My 2/1/2 son wants nothing to do with his dad anyone else have this problem?

Question

his dad has to work 12 hr days and has done the same thing since he was born. He got laid off for 4 months and him and my son got so close he did everything with his daddy now that he has went back to work and its just me my son and our new baby all day. When daddy does come home my son wants nothing to do with him. I feel so bad because he works so much so that i can stay home with the kids. Why is my son doing this? Will he ever get over this? Or will he hate his dad for working so much for ever?

Answer 1

This may seem crazy, but your son sounds like he's in the Oedipal stage. Look in Psychology books for a better description, but it comes from the play Oedipus, where the son marries his mother and kills his father. Basically, the complex is where girls get attached to the Dad and boys get attached to the Mom. Not wanting to kill anyone like in the play, but a very jealous stage. Where the boys want only to be with mommy. They don't like dad and don't want dad to even hug or kiss the mom. Same with girls and dads. They want the same-s*x parent to just 'go away'. You can look it up in psychology books or online, but that's what it sounds like. Yes, with your husband working a long shift it may be a touch of security, but you're there every day and you're just closer to one another, but that shouldn't affect how he feels when dad gets home. I do know that they usually pass through the stage to where boys LOVE dads and girls want to be just like the moms. But I don't know if there's anything you can do to speed up the process. I really doubt your son will hate him forever for working so much, just because he's 2 1/2 and his memories aren't engrained forever. If he keeps acting like that or gets very hostile you can always call a local counselor in the area. Try calling a local college or university professor of psychology or in the child care departments. They usually have the latest treatments and suggestions to offer. Hope it helps!!

Answer 2

He probably feels deserted from him, He will get over it. I think that your husband should probably spend as much time as possible with him when he is off, not at home-he should take him to the park or out for walks or something like that; you know, quality time just for them. That would help let the child know that he is still going to be there for him.

hope this helps

Answer 3

Don't worry about it.  My little girl is just the same with her dad.  She'll spend a day with him quite happily, but as soon as I get home he is in the bad books and she won't let him near; he can't cuddle her or kiss her or even pick her toys off the floor for her.  It's really hard on both of us, but we both think it's just something she has to work through.  

Try to arrange things so that they have time together, just the two of them, and let it run it's course.  

Good luck.