My 18 year old cousin is engaged. i want to support her but i feel that she is 2 Young. what should i do?

Question

the guy she is engaged to is 19. they have known each other for 1 1/2 years now. he has a lot of emotional baggage and she is just starting her first year of college. not to mention he has cheated on her. she's looking to me for advice and i dont kno what to say.

Answer 1

Tell her to think about all the possibilities, of everything that could be good, or the worst things that could possibly happen.  I got engaged when I was 17 and married right after I turned 18, since she knows that he has cheated on her before, there is no guarantee that he won't do it again.  Can she trust him FULLY?  I'd tell her that you support her, because you want her to be happy, if him and her are financially stable enough to start out and not depend on parents much and can trust him fully then tell her to go for it.  Sometimes it works out better that way then waiting.  Mainly though, you need to tell her exactly what you feel, you feel that she is too young, so have her think twice.  She may not listen to you fully, even though she is asking for advice, I didn't listen much to hardly anyone.  I realize now though that I should have.   Good luck.   Hope I helped some.

Answer 2

It's not your decision or your responsibility. They will figure it out on their own with or without you. So just be quiet and support them always, and spend as much time with them as possible.

Answer 3

tell her that she outta finish her college education before thinking about marriage and if he loved her he would undersrtand and wait .......

Answer 4

Say you do not feel comfortable with them being age already and at that age especially as a he has cheated on her and has baggage...give our cousin your honest opinion please as you do not want to regret it later on...

Answer 5

beat some sense into her

works every time

Answer 6

The worst thing you can do is tell her what everyone else is telling her--that she's too young.  She'll only rebel and not come to you for future advice. :-(  I'm sure that's the last thing you want!!!  You'll need to give her some advice that will allow her to come to that conclusion herself.  You can mention that people change as they get older, and you're not usually who you will be in your life until about age 25 or so.  Let her know that you will support her, but that she might have a rough road ahead of her, and that she'll have to stick it out.  Encourage her to finish college because going to school as a married woman is rough!  And who knows?  Maybe they are planning a long engagement...let's hope!!!

Answer 7

you're not doing her any favours by not giving your honest opinion when she asks for it. Tell her you're worried for her. Ultimately people need to learn on their own tho and as much as it may hurt you to watch it, just make sure you're there for her when she stumbles.  

Answer 8

The say It To HER ABoUt EVerythINg becAuse tHis IS 4 her GOod & DoN'T leT heR marRIed W d YoUnG AGE shE has mANY do In her FUtURE u KnOW  

Answer 9

I know people that have got engaged young and I think it's silly too, I'm 18 and one of my friends is engaged atm and another friend was engaged and nearly got married but she cheated on the guy! All you can do is mention how you feel and then it's up to them, you can't force them not to, it's basically make them aware of the possibility that it'll not last long and then it's up to them to take your advice or make their own mistake! but ya never know, it might last!  

Answer 10

one thing to say: once a cheater always a cheater.

bad idea for her to marry him, i just know that after the marriage..he will cheat on her..one of those days

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 11

is she in love? has he done everything possible to make up for cheating on her? has he cheated since then? was the cheating in the beginning? if she wants to marry someone she loves... then that's up to her... maybe suggest that they live together during their engagement to make sure they are compatable at home. but it is her choice... no matter what.

Answer 12

Support her anyways. Be there to listen. She probably has alot of people telling her she should not get married, she does not want to hear it from you. Underestand she can make the decision.

Answer 13

Just remind her that he cheated once he'll do it again. And tell her "I'm gonna have ta say I told you so huh?"

Answer 14

sadly there is little that you can do, if you tell her she shouldnt, it could ruin a relationship with her, if u let her ruin her life, then she will be in pain after they get divorced.

Answer 15

she is too young.  that being said, it's not you that's getting married.  go along with it, and she'll learn.  she'll be a divorcee within a year, and probably pregnant.  

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, "Shila".....learn when NOT to hit the Caps Lock key....

Answer 16

just remind them not to get pregnant too early

Answer 17

Just tell her she needs more lovers before she ties the knot