ive seen poor moms like you in the grocery stores with the kid that everyone is staring at after hes bitten or smacked the c**p out of you. Do us all a favor and spank him while you can. I dont mean ABUSE him I mean immediately after he has physically hurt you take the hand that he has hurt you with and if he hit you on the arm hit him on the arm and tell him NO LIKE YOU MEAN IT!!  And make sure its enough to hurt him a little and shock him and when he comes in for the hug dont give it to him until you tell him clearly in the eyes that no!!! you do not hit mommy.    

Answer 6

Talk to his dad and see if he acts that way with him. He may be having problems with his teeth. Since he is so young he still probably has a hard time telling you whats wrong. Next time he hits pinches or bites you say "ouch that makes mommy sad" get up and walk away from him leaving him by himself. After about not even 2 minutes he will start to feel bad and will come over to you. Don't say anything to him until he stops crying or hitting etc. Get down to his level and ask him if he is ready to be nice to mommy? Ask him for an apology. Continue to do this until finally he will realize that you mean business and will stop. Hope I could help!

Answer 7

It sounds like he's mad at you for something. you have to remember that he doesnt know how to tell you he's mad at you because......whatever the reason. Try putting him in time out for only 1 minute (they say a minute per their age) and when you bring him out of time out, get down on his level and tell him why he was in time out and then tell him you love him and hug him.

Here's a thought, do you think the daddy could be telling him bad things about you? If you had a nasty break up or arent on good terms maybe there is something on that end. I dont know but It definitely sounds like hes acting out for attention or he's mad at you....maybe he doesnt like it at his dads and is mad at you for leaving him there.

At 16 months he may be able to tell you if he likes going to daddys if you ask him.