My 18 year old got engaged tonight ?

Question

my 18 year old son got engaged to his 18 year old girlfriend tonight there been together for 3 years i must say I'm a little shocked there both great kids and very responsible both in year 12 planning to go to university my question is how would you feel react if it was your 18 year old i just want to add im very proud of my son hes a top kid im just a little shocked

Answer 1

Yes I have to say that the age would stress me out too, but hey..this is when my Mom and all her friends got married.  Sometimes you get those characters that are high school sweethearts and get married and stay happy forever...I reckon those are the meant to be ones...if there are any out there.  The fact that they have been together for 3 years, must say a lot too.  I think I would be proud of him too...I mean just hanging around on yahoo and seeing some of the young children floating about and what they get up to...its scary (sorry kids).  Your child shows commitment and responsibility.  I pray my children share those same values one day.  Good Luck ;)

Answer 2

wow! um thats great that theyre both good kids and that hes been in a stable, (hopefully healthy) relationship. If i were you I would welcome this with open arms even though it is a huge shock especially at that age. (Especially since you like his girl, that is a huge bonus!). But i would put in a clause that they cant get married until they finish university. let them focus on school and not marriage and all that comes with it.

congrats honey! try to relax and enjoy that your baby is all grown up!

Answer 3

The best thing to do is be happy for him.  To be honest, hes 18 so its completely out of your hands now.  I got engaged at 19 and my parents were a bit surprised, but happy for me none the less.  I got married 5 months after getting engaged, went back to college, graduated and we are moving across the country next month for a job opportunity I was offered.  Young marriages can work and can still allow you to achieve your goals.  This is a very important momnent in your sons life the the best thing to do is support him through it.  You dont want to miss these moments liks some parents do because they dont agree with their childs choices.  

Answer 4

Be happy for them and encourage them to have a long engagement and at least wait to get married until they finish school.

But it sounds like they have level heads on their shoulders and may have already figured that out. :)

Answer 5

It's totally normal to be shocked as any parent would. I would support them and let them know you are proud of them for stayin in school and continuing their education while staying together. Just keep letting them know how much school is going to help them in the future and you are proud of them. This is not uncommon.

~MLF~

Answer 6

I would be troubled by it, but realize as a legal adult it was his/her decision to make and they'd have to learn as time goes on if their choice was a good one or not.

I married at 19...it wasn't a good decision. My mother never said a negative word to me though, because she knew at the time it likely wouldn't have changed anything. Seven (rocky) years later, we separated.

Live and learn.

Answer 7

Well, my sister's best friend ended up marrying  her middle-school sweetheart, and now are in their 30s, with three kids. They got married at 26 yrs old. I wouldn't worry too much, just request that they be respectful of their educations, which should come before they marry, so when they finally do have a wedding, they can start their life together on the right and stable footing.

Answer 8

Well personally, I'd be happier to know that he is ready to settle down and be responsible, rather than sleeping with anyone he meets whilst out clubbing. If he's happy and in love, then I think it's fine x  

Answer 9

He has been with his girlfriend for 3 years, so it's not a new relationship.  He is young, but that doesn't mean he isn't in love.  Encourage a longer engagement, but don't discourage the marriage or you will have one without you there to share in their happiness.  You already know her, and know they are good together, or they aren't.  Either way, support him in his choices.

It sounds like your son has his act together and is responsible.  He is making good choices with his life, and maybe they will include his girlfriend.  Just be supportive, but encourage them to hold off on the actual ceremony to give both yourself and her family time to save up for the wedding, get them closer to done with college, and plenty of time to plan the perfect ceremony to celebrate this momentous occasion.

Answer 10

He sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders, though I can understand your surprise.

I got UNOFFICIALLY engaged when I was 18, although we didn't tell anyone about it until he proposed again (when I was 20) and gave me a ring. I can therefore answer your question from the perspective of an 18 year old and as a 24 year old (which is my age now)

Whatever you're feeling about the engagement, please be careful in the way you're dealing with it -

* Don't tell them they're doing the wrong thing. If they love each other, then it will probably work out

* Don't tell them they're too young for marriage. They probably know that, and probably intend to go to uni or get settled first.

* If you don't think they're old enough, encourage them to have a long engagement. We've been officially engaged for 4 years already, and we're getting married next year.

* Support them with every part of it. They're legally adults, and you want to show them that you see that.

* Get excited with them. Share the dress fittings and visiting the venues, because that's what parents shoudl be there for.

My parents didn't handle it very well, and that was when I was 20! They didn't know he'd already proposed when I was 18. If I did tell them; they would have gone nuts. At 20 they still thought I was too young, and instead of telling other family members, they were in denial. Many people still don't know after 4 years, so I have to go around telling them all myself, even though they're talking to my parents every week. I felt awful about the lack of support we were getting, and my mother still says "are you sure about this?". We've been together for 7 years already, and we're as solid as a rock. Both of my parents openly admit that they can't think of anyone better than my fiance, but they don't like that I'm getting married before 30.

It may be hard, but it means so much for them to have their parents behind them.

Answer 11

I would let them know that you would prefer them to have a long engagement - it'd be best if they graduated college and had full-time jobs before getting married.

But honestly, the odds of them staying together through college are slim so you may not have much to worry about.

Answer 12

well my youngest married a women my age and she was nothing he dated in high school.  so after raising two boys, nothing gets me any more.  good luck and let it be

Answer 13

Encourage a long engagment, but other wise i think it is great news-congratulations.

Answer 14

I'm 19, Engaged, Been With My Fiance Almost 6 Years & My Parents Were Happy For Us When We Told Them.

We Aren't Getting Married Right Now, We Are Getting Married In 2012.

Obviously, Your Proud Of Him, But Why Not Just Make The Suggestion That They Wait A Few Years Also.