Question:

My 2.5 year old son throws toys when he gets mad. How do you break this habit?

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Our son, 2.5, throws his toys when he gets frustrated with them. He loves figures and trucks and the combination of putting the "guys" into the trucks/cars. But if one doesn't fit or doesn't go inside the vehicle easily, he gets so mad, he ends up throwing it - sometimes resulting in it either breaking or something malfunctioning. I've gone as far as pretending to throw out the toys that were thrown, but some of them aren't cheap and I'd rather not have to resort to discarding them or giving them away! If you have any suggestions on alternate ways to correct this bad habit, I would truly appreciate it.

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14 ANSWERS


  1. Time out?


  2. Spanking.

  3. I think the timeout plus the feigned throwing out of the toys (or telling him the toys he throws won't be returned to him for a while) may help. Also, I would offer him a reward/treat/encouragement for showing appropriate behaviour. Positive reinforcement should work as well or even better than punishment. I wish you luck. Raising children is not easy.

  4. My toddler throws things when she's mad, usually its her food when she's done with dinner and I haven't gotten her down yet. I think its normal for 2 year olds, they get so frusterated they can't help it.

  5. Remove him from the area where the toys are until he calms down. Be consistent and he will get the idea.

  6. It's all about providing your son replacement behaviors. By just putting him in time out, you are not teaching him what to do instead of throwing. If he has some language or able to imitate, you'll be ahead of the game. It will take time, but in my opinion, sit with him while he plays. Set him up with one of the toys that doesn't fit. When it doesn't fit, model the appropriate language for him, something like, "Let's try again" and then put it in the proper place. You might have to say to him "Johnny say, 'it doesn't fit', let's try again'". This will take practice, but he will get it. Remember to tell him what you want him to know, not what you don't want him to know (try again, instead of don't throw). Also give him lots of praise (hugs, kisses, "GOOD JOB" when he does it correctly.

    As your son develops more language, the physical stuff will go away. By throwing he is also communicating, he just needs words to replace the behavior.

    Good luck....

  7. i have two 2 1/2 yr old sons and they are in their TERRIBLE two's i mean real terrible, they do the same thing they get mad cause they cant figure something out and they toss it across the room, so i sit down with them and show them how to do it or find a smaller figure that will fit and tell them to calm down and ill show them how and then i let hem do it and if that doesnt work  i get the toy and i have a trash can well its not really used for trash i toss the toys in there and put the boys in a time out for 2 minutes and tell them each time they throw something im gonna throw it in the trash can, it sometimes works but they are boys and they will have their tempers cause they cant get it right

  8. My toddler does this too, he will be two in a couple of weeks. It is mostly because he is frustrated or because he wants attention. I've done two things. First, I've given him something that he *can* throw in the house, a nerf basketball type thing-- so when he throws, I redirect him to that.  Secondly, if he throws a toy, I have a box where I take it and put it away. If he throws it, he looses it for the rest of the day. They magically reappear the next day. He is learning not to throw things, and I will remind him with a simple "No throws." when I see him start to get frustrated/about to throw something.

    Finally, if your toys are breaking, make sure they are age appropriate. He has thrown around many of his things and they are not breaking that easily. If you have little things that he can't manipulate/ he is frustrated easily/ etc. He might be playing with toys that are above his age/activity level.  My son really likes the "little people" and they are easy for him to manipulate.

  9. Throwing is a very typical behavior for toddlers. They are very impulsive. He is just tring to express his anger, and throwing sometihing is the only way he knows how.  You just have to keep reminding him that it is not okay to throw cars or whatever. Then show him something that he can throw, like a soft ball or stuffed animal. It is going to take a while, but he will catch on. You can also remind him to ask for you for help when he cannot do it himself. Also, make sure that the toys  he is playing with are age appropriate, because if you are giving him a toy that he is not quite ready for then you are unintentionally setting him up for failure. Just stick in there, you are doing great!

  10. Perhaps show him that they may not fit in one thing, but put them in another. Show him that there are alternate routes before he starts freaking out. Teach him that getting mad isn't going to make his toys fit into some toys, but they can fit into other things. If he continues to freak out, then a time out. Good luck!

  11. You should put him in time-out for as long as you need to so he knows that he did something wrong and you should do it until he settle down. Somewhere quiet with no distractions whatsoever.

  12. Tell him no. Put him in a time out for 2 minutes, since he is 2 years old. And have a specific time out chair and make sure he knows that thats his time out chair. Keep the time out chair in one certain area of the house, where there will be no distractions, but you can keep an eye on him. Once time out is over, tell him why he had a time out and have him apologize.

  13. My daughter (currently 21 months) did the same thing when she was fustrated.  You should sit with him when he plays with the fustratating toys and when he starts to get upset, talk to him and help him. Explain that its ok to feel fustrated, and if a toy makes him feel fustrated, he should put it down, take a deep breath and either try again, come to you, dad, older sibling, etc for help playing with it, or try playing with another toy. If he throws the toy, explain to him that throwing is not ok b/c it may break and we might hurt someone so you will have to take this toy away and he can play with another.  You dont have to throw it away, just put it somewhere he cannot reach (I sometimes put it somewhere they can see it and when they ask for it, I explain that they cannot play with it today because they threw it).  If you do this consistantly, he should get the point.

  14. Ever heard of the "terrible two's?"

    Until a child is about 2 years old, external forces (you) make all decisions for him. Now he has to learn to do that himself and he gets sometimes very frustrated, especially when things don't go the way he wants them to go.

    The best way to deal with temper tantrums is to remove him from the situation and give him something else to do. He is blessed with a very short attention span.

    Don't dispair, this is temporary!!!!

    Spanking won't help, because he can't control his emotions yet.

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