My 16 yr old WONT listen?

Question

why doesn't my 16 year old listen? He smokes weed, steals from others< lies, & cuts school. Told him to leave if he wants to, but the door is locked behind him. THERES NO COMING BACK! what do i do? Hes still here & i cant kick him out, what he does still is my resposibility till hes 18, right?

Answer 1

Choices you have, REHAB, sit with him at school and follow him around every where he goes and if he embrasses you so what. He needs boundaries and you need to stick with them. You let him come and go but His your responsiblity so go threw his stuff its your home. BE TOUGH and show him you love him. IF he wants to be treated like an adult then he needs to get a job and stay in school. IF NONE Of that works get him away from his friends and home school him through a  charter school. Look your son is crying out for help nip it in the butt now or you will pay later. And yes you will pay for any damages he does because he is under age. Spend time with him and get to know him. If all else fails send him to job corps so he can go to school and a job trade.....

Answer 2

He won&#039;t listen because you are no parent. If he can&#039;t respect you, why should he listen to you. Your son needs your help, instead of tossing him away, get him some help.  

Answer 3

I have a 14yr old that don&#039;t want to listen no matter what i do nothing works he don&#039;t smoke or cut school but he wont listen to the teachers been in peak like 20 times he is respectful to me just don&#039;t do what he suppose to do...........His father lives in another state so i put his azz on greyhound and sent him to his father&#039;s and told him( the father) i did it for 14yrs he have the last 4.......... but if he&#039;s stealing smoking weed and cutting school call the cops punish him take thing away do whatever it takes and if u tried everything and he still wont do right then you do what you have to do..............hoped i helped a little

Answer 4

go getCHINS (Child in Need of Services) petition on him what state do you live in?? See if your state has a program like this.

Answer 5

send him to a military school

Answer 6

yes, but he will eventually get caught, so just let him learn the hard way. maybe some time in jail might straighten him out.

Answer 7

hit him till he listens, or, if you prefer a non-violence way, then give him no dinner and lunch

Answer 8

He does it because he knows you&#039;re not going to do anything to stop it.  Warn him that the next time he breaks a law (smoking pot, stealing, etc) you&#039;re calling the police...and then do it.  Sometimes a little tough love is a necessary thing.    

Answer 9

he is doing it because you are allowing it... if he is smoking weed, call the police.

if he steals, call the police.

if he lies and cuts school.... punish him...

START BY TAKING AWAY THINGS HE LOVES MOST!!!!!  HE TALKS BACK, BYE BYE POD, OR COMPUTER ETC ETC ETC, YOU GET MY DRIFT... be a parent and get his kid under control BEFROE IT&#039;S TOO LATE AND HE WINDS UP IN JAIL!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

My son was the same way. I tried getting help from different organizations but no one wanted to help. I did the only thing I could do to get him the help he needed, I had to turn him over to the state so he could be sent to a place that helped him deal with his issues and he got the counseling he so badly needed. He is now 29 and a totally different person than he used to be.

Your right, you can&#039;t kick him out either. My son kept running away and the last time he did it, social services were threatening me with child abandonment because I told them not to bring him back! He was 16.

Answer 11

That sounds like my nephew. He is around the same age &amp; gives my sister a hard time. What she does is she just takes things away. Grounds him &amp; doesn&#039;t let his girlfriend over. ETC. G&#039;luck

Answer 12

The fact that the kid is doing drugs and stealing means that it has already gone a lot further than you probably realize. You have an addict on your hands. Take him in for a urinanalysis. Find out what he has been getting into.

You also need to put deadbolt locks on your bedroom and closet doors so there will be at least one more layer of resistance when his stoner friends decide to burglarize the place. He will eventually spill the beans on what all you own and the location of your house while he messed-up is at some party. This isn&#039;t a &quot;maybe&quot;... this is only a matter of time. You might as well plan for it.

You cannot be friends with your children... you can be their ally, but not a friend. You have to be the parent, which means you must use every method at your disposal to instill the values in your children that will help them to be successful in life. They cannot navigate our society without morals, ethics, responsibility and respect.

If that means instilling respect by means of a well aimed slap on the face or a doubled-up belt across their behinds, then so be it. If you have to take away prized possessions (computer, I-pod, video game), or ground them, that is fine. You do what you must to get the point across. Try to keep in mind this phrase: &quot;what would have gotten through to me at this age?&quot;

Your 16 year-old is not too old or too big to spank or ground. If you have to get macho with him, then fine. It sounds like he needs a knock in the head to make him sit up and take notice. Have a talk with the school counselor and make it clear that you desire to put a halt to his rebellion... get them on your side. You can even arrange it so they can even take urinanalysis for you at the nurse&#039;s office... weekly (worthwhile even if you have to pay for it). You want them to call and leave a message on your cell phone if he misses one class. Get ready to go find his f***y, or get ready to change the locks on the house so he cannot get in.

Start with an intervention type talk... spell out what it is that he is doing that is not working, and what you want him to do, and what you will do if he does not abide by your rules. You need to spell out the rules so there is no question.

You provide for all of their needs, so while they are under your roof, the kids must obey your rules. They must go to school, keep their grades up, do their homework, pick up after themselves and do whatever chores you ask of them. If they will not comply, the door is that-a-way. Make it clear that if he wants to stay in your house, he will have to abide by the rules. You have to handle these little insurrections hard and fast. Your 16 year-old is long overdue for some tough love.

The parents who leave the parenting to the school system and the kids&#039; peers, will indeed reap what they sow. They will spend more time hauling the kids to rehab clinics, bailing them out of jail, and probably supporting the little rats into their 30s.