My 2 1/2 year old son cries everyday when I drop him off at daycare, what can I do?

Question

I just recently started taking my 2 1/2 year old son to day care. My mom and dad were watching him but my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago so is no longer able to care for him. My son has been with them from day one so I understand why he misses going to thier house. But every single day he cries as soon as we get in the car and cries the whole way to daycare and then cries when I drop him off usually putting up a fight to the teachers and cries sparatically throughout the day. He's not used to being around other kids except family so I think it's really good for him to be there and it's not like I can help it anyway I am a single mother that has to work. But it makes my morning very stressful from the time we get up till the time I drop him off. What can I do for him to get him used to going and make his day better. Any suggestions welcome.... please

Answer 1

My son is 2 1/2 also, I'm a stay at home mom, he still has issues when I go to the store alone or even outside without him (when dad is home obviously), theres a major case of seperation anxiety going on, perhaps that is what is going on with your son too.  I have an older daughter, and I was a single mom when she was little.  She use to cry, tell me she didn't like the kids, etc..., it broke my heart, but I had no choice, she had to go to daycare so I could work.  She would cry in the mornings and at quiet time for me.  By the time I would pick her up in the evening she would be mad at me because I wouldn't come get her earlier to play.  Its hard for them to adjust to a change, and sometimes it takes a lot longer than you think it might.  I was lucky enough to work near the daycare, I just spent my lunch hour there with her.  It helped, she knew mom was coming to hang out right before quiet time, and she got use to seeing me during the day, it made it less stressful for her.  Good luck

Answer 2

I know the feeling sweetie. It is very hard on him making this big adjustment. Small kids dont like change a lot so he is trying to deal with it. Believe me he will get over it eventually try talking to him about it make it seem exciting. Also drop in on the school and make sure everything is on the up and up. It usually takes two weeks for a child to adjust to anew setting.  Good Luck Mommy

Answer 3

I am going thru the same thing.  As long as you trust the day care, then just keep doing it and he will be fine soon enough.  However, sometimes, if the day care is not nurturing, etc., then the child will not like to go.  You have to stop in unannounced from time to time and not at the same time everytime.  Change up the times you pick him up even a few mins could make a difference.  They should have an open door policy (if they don't, then get your child out of there ASAP).  The idea is to see how they are with him when they are not expecting you to be there.  My friend's daughter cried everytime she went to her day care and as she was leaving one day, she heard a teacher telling a kid that he had to stop crying for his mommy because she had nothing to do with what goes on up in here.  well, she told the director, and took her kid out.  She found another one and her daughter loves it now, so who knows what they were telling her when my friend wasn't around.  Obviously they were not nurturing.  Most likely, if he has been there for awhile and continues to cry, he is doing it for your benefit hoping that you will give in and send him back to be with grandparents.  You are right.  It is good for him to be around other children.  GL and HTH!

Answer 4

You take him to where he has to be, drop him off, say good bye (give him a kiss) and walk away.  YOU are just going to have to get over the stress.

Answer 5

It is a tough transition for kids to go through.  They don't understand why they all of a sudden aren't with their family, but kids have this knack of adjusting relatively quickly to situations like this.  He will start to make friends and want to go.  I know my daughter did the same thing but she eventually made friends and now it is all she talks about is what this kid did or that kid.  The just need time to adjust.  It is tough for kids to be away from their families when they have grown so accustomed to having them there when they need them.  But he will adjust, just give it time.  There is not much else to do I am afraid :(

Answer 6

My wife and I have a daycare of our own and we see this type of situation all the time. Your son is going through an adjustment period  and trust me when I tell you he will be okay and enjoy the daycare he is in. I tell all the parents to talk with them prior to dropping their child off,tell them you will be back,see them later and never sneak away when you drop them off. It is hard in the beginning, then all of a sudden they can't wait to meet their friends in daycare. As long as they now you are coming back they adjust,some take longer but they all adjust. The crying will stop.

Answer 7

Does he cry the whole day, or is he fine 5 minutes after you leave?  Ask the provider how he's acting during the day.  If he seems fine once you've left then he's probably fine.  You didn't mention how long he's been going to daycare.  Did he just start a few weeks ago?

My 1 year old whines a little bit before I leave her at daycare, but it seems to make her feel better when I play with her and the other kids before I leave.  I try to keep her occupied before I walk out the door that way she's busy playing with her friends and won't even notice me leaving.

Yeah, I'm at the daycare for about 5 or 10 extra minutes but its worth it to make my kid feel comfortable and not to see her crying before I leave.

Answer 8

Honestly, ignore it. It may sound harsh, but if you pay attention to his cries, then he is getting a response from you. Any response is better than no response. It will stop, my daughter cried when I dropped her off, I hugged and kissed her and said goodbye. With in a week she didn't cry anymore. I know it is stressful, but if you react with stress, it makes it more stressful. Just go through your morning routine and he will start to understand that tears are not going to change anything.

Answer 9

I feel your pain and I'm sorry. I just had the same ordeal. First my in-home daycare husband and wife were turned into CPS for touching one of the older girls inappropriately, which scared me to death and broke my heart. I really trusted and felt comfortable with these people. Then my mom and stepfather were caring for my 20 month old when I found out that he is an alcoholic, so I put my child in a daycare around the corner from my work.

My daughter cried all the way to daycare yelling for her grandma and cried and screamed all the way in the daycare and I could hear her as I walked out the door. They couldn't even feed her breakfast there because she was so unruly. We have been going there for almost 8 weeks now and just yesterday we drove without crying and she went to her teacher hesitantly, but without screaming her head off. Today she did good too. It just takes time. I promise. I would also give her a little prize at the end of the day, like a cookie or coloring book, if she was a "big girl". I really talked up being a big girl and not crying at "school" blah blah blah. Now that she is doing better she knows she is being a big girl and she talks about it all the time. Good luck!

Answer 10

give him love