My 16 year old son wants to stay at his girlfriend's house, what do you think?

Question

My 16 year old Ryan has been dating this girl Jess for a year. He's asked if he can stay at her house when her parents are away. He's stayed over before but her parents have always been there. Should I let him go?

Answer 1

Are you fu*king kidding me? I don't know who's more to blame anymore. The kids or the f-in parents.

Answer 2

He's 16.  It's legal.  If they don't like it, it's down to them to not let him stay over.

Answer 3

It depends on how sensible they are and how much you trust them.

If they are going to be "getting up to stuff" they'll find a way regardless of whether they have the house to themselves or not, but if it's other stuff like like being alone in a house and not having any mis-haps with the cooker or anything, only you will know yourself if they are ready.

If he's a sensible 16 year old, and you knew you could get hold of him at any time and vice-versa, then I would probably let him.

Answer 4

Well you know what's going to happen, so perhaps ensure that he has condoms.

My mum walked in my room and dumped two bags of condoms on my table.

It was embarrassing but it was a big help.

Try it, let him know your there for him and you would be very disappointed if he got his girlfriend pregnant. Then he'll avoid it. Kids need a kick up the a** sometimes!

Answer 5

Let him go there at least you know were he is so let him go but make sure he is gone before her parents get back

Answer 6

well if you know they're having safe s*x and your okay with that let him go but talk to her parents first and make sure it is okay because ofcourse you wouldn't want her parents to flip out on them

Answer 7

why dont u tell him that your unsure her parents would like it and say they can both sleep at your house and your go out for a couple of hours and give them sometime alone, fairs fair

Answer 8

Yes let him (I'm assuming his girlfriend is 16 or over other wise I wouldn't allow it).

If they are then stop worrying - Its legal.

Answer 9

Well i a now 17 and my parent...grandpearents let me stay at my boyfriends house. I think all you can really do...since you alread kno that they are having s*x is tell them to be safe.

Answer 10

have you asked him if her parents know? Maybe you could speak to them yourself. The thing is, if he doesnt spend the night there, he'll probably spend all of his time there anyway and just come home when he has to.  

Answer 11

no, it doesnt sound like a good idea, but whether you let him go now or not, you already know they are having s*x, so what would be the difference? If her parents don't know, they are naive, but that is not your fault.

Answer 12

Make sure they tell her parents that Ryan is staying there then I would say let him go.

If they go behind Jess's parent's backs then it will become a situation because the trust has been broken there. This may result in her parents resenting your son and that will put a strain on your son and his girlfriend's relationship.

I can't see where the problem would lie with them not being their though. If has been saying over her parents must know that they are sleeping together, just because no-one else is in the house doesn't mean that they will suddenly stop using a condom.

My Mum used to let my boyfriend stay over when I was sixteen and we never had s*x at that age we just liked being close at night. It makes a big difference at that age to know that your parents trust you enough to let you make your own choices.

I hope it all goes well.  

Answer 13

Its a hard dilemma, but if he's stayed over when they're there and they've left her on her own they must feel she's responsible enough. Do you feel he is? If so I don't see why not. If they're going to be getting up to anything romantically speaking legally they're both old enough and lets face it, if they want to be together they could do it in the day anyway even if you didn't allow him to stay over.

On the more innocent side of things also she might be scared and not want to stay in the house alone.

Just read your edit, if her parents don't feel she's mature enough to have him stay over they shouldn't be leaving her alone.

Have you considered letting her stay at your house?

Answer 14

Seriously, let him go. He's sixteen as you say, as is she, and you know they re being safe with s*x, so its not like they re going to be getting up to anything you don't already know about. Her parents will have some sort of inclination as to whats going on, and if not, how would they find out anyway?

I'm sure they wouldn't do anything as daft as leave a condom wrapper on the floor! lol. - and if they do...so what? That's one less secret from her parents!

Your son is sixteen, and therefore a young adult. They re both at the legal age to have s*x and they both have their own opinions and minds, so her parents should realise that no matter what you say or do, your son and his girlfriend will just do what they think is right anyway. Her parents shouldn't pin the blame on you.

If you don't let him go, he will just resent your decision and only do it behind your back anyway. - and hey, at least he asked you first. - That's something to be counted for. If you let him go when he has actually asked you, - instead of sneaking of him having to sneak behind your back and doing it anyway,  then he will know to ask in future. It kinda creates a more open parent and son relationship. For what its worth I think your son respects you an awful lot, If he didn't he wouldn't have asked your permission. :) He sounds like a good kid. So just trust him on this. :) x

Answer 15

It's not so much of a big problem if your son is a mature person, aswell as this girl he is dating.

If it doesn't sound all that good to you, just thinking well, they will have s*x, just don't let him stay round there. The choice is yours, your the parent.

Answer 16

He's 16, in the UK this means he's legal. You should let him.

Do her parents know there having s*x?  

If you don't you'll probably find that he will say her parents are going to be there when there not next time so he can sleep.

Answer 17

As he is sixteen, he can basically do what he likes. The fact that he has told you about it, makes him seem fairly mature. The grown up thing to do would be for him to clear it with her parents-it is thier house afterall. I would be really upset if he felt that he couldn't ask you such a thing and went behind your back, possibly telling you that he was going elsewhere with his mates.  

Answer 18

does that really SOUND good to you?

Edit: like one of the answerers said, this is a joke. what parent would be ok with it, and not tell the girlfriend's parents?

Answer 19

Is he mature? BC this is a big step for him to be over a girls house when there are no parents there. Why don't you tell him to invite her over your house. That way, you can keep an eye on them.

Answer 20

Personally i think you should ask how the parents of the girl feels about this, after all its them that will be left with the most sleepless nights of worry over any pregnancy scares.

Im pretty sure they respect she's getting older and hope she would be sensible but none the less would'nt want to make it too encouraging, convenient and easy for them either!

I think i would be inclined to still expect my son home in his own bed, yes they are probably doing it anyway but at least i would'nt be seen to be openly encouraging it.

Answer 21

I expect you are worried about the s*x thing. I personally believe that even though the parents have been home when he has stayed over, your son and girlfriend have already 'done it'. Maybe you should let him go on the one condition...the condition that he listens to you about the risks of STD's and the chances of pregnancy. The condition that he be mature, sensible and to take precautions if him and girlfriend play. Perhaps giving him a pack of condoms would encourage him to think about the risks and will probably respect you for it, albeit maybe a little embarrassed.   This is just an option.

Answer 22

nope

i don't think that teenagers ought to be having s*x anyways - safe or otherwise

i think you are irresponsible in allowing him to do it with or without her parents oking it

true love waits after all!

Answer 23

I really don't understand why you would even think this is appropriate.  It isn't.  

Answer 24

why dont you suggest they stay at your house

then you can keep an eye on them

hope i helped ?

x*x

Answer 25

Say it is alright as long as his parents say it is OK then no blame comes on you, because that is what you are worried about.

Answer 26

Ask the parents yourself? If they're already away, they should have a mobile number you can contact them on? Ask your son for it, or his girlfriend, and make that the condition to let him go... Or let her to come to yours instead?

Answer 27

I know exactly what I would do - considering you're comfortable with them sleeping together, I'd say to him, "Okay, you can go BUT if her parents find out, I'm feigning any knowledge of this at all!" Basically, you agree now but deny any knowledge to his parents if they find out.

Answer 28

Personally, i say no.

Yea, okay fine he's legal and such. But even when using protection, pregnancy can occur. Condoms CAN split, and it's VERY easy to forget one pill (don't know if your sons girlfriend is on it :s).

Either way , this is just like asking them to have s*x.  I'm 16 too, but my parents would NEVER EVER let a guy sleep over without them being here.For me , i'm saying no just out of principle. I was brought up to know  that no guy is to "stay the night" at my house  untill i pay my way around here, and even then i have to be over 18.

Answer 29

If her parents are not going to know about it then I don't think that it is a good idea because there might be pretty bad consequences for her if they find out. I would say as long as her parents say it's okay

Answer 30

so you want to be a grandma huh? no. no no no. i would never let my child stay at a boyfriend or girlfriend's house regardless of if the parent were there or not.

Answer 31

yeah let him go.

like sarah said, h**l just end up doing it behind your back anyway

and besides i dont see much difference if the parents are there or not.