My 2.5 year daughter has been using the "F" word.?

Question

I am not sure where she picked it up, as my husband and I do not swear. She has only been babysat a few times and the people she has stayed with do not swear.

Its not just the word, its the context in which she uses it. Ok, dont laugh. Today she wouldnt eat her sandwich. I asked her what she wanted me to do with the sandwich. She told me to "f*** it".

I can only assume she has picked it up from the TV - we currently are in a one-bed flat. On occasions she has woken up in the night and switched on the TV without my knowing. I can only assume she heard it from here.

What can i do?? how should i handle this. Initially i just ignored it (she first used the word weeks ago), but she is still using the word, albeit rarely. This afternoon I said I would spank her if she used the word again.

PS - i hope this question does not cause offence, I am aware that a question like this is somewhat amusing, but deep down i am very upset by this. She is otherwise a good girl.

Answer 1

don't react by getting upset.  it just gives more attention when she wants it.  explain that this a rude word and nice girls don't use it.  she might get a timeout if she uses.  i would say if the parents don't use she will quit.

Answer 2

kids pick up things everywhere these days. does she speak all of her words plain?  she could simply be saying something close to this word and it not be it, but let her know that it is a bad word and little kids shouldn't use words like that and that they are ugly, and she is such a pretty little girl to be saying ugly words.  try to make her understand the reason behind it and if this don't work try not responding to her when she says it just ignore it cause the bigger fuss you make over it the more she might say it.

Answer 3

You need to keep your word about the spanking if she does it again.  If you don't, she will quickly learn that you don't mean what you say.

Be consistent, take action every time she says it.

Stories like these are cute as long as they aren't about your own kids!

Answer 4

the first time she says it tell her noo no then tell her if she says it again youlle washe her mouth then wash her mouth out with soup every time she says it and  tell her its not a nice word and you are sad she said it

Answer 5

Tell her that it's a naughty word, and she mustn't use it.  If she does use it again, don't make a big deal out of it.  Warn her again calmly that it's naughty, and she will have a time - out if she does it again.  If she says it again, follow through with the time - out.  Don't react when she says it, as hard as that may be.  Don't shout, don't smile, and certainly don't laugh.  If she doesn't get a reaction from it, she'll stop doing it.

In the meantime, unplug the TV at night, and/or block the channels that have inappropriate content.  Also, don't beat yourself up over it - it happens to the best of us.  My husband and I don't curse, nor do we allow anything on TV that is rated over Y/G.  Still, on a trip away from us with my husband's family, our three - year - old picked up a 4 - letter word.  It's unfortunate, but it does happen.

Answer 6

In my opinion, the biggest thing to do is to NOT overreact. By overreacting, you're showing that using that word upsets you and gets her attention- something that little kids just love!! ("Hey!! Look at mom! Everytime I say __ or do___ she gets all upset! Cool!!")

I would just calmly and sternly say "We do not use that word. It is not nice." every time she says it. In time, she'll learn that the word is not acceptable.

Answer 7

just ignore her if she doesn't get a reaction she will forget about it.

Answer 8

You gotta love kids! LOL

Cursing is like a forbidden fruit, once they know they are not supposed to say that word, that is when it will start flying out of their mouth. The worst thing to do is react to it. Try not to laugh or threaten punishment. Eventually they will stop using the word. Afterall, your daughter doesn't know WHAT it means. Children are like sponges. That is how they learn languge. They hear things, look for cues as to its context and then try it out. Words that get a response or meet a need will be positivly reinforced and will become a part of their vocabulary. Words that are negativly reinforced will become the "forbidden fruit" and they will use them to test their boundries.

Right your daughter is too young to understand the meaning behind the word. Just ignore it. However, if it continues and you are still uncomfortable with it, try to explain to her that it is not a word that kids are supposed to use. She may be able to understand it. My daughter is 4 now and she went through the same thing. Now she is a perfect lady. Good luck!!

Answer 9

simple answer:  ure bad parents.

Answer 10

Tell her it is a bad word and she should not repeat it. If she sees how you react to it ,she'll realize it is not good to say. Some people think it is cute for kids to curse and i am glad that you are teaching your daughter that it is not . Don't forget to praise her when she doesn't say the word.

Answer 11

Sit her down and ask her if she knows what the word mean, and then explain that it is a "NO NO" word which makes you sad, and the next time she says it she will get a big time out,and no juice for a long time.(For my kids juice is like crack.)

I must admit I giggled for about two minutes before being able to respond to this.

Just make sure you don't laugh when she does it , or your husband laughs. That reinforces her idea that the word is funny.

Good luck, I have been there too. Actually I have been there eight soon to be nine times.

Answer 12

ok when you first heard her say the word u shudve asked where she got it from and told her no this is not a good word to use and if u do there will be consequences. for everytime she uses the word, you should take something from her or like not punish her but tell her no desert or something like that you know she'll understand

Answer 13

When my little boy uses an inappropriate word (and that one has come up!) I just say, "That sure is an ugly word" in a calm voice and then go back to what I'm doing. He doesn't feel ignored, but he doesn't get any reaction from me either. It has worked really well for me.

Answer 14

Each time she says that word....you should reprimand her because what is going to happen is she is going to embarrass you in public. She is hearing that word from somewhere, and doesn'tknow that it is wrong to say. There are so many T.V. shows on now that uses all kinds of words. I would spank that hand each time she does it (not hard or to hurt her) but to let her know that she has gone to far in her conversation. Just wait until she gets older. continue to work with her.

Answer 15

Nip it in the bud now. Once is too much. You are the mother and you have to tell her little girls don't talk like that and that if she says that word you will wash her mouth out with soap. (Even if you wouldn't) You would be surprised at how that works. My mom always told us that and trust me it worked. I come to hate the taste of Ivory soap. She didn't play !! Good Luck .

Answer 16

A child her age won't realise what a 'bad word' is.  She is way too young.

When I was training to be a teacher we did a course on children and swearing as part of behaviour management.  The advice was to actually use the word back at the children because they often don't know which word is the bad word.  To a child 'bottom' might be as bad (or not) as the f-word.  Therefore, if you think your daughter is able to understand you could say 'I heard you say *** , we do not say ***, *** is a very bad word'.

The other thing you could do is train her out of it.  In the same way small kids say, 'Lellow' and we correct them and say, 'It's yellow' or they say, 'Me need' and we correct and say, 'No, its I need' you could find a better word for your child to use and break the habit by giving her an alternative without making a fuss.  I know this worked when my child was saying 'Oh sh*t' when something went wrong and I would just say 'No, it's 'oh sugar' and she soon started using that instead.

'Flip-it' is all that springs to mind for an alternative to 'f**k' at the moment.

She isn't being a naughty child so don't spank her - it's just picking up on inappropriate  language (and she DOES have the context of usage right)

Answer 17

She has gotten a re-action out of you or family. You could try to continue to ignore it or tell her that we don't use those words in our house. if she uses it you could put her ion time out.  

give her other words that sound funny or different that she could use. like oh fudge!

Answer 18

well every time she says it you need to tell her its a bad word and she cannot say it, tell her good little girls dont use words like that, and if she keeps doing it your gonna have to spank her, thats what I would do

Answer 19

Oh this is funny.  Not "funny ha-ha" but "funny ironic".  I don't really have any advice, but I thought I'd share something with you.

My son is also 2.5 and has also started saying the F-word.  His father has supervised visits with him due to a drug problem and he says this word about as frequently as you and I  would say  the word "and".   I've had a lot of trouble making my son understand that it's a bad word and I think it's because he hears it so frequent.  It's so bad that the Child Welfare Supervisor has said something and has also written a letter to his attorney.  I honestly think my son doesn't understand it's bad.  

Luckily for you, curse words aren't part of your family's vocabulary.  Maybe you can make her understand that it's bad.  A counselor friend of mine told me that when my son says the bad word, I should say "F*ck is a bad word.  Don't say it again."  Then I'm reinforcing that the word is bad.  He said lots of times children get confused and don't know which word was bad.  Now, he also told me that since this word is heard so frequently, it may not work for my son.  Maybe it will work for you though.  

Best of luck and I so understand.  I literally live in fear when we're out in public that my son will get disgusted with something and say "Oh F-word!"  It's not a nice feeling!

As a matter of fact, if you come up with a miracle cure, let me know!!!

Answer 20

she's using it for effect, a reaction from you.

If she did pick it up from watching tv time and time again next time so she doesn't see bad language and other rude things switch the tv off at the mains so she can't do it anymore.

Eventually she should forget it if it's not repeated to her over and over again on tv.

Answer 21

i am in the same position my daughter is also 2 1/2 and uses the f word. myself and my partner also do not swear and i honestly think she has picked up on it from the tele, she was playing out in the garden and decided to pull down her knickers and done poo right in the middle of the garden, of course  this wasn't appropriate so i told her to use the toilet but her reply was 'f*** you! i immediately took her in  the house and put on the deepest voice i could and told her that the word was disgusting and that she must never use it again and well its been 2 days and no mention of it so I'm hoping its worked! keep explaining to her why the word is wrong and hopefully she wont use it again good luck and take care

Answer 22

I know it's a pain but have you considered either unplugging the TV at bedtime so she can't turn it on in the middle of the night OR moving her bed away from the TV area?

Also, she obviously has picked it up and uses it because someone has given her a reaction such as laughing or otherwise encouraging her to say it.  Next time she does it tell her in a serious voice and face "that is a bad word and you don't say that again".  If she does it again remove her from the room and put her in her bed and let her scream if needs be.  She needs to get the message that the word is not only inappropriate but when she uses it she will be excluded from the activities going on.

Answer 23

First of all, never show a major reaction to it. That will just bring it more often.  It doesn't sound like you are doing that though.  The next time she does it I would gently take her face in your hands, look her in the eye, and tell her that word is not appropriate (in words she'll understand, of course.)  She's old enough to understand what consequences are.  Tell her the consequence, which obviously would be the spanking, and then follow through if she does it again.  She'll begin to associate the consequence with the word and eventually stop doing it.  Make sense?  It really sounds like you are already doing this.  Don't make a big deal of it though.  Just simply state the rules and follow through.  Make sure that you and your husband are on the same page as well.  Oh, and I would make sure to unplugged the TV at night.  hehehe!!!  

God Bless.

mom of 5 w/ #6 due Nov 08

Answer 24

As weird as this sounds ..

Don't pay any mind to it.

Soon as she realizes it is a bad word, she will most likely use it more & say it whenever she cans.

(Children love to rebel at young ages too, just like teens)

So try distracting her whenever she says this word.

If this doesnt help - softly explain to her that the word she is saying is not a nice word, and can hurt other's feelings.

Answer 25

This afternoon I said I would spank her if she used the word again.

i would do that the rest of the times she said that word.she doesn't have the right to tell you to go f**k some thing two and a half you need to put her in her place.

Answer 26

The next time she uses it, hopefully just infront of you, sit her down and talk to her. Explain to her why it is wrong to use that word. Tell her its not a nice word and it hurts your feelings.

I wouldn't punish her , that may make her afraid from learning new words.  She learned it, it was new to her, now she just needs to know that it is wrong and why.