My 20 month old screams when I put him down for bed. HELP!!?

Question

He was a dream child up until now, when it came to going to bed. 7:00 pm every night. Drop him in his crib and would moan until he fell asleep. Now, it's a struggle every night. He freaks out, like someone is chopping his hand off. I have to rock him and even then, if he's not fully asleep and I lay him down, he screams and cries until either I go back in, or if it's been a while he'll fall asleep. Any suggestions? We've tried the whole routine thing, it backfired on us. He wants to keep reading book after book to delay the inevitable. What to do???

Answer 1

well somtimes you can just keep reading till he falls asleep go to bed earlier than normal to do this. or just rock him and then put him down. let him cry this takes alot of energy so just let him  cry it out and just ignore him turn his night light on (if you have one) and leave the door slighly open and just leave him he's having a temper tantrum if you ignore him eventualy he will stop

Answer 2

How long did you stick with the routine? Do you have a particular place that you sit to read? And do you make him pick only 2-3 books per session or however many you read, etc.? You have GOT to do a routine and stick with it. NO changes at all what so ever until he gets used to it. Also, does he have a nightlight or two in his room? When I tried to let my 2 yo daughter sleep in her tot bed at night and had to move her nightlights around she FREAKED. Maybe he's afraid now....if you don't have light in there, get one....make a routine and stick to it. Just do it...even if he cries. Once you let him go to sleep on his own screaming and crying a few nights in a row working with the routine and he figures out you're not going to cave....he'll give in and he may not be your dream child again, but he'll straighten up. Also, a white noise machine/maker could help too. We have one of those in my daughters room and have had one in there since she was born. GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 3

i'm not going to give you a whole book on this, but what worked for me was i read him 1 book gave him a big hug and kiss and left the room. after 2 weeks of trying my patience not to mention my eardrums he went back to his previous i'm an angel bedtime routine.

Answer 4

My little one also initially went to sleep right on the dot and without protest. But that has totally changed!

Here is my experience:

I try not to let her nap at all after 3 p.m., so by the time 7/7:30 p.m. comes along, she's tired and worn out. I also make sure that she gets plenty of food so there's no chance that she could be hungry. Also, just before she goes to sleep, I offer her some water (this might be a problem though once she doesn't wear diapers anymore...).

Also, what helps is just sitting in a chair next to her crib and chatting with her, singing, doing a little peekaboo. Just so she smiles and doesn't cry. I know some of the baby books say to leave the room. But I just can't do it. I'd rather try to get my baby to fall asleep with a smile on her face than tears streaming down her face... And I want her to feel loved and secure.

I stopped lying her down when her bedtime comes. I just stand her in the crib and then sit on the chair. Then she walks around the crib and I do my chatting, singing, etc. And then, often (but not always....) she just lies down (I think for some reason it's very important to her that SHE, not mommy, makes the decision when she's ready to lie down) at some point and starts sleeping. Then I just wait a little while longer and leave the room when I know for sure that she's asleep!

I think this sleep drama will probably stop at some point by itself. And until then I guess I'll just sit around her room for an extra 20/30 minutes every evening, watching her sleep - it's very meditative...

I just think the crying out routine is very cruel. A baby doesn not have the cognitive and logical abilities to play manipulative power games ("I will drive mommy crazy with my hysterical crying!"). I think the crying is just insecurity and being scared. For some reason, sleep can be scary for babies. I just think, and that's just my opinion, we all as parents try so hard to be nice to our babies during the day and try to teach them. And then when the baby shows vulnerability and is clearly upset, then some parents just leave their little one to his/her own devices. The crying-out approach was, by the way, retracted by the original author of the book on the subject. Crying out was a wrong theory. A baby needs love and assurance that sleep is wonderful and that mommy/daddy are there when there's a problem. It just takes a lot of patience.

I don't know if this helps but that's my experience.

Good luck!