My 17 year old daughter is "dating" a 19 year old... is it illegal for me to allow this???

Question

My daughter will be 17 in less than 2 months. She is "going out" with a guy that just turned 19. She is responsible and very smart. Plus I am VERY strict! I do not allow them to be here together when I am not home, I try to make sure there is a parent at whatever house they are "hanging out" at, he does not have a car so they don't go anywhere alone (I wouldn't allow it even if they did since she doesn't have a license herself!) All they ever do is hang out with friends watching movies, go swimming at our apartment pool, hang around my living room and play video games, cruise around with another couple (one of her girl friends has a car), go to the skate park and go to the movies, etc...

I got a call from my ex husband a minute ago telling me he was pressing criminal charges against me for allowing her to date the guy! Can he do that??? Does he have a leg to stand on at all??? My ex was the one that allowed her to spend the entire Spring break at her old boyfriend's house!!! And his parents weren't even home all the time!!!

What do I do??? Should I be worried???

Answer 1

No he can't press charges against you for allowing them to date... assuming they haven't had s*x yet. It's perfectly legal for them to date but it's illegal for them to have s*x. But my advice to you and your ex is just back off your daughter. She's almost and adult and you say she's very smart and responsible then just trust her to make the right choices.... because very soon you won't have any say in what she does. You sound almost like a control freak about your daughter... and your ex just sounds like he needs to get a life. But to answer your question no there's nothing your ex can do about you allowing them to date. Stop stressing about the situation and allow your daughter to enjoy being young... you might want to try getting a life of your own.

Answer 2

Your daughter is not 17 as you asked in the question, you say she's 16. Techinically if they are having s*x which they probably are it's statutory rape. I think 17 is legal age in most states. Technically you are allowing them to break the law. In actuallity though I don't think it's that big of a deal. They are close in age, both minors, they could go to school together one a Juinor the other  Freshmen and that's pretty common so it's really not a big deal but technically it is illegal in all likeliehood

Answer 3

Nothing illegal about it.

Not that they are doing anything...but you should look into age-of-consent laws for your state.

Very likely she legally needs neither of your blessings

Answer 4

he is full of it the age diff has to be at least 4 years.  

Answer 5

That really isn't that bad. s*x is a no-no for another few years, though.  

Answer 6

Its not illegal for a 17 years old to be dating a 19.  You said it yourself, your daughter is a very smart girl and she will know the different between right and wrong.  

The only time it is illegal is when the boyfriend have s*x with the 17 years old.  That would be rape to the eyes of the law.  Although, it is only 10 months before she become 18 and I am sure that time will come pretty quick!

As for criminal charge, I don't think your ex- have any leg to stand on.  He can file criminal charges against the boyfriend for raping the daughter (if he know they are having s*x).  

Enjoy being the good parent you are and watch the little baby becoming a woman!  It is the brightest thing a parent could ever witness!

Answer 7

he cannot do that, he is only trying to scare you and threaten you because now that he is your ex, he wants you miserable and scared, pressing criminal charges wouldnt be possible (where i am at least). illegal would be something like 17 and 21 which is not as close as 17 and 19, which is only 2 years apart. from my understanding  anyone 17 or under cannot go out with anyone 21 or older, as soon as you hit 18, then you are allowed to date anyone 18-21+, thats my understanding

Answer 8

17 and 19 doesn't seem like a big deal at all. It's just a guess but I don't think he can press criminal charges against you. That just sounds stupid.  

Answer 9

He needs to get a life.  What he did doesn't matter a bit.  Does he habitually go off on flights of fancy?  Very unlikely that you could be prosecuted.

Answer 10

Ok, first off, while many of the answers here are well intentioned, they really have no idea what the laws are.

When it comes to the people around the age of 18 the 36 month rule comes into play.  If he just turned 19, and she is two months away from 17, then they fall into that category.  As long as the two people are within 36 months then they are legal.  EVEN IF THEY ARE HAVING s*x.  Now technically it is illegal to have s*x if you are not married, but it is never charged or investigated anymore.

A person age 16 could also have s*x with an older person with parental consent, which wouldn't apply in this case anyway.  (Notice I stated facts, not opinions!!!!)

Nothing illegal with this, your ex is just causing you to stress over nothing.  Tell him to go mind his own business.

Answer 11

I don't think it's a big age different but I do like the way that you're watching carefully what she's doing .