My 17mo old son throws a bad trantrum anytime he doesn't get his way. What should i do?

Question

I tried time-outs and spanking, but nothing works.. he falls out, and kicks is feet. He throws his toys and even hits his older brother.

Answer 1

Spank his little tail (I'm talking about really good!!!) and ignore him. But make sure you let him know what he is getting spanked for...(he cannot have his way)

Answer 2

Tantrums are frustrating and troublesome for everyone involved.  Here's the best way to make them stop.

You're going about it wrong to be spanking and using time outs.  Your child is tantruming because he didn't get something he wanted, and now he wants to either get what he was originally asking for, or to get attention.  Even negative attention is attention to a child, please remember that.

You need to ignore his tantrum, plain and simple.  When your child throws himself down and beings hitting/kicking/screaming/throwing toys, etc, place him somewhere safe, like in the middle of a room.  You want him away from walls so that he doesn't bash his head.  Any toys that are near him, push away so that he cannot throw them.  Tell your other son to walk away from his brother and leave him be.  Then, leave the room.  (Make sure you do not shut your tantruming child into a room alone in case they need help or injure themselves.)

Wait the tantrum out.  Some children who have had incorrect responses to tantruming like yours have will tantrum for up to a couple of hours at a time.  That's fine, you need to ignore him and leave him be.  Any response from you will show him that he's getting a rise out of you, so he will tantrum louder, harder.

When the tantrum is through, you need to speak calmly but firmly to him.  I know he's only 17 months, but he will pick up bits and pieces of this, especially if you continue to use it throughout his young life.  "I know  that you got mad.  It's okay to be mad, but it's not okay to have tantrums or hurt people."  (When he gets a little older, add in "You need to use your words and tell us what's wrong.")

It works, I promise!

Good luck!

Answer 3

The best way to handle a tantrum is very calmly.  I have found that if I just tell my son "I said no, and that is it" and then basically ignore the tantrum, he  calms down quicker.  I started this around 17 months and now he is 2 and when he starts a tantrum and I say "I said no, I'm not changing my mind" he just goes on about his business.  Just be consistent with however you decide to handle the situation.  Keep trying time out.  Only keep him in time out for a minute or two.  If he hits his brother, hold on to him, get down on his level, look him in the eye and tell him "no, we don't hit" and then ignore the rest of the tantrum.  Basically, any acknowledgment of the tantrum gives your son the result he is looking for-your attention.

Answer 4

I recommend against spanking at 17 months old.  Prior to their 2nd birthday most children will not be able to associate the pain from the spanking as punishment for the misdeed.

Answer 5

I have a 17 month old who rarely does this but when he does he hits his older brother also and kicks and screams.  I just take him in his room and put him in his bed, I have to repeat a couple of times but after about the third time he quits and stays in his bed until I come in there.  Then he smacks his lips for a kiss.  It is hard at this age because they are just now learning to test boundaries, but for us it is getting better.  Spanking doesn't work when they are this young because they really don't know any better.  We have to teach them and personally when you ignore their fits they learn that this isn't going to their way.  It is a rough patch and will be for the next two years.  They don't call it the terrible twos for nothing but just stick to your guns and it will all work out.  Stressful but worth it.

Answer 6

Pick one form of punishment and stick to that.  If you keep flip-flopping back and forth it may get confusing for him.

Answer 7

Ignore him.  He wants your attention and the time-outs and spanking are helping him get it.  Separate the boys if the hitting continues.