My 17 year old daughter had a stillborn baby girl on August 9...what more can I do to help her?

Question

We are all heartbroken of course.My daughter is in grief counseling,and I try to help her as much as I can.There are times recently that she seems in denial a bit...can't bring herself to visit the baby's grave,etc.What can I do as a mom to really help her??

Answer 1

I don't think there is much you can do for her...she needs to grieve and get over the loss. Time is what she needs.

I am so sorry for your loss and hers. I can't even begin to imagine what she must be going through.

edit: to the first answer - you are lucky you are behind a computer. No matter what age the person was, whether it was planned or unplanned, pregnancy changes your life. To carry a living baby and then come home with nothing is just one of the worst things i could imagine going through.

Answer 2

my sisters baby died at 3 months old...we had to be there for her.....and u just have to be  there for her...have her create some sort of memorial to her baby....a scrap book of things during her pregnancy....have her get involved with support groups....if she doesnt wanna see anyone face to face, there are plenty of groups on the internet that my sister is apart of...its very hard and will take huge amounts of time to even touch how she is feeling....just be there for her though...shes gonna need you

Answer 3

i am so sorry for your loss. I agree time will heal but it will take a while. This would be the same as if you had lost her... that is how she is feeling right now probably. I don't blame her for being a bit in denial, i know that if anything happened to my baby i would be in denial as well. I would say the only thing you can really do right now is be there for her. Give her as much love and attention as she allows, and give her time. Also if she is still in highschool maybe finding a way to post pone going back to classes..... it is very hard to concentrate when you are grieving. Good luck to you and your daughter and again, sorry for your loss.

Answer 4

It's obvious that you are a caring Mum, and just being there is the best thing that you can do at the moment.

You daughter's reaction is quite normal, and I'm pleased that she is getting some counselling.  She may also need some antidepressants to help her, check with her doctor.

Perhaps something positive to remember the little girl would be nice, like planting a tree with pink blooms.  That tree could be a living memory of her little girl, and she could go there to have some private time on the anniversary of her birth.

Time will make the hurt less, but the memory will never go away.

Just let her know you love her, and be there if she needs you. x  

Answer 5

I just went through this with my sister in law they let her go 2 months past her due date and the baby ended up passing and to make matters worse I found out I was pg right after it happend

well me and her are very close so the only thing I can say for YOU to do is nothing ler her do what she wants don't pressure her to go to the grave or talk about it ler her do what she wants everybody has to deal with greif in their own way my SIL is also in denial (this happend in febuary) sometimes she wants to talk about it others like it never happend so I'm very sorry for your/her loss but just try not to push her she will come to you when she is ready

Answer 6

I'm so sorry for your loss(bless you all) Now from wat i believe is that your girl really needs you, My cousin lost her first to stillborn most saddest thing ever.How she dealt with that is she wrote poems to her child (they were beautiful)All that you can do is let her grieve this is a Major thing in her life and be a shoulder for her just be her mom:O)

Bless you all things will be fine

Answer 7

Wow, I'm so sorry for her loss. I cant even imagine the heartbreak she must be feeling. I'm not sure if there is much you can do, except just being there for her.

Answer 8

All you can really do is be a supporter and a shoulder to cry on. She needs time, its been less then a month. There are many stages to dealing with grief, the first being denial and blame. Just show her that you are there and willing as I'm sure you already are. Take care and hugs to your daughter.