My 2.5 month old son started day care yesterday and I am so upset?

Question

So, after months of trying to find the right person to care for my son while my hubby and I work, we chose to send him to Kindercare. It's a new facility within walking distance from my house, the enrollment is low for the infant room still so my son would get extra attention and there were other reasons we chose that route over having someone come to the house or bring him to an in home place. Anyway, we both HAVE to work right now because finances are so tight. Today when I went to get him I was devastated. The worker was feeding him even though he shouldnt have been eating for another 2 hours. I questioned her and she said she didnt know his schedule yet, the other girl didnt tell her so she just fed him ( it was only 2 hours afterhis last feeding and he goes every 4). The other little boy was face first on the mat b/c he fell off the boppy pillow. My son had been in a new outfit and the girl didnt know why. She said she didnt know that he was changed, but you would think the other worker who was there in the morning would have told her why and also when he should be ready to eat again. He was in a onesie without his blanket on him and it was cold in there. In his crib was his pacifier and I asked her if he was really fussy and thats why she gave it to him and she said no she just did. I told them all and wrote on the bag that he only gets it if absolutely necessary. His onesie was wet and she said she was sorry she must have spilled a little water on him when she changed his diaper. If I ever walked in and saw my son laying face first on the mat I would pull him out of that facility so fast they wouldnt know what hit them. I was so upset. I actually picked the other little boy up and helped him because the worker was cleaning a crib. She didnt seem concerned at all.

This place was highly rated and recommended, and I told the director as I was living how unhappy I was. She said she would talk to the workers.

What should I do? I am scared for my son and thought that since we cannot be with him that this was second best. My family and my hubby's family live out of state and we dont know anyone else who can care for him because they all work or its not something they are interested in doing.

Any advice

Answer 1

Ugh, that is a tough call.  Your son is so little, and only has you to advocate for him.  Is it possible to take some sort of leave from work, until you can find a better daycare situation from your son?  Do you have any vacation/sick time stored up, you or your husband?  Is there any member of your family or your husband's that could fly out and temporarily help you out until you find better care?

Do you think the situation at Kindercare could be remedied?  Do you think its worth sitting down with the director and going over in detail your concerns?  And see what she suggests other than just "talking to the workers".

I can only say what I would do.  I don't care how highly rated a daycare is.  If I had any concerns about the care of my very young baby, I just couldn't continue going there.  Even if they said they would resolve things.... I don't think I could take that chance.  While nothing that happened with your son is "life threatening", just their general non-knowledge of your son is concerning.  Its hard for me to say if its something that was just a first day kind of thing, if they need more time and it gets better...... but my advice is trust your instincts.

I wish you the best of luck!!

Answer 2

wow that sounds unorganised but im sure running a centre with several children gets hectic. Maybe having someone come to your house so your son gets one on one attention would be better.

Answer 3

Oh my gosh!

if i were you i would definitely find another daycare center, especially since leaving the baby face down like that could have killed him/her!

i also feel really bad for that child's parent's having to deal with that

also, if you left specific directions that your child was only supposed to have a pacifier if absolutely necessary and she gave it to your child anyways, that shows that they can't even follow directions and definitely should not be taking care of someone else's children!

good luck and sorry this happened to you

Answer 4

Well, that's pretty much what daycare is like for the wee ones. It is kind of depressing, but when the ratio child/worker ratio 4:1 or 3:1, stuff like that is going to happen. They do the best they can, but you're going to have to expect little things like that to happen. Also, I think some of the slip-ups have to do with the fact that he is new. How long have you had him in there?

I wouldn't be worried about your son's safety. I think you're probably feeling guilty about leaving him. It is heartbreaking to see that he isn't being cared for the way you care for him. But he will be taken care of. You have to give them a break. And trust me, you'll feel MUCH better about leaving him once he has bonded with his caretakers and they with him. =D

Answer 5

Honestly, I would highly advise finding a nanny or a home daycare. In theory, daycare facilities seem enticing with supposedly low baby to caregiver ratios and modern amenities. But, you have to look at the fact that there are varied care givers, obvious little communication and not too mention a cesspool of germs and communicable diseases everywhere in your son's daycare. I'm sure that you did a huge amount of investigation and interviewing, but, IMO a home environment is always best for a young infant. If, you aren't comfortable with your situation, then, I would advise doing more drop-in visits and require the staff to keep a personal log of feedings and diaper changes. If, it does get worse or you don't see things improving---then pull him out!  

Answer 6

I think the best thing in this situation is whether or not you truly feel safe leaving your child at this facility.  In the end, you want what is best for your baby.  Since this Kindercare place is so perfect and you really must go to work, I would continue using it until you have found a place that is more suitable.  Give the place another chance and perhaps this was a once-in-a-blue-moon occurrence, especially since you said this one had such high ratings.  If you find that the problems continue, then I think you must indeed look for a new facility.  Hope this helps and everything works out!

Answer 7

I am so sorry to hear this has happen to you and your little guy. Sadly to say but this happens ALL the time. I worked with five different day cares and one academy before having my two boys. I vowed that I would never put my children in day care. Every single time I quit was because I couldn't stand the way my coworkers treated the children or that the standards of the day care were horrible. I have seen care givers throw stuffed animals at children learning to walk. They kept score and earned points for knocking the children down! They never read any of the information that the parents left. And lied about their daily charts. They swore in front of the children and even to them. Hit or held their mouths shut, you wouldn't believe the things I saw. Well things got tight for us financially. With my experience I knew that I could work at any day care. I thought if I worked there and could check on my son it might be different. I was so WRONG. They hired a new girl to work in his room. The first day she worked there she took the class (12 months to 20 months) out with the after schoolers! My son was 18 months old at the time. She wasn't even watching him and he walked in front of a seven year old swinging! She didn't even tell me about it! I found out when I went to his class room after my shift and saw that his face was swollen! I asked her what happen and she said she wasn't sure. Another coworker was the one who told me! I took my little boy to the emergency room to make sure he was fine. They checked him out and he seemed to be ok. I had them fill out a report as to why he was being seen. My poor little guy had a huge black eye the next morning! I went and complained that she wasn't suppose to watch him any more or I was walking out. They told me they would give her an aid. And they did. I checked on him myself every 30 minutes as well. At his nap time I checked on him and he was sleeping. I came back my 30 minutes later and he was sitting in the corner! I picked him up and he had scratches on his head and three red lines up his nose! Like someone had shoved his face in the floor! I was so upset I picked him up and went to the office. I flipped out. They called her into the room and she tried to tell me he did it to himself! She even went as far as to tell me to chill out, she didn't need the attitude. I could of knocked her out right then. I was so upset I left. When I got home I changed his diaper to find he had been sitting in p**p. It had to be for some time because he was so raw he was bleeding. He does have sensitive skin and she knew this! Needless to say I went in the next morning and told them I quit and they were lucky I didn't take him to the police and make a report. I also informed them that I had taken to him the hospital and had it documented that he was injured in their care. They told me that it was probably for the better than I go, my standards were too high! That because I cleaned my bathroom ( I was potty training 12 two year olds, when I was suppose to only have 7) everyday the other girls had complained! They told me I was too clean! I couldn't believe this. I will NEVER put my children in a day care again. I hope things can work out for you. I know things get tight but if you can make it work then try to watch your own child. Maybe you can watch other children in your home? Good Luck!

Answer 8

Sorry to here this man I would be so mad too trust me I can understand you .....What you guys should do is if ur husband works in the morning you try to work in the evening that why he can help and when he leaves your there for ur baby its something better to do know in days you can trust anyone no more  

Answer 9

look for another location but scout it first while children are present. Maybe give the new one a couple of days they are new so... relax

Answer 10

that is horrible bring him to me i will watch him no child should be put in a situation like that and they should definately follow your instructions!

Answer 11

Although these things may be 'fixable' and non-life threatening, I would pull him out.  This is your peace of mind that is at stake here.  If you think you can 'fix it' and make sure these things don't happen and they communicate better, that's good, go ahead and try, but otherwise, try to look for a new facility or you'll be worrying all day long because you're envisioning him face down on a mat in a wet onesie in a cold room without a blanket being fed too often.

Answer 12

Sounds like the place is very poorly run. Good programs have a way for the staff to communicate with each other when the shift changes-eith an overlap or some kind of notebook. If the place is new that is all the more reason the staff should be well trained. You should be given a written report every day on what and how much your child ate and when his diaper was changed. If you choose to take him out contact the local licensing authority and the Kindercare corporate office. These problems often arise in the for profit chain day cares because they tend to have a lot of turnover and minumum training. Look for a well established not-for-profit. They sometimes are not as shiny and impressive looking but tend to offer better care.

Answer 13

Move into a smaller place, get rid of one of your cars and stay home and raise your OWN baby!!  Why did you have a baby if you can't afford to have one!?  Poor baby is suffering!

Answer 14

Get your son out of there now. I don't care if it's a facility, your mother in law or a 13 year old next door. If you give someone orders to take care of your child, no matter what they may be, that person NEEDS to obey them. No excuses. Period.

Does your work have FMLA leave? Ask around. Talk to your boss. Look in the local newspapers and try to find babysitters. It'll probably be hard to find one that will accept a newborn but seriously, anything has got to be better than that place. I'm familiar with Kindercare. We have a few where I live and I know how expensive they are. Especially for small babies. I bet if you go on some interviews, you'll find someone and they will be cheaper. Yes it's not a "registered facility" or anything but I don't know. If that was my baby girl in that place, I would've raised h**l. Seriously, get that baby out of there. They obviously don't care what your rules are and what your sons schedule is (two VERY cruicial things) and it doesn't sound like they pay much attention to the kids in general. What was she doing with water when she was changing his diaper??? That's just wierd. And I'm sooo with you on the pacifier thing. If someone were to give my baby a pacifier for nothing I would've been MAD. anyways, that's my opinion. Get him out. Find someone else. Anyone else. Good luck!!

Answer 15

Financial difficulty or not, you made a choice to both work.  Supporting a family on one income can be done.  You may have to tighten up the way you live, get a smaller place, have fewer 'things', but it can be done.  My parents lived paycheck to paycheck while my mom stayed home with my little sister and I until she was almost 7 and I was 9 and then she only worked part time while we were in school.   The problem with daycare is that it will never be good enough.  Parents are protective of their own kids (rightfully so), so trusting someone else to raise them is a BIG deal.  Even 'good' daycare centers are probably going to do things that you wouldn't with your own children, and this place doesn't sound like it's even a 'good' place.

Answer 16

I would not let my child stay there that is horrible..I feel I;m gonna have the same problem me an my b/f are just getting by with both of us working and I only get 6 weeks off I'm not due til March 2009 but I am already thinking about what I will do and hearing this makes me even more scared

Answer 17

Ok.  This isn't going to be popular.  But here it goes....

I think you're really...really over-reacting.  First of all, he's only 2/5 months old and he eats only every 4 hours because that's what you dictate????  I realize everyone has a school of thought on this, but perhaps they were feeding your child because it was hungry.  Not exactly something to get overly upset up.

As far at the other child being on his tummy, it's generally called "tummy time".  It's really important for develop of their little muscles.  I hope that this is something you're doing regularly at home, but it doesn't sound like it.

The outfit change??  What is the big deal??  He's an infant.  They get messy.  Be glad they changed him into something clean instead of leaving him in a dirty outfit all day.

And if you didn't want him to have a pacifier, don't pack it in the bag.

Ok.  Everyone can freak out on me now.....

Answer 18

Oh my gosh that's terrible! I would take my son out of there as fast as I could! They seem to have very little care for their babies. They may be highly recommended for toddler care, not baby care.

To avoid further mishap, I suggest you search other day cares and ask if you could stay for a few hours to see what it's like.