My 16 year old daughter....?

Question

has a history of lying. she has lied to us about being at work, when in fact she was with a 19 y.o. man whom we have forbidden her from seeing. she said nothing happened & she said she wants to run away and living anywhere else is better than here. her lying is out of control & i feared she was headed down a path she didnt want to travel. i dont know what he told her, but she swears nothing happened between them. i took her to the e.r. to be evaluated for psych issues & she was admitted. was that wrong of me?

Answer 1

well it wasnt wrong of you but you have to remember she is a 16 year old kid who is rebelling from you. Normal behaviour, not psychotic but you have let her get the upper hand and she has no respect for you as a parent now.

Dont give up on her. You have to put your foot down with her. Big time grounding. school, work, home, thats it. you have her taken to work by someone. as for the kid. have chit chat with him, tell him if he goes near your daughter again, you will have him arrested and charged for statutory rape.

Answer 2

I would go to a family counselor instead of taking her to the ER. Depending on where you are the age of consent might be different. I know here in NY it is 16. However she still is living under your roof and you still have control of her. I would confront this so called "man" and see what is issue is and why he is hanging out with a 16 year old. Tell him to stay away from your daughter and maybe consider getting a restraining order against him you can prove that he is causing your daughter harm because of her being admitted. I know I told my parents so many times that I was going to run away and one day my mom called my bluff and packed only the things I purchased and sent me on my way. Also she is 16 so take away her keys if she has them and start driving her to the places of where she is going to be. Such as work and home. I would limit her until she can start telling you the truth because if you have to lie about where you are then you must be ashamed of what your doing or who your with. Hope I could help a little.

Answer 3

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE WAS ADMITTED....

Answer 4

I think that yes, you went too far by taking her to the ER to be evaluated over seeing a guy. Obviously the fact that you don't permit her to see him is making her lie and want to run away. Maybe if you sat down with her and had a serious conversation about this boyfriend you'd feel better about letting her see him, which would probably stop her lying issues and the distrust you have of her.

Unless he causes major problems, I don't see why you don't permit her to see him. Clearly she's old enough to date him and if he makes her happy, why not let her be with him? Giving her what she wants as long as it's within safe and reasonable boundaries should cause your relationship to strengthen.

Answer 5

you sent your 16 yr old daughter to a psych ward because she lied about being with a boy?

eh..yeah kinda wrong!!

do you remember being a teenager any lying to your parents about where you were going??

every teenager does it. it doesn't mean they have psych issues.

Answer 6

OMG how does she have psych issues???

so are you saying every 16 year old in the world has psych issues if they lie about going out with a 19 year old BOY? If you dont let them do something of course they are going to lie to you about it! Im sure you have done it before..

she doesnt have psych issues... u do.

Answer 7

Uh yeah.. she is 16 years old from god sakes.. when are you gonna stop holding her hand.. Your daughter is a teenagers.. not a child and teenagers have s*x, go to parties, drink, smoke pot, ect.

even if you tell her No! i bet she'll do it anyway

Answer 8

Alright, that was not wrong with you and it sounds like you are doing a fine job raising your child. If she lies, she gets a punishment and you suspected something wrong. You care and love her so that was fine if you wanted to make sure everything was alright. Maybe talk to a psychiatrist about this.

Answer 9

Don't know about the wrongness or rightness of going to the ER but I suggest you invite the 19 year old young man over for dinner with the family and get to know him.  If he's a jerk it will probably be obvious and your daughter will see what a loser he is.  If he's honorable and decent maybe he'll see his mistake of seeing a girl whose parents forbid it.  Treat him like an honored guest and go from there.

The more you tell her no the more she will rebel.  She needs a reliable outsider, (favorite aunt?) to talk to without being judged or harshly advised.