My 21 month old son is so clingy.

Question

He has never been a big crier now all of a sudden he'll cry for no reason and never leaves my side, won't play when I take him to parks, leaves when another kid tries to play with him,won't share. Its driving me crazy I can't play with him all day and when I'm cooking or cleaning he just holds on to my legs or throws his toys. What should I do? Is this just a stage? I want him to be more confident and not so insecure

Answer 1

Its only seperation anxiety..I feel your pain sometimes nothing works.My daughter who is five now went through it around the same age..When you are doing things and cant give him attention give him a shirt of yours that smells like you tied up so its about the size of a blanket..Tell him that when he wants mommy and you cant be there to smell it and hug it..My daughter loved this and it worked like a charm..It doesnt have to be a shirt either..A blanket of yours that he enjoys or something like that..Im sure you get the idea..Hope this helps GL

Answer 2

I hate to say it but your son is normal.  They go through that stage.  The previous answer is a good one, but remember that if you foster the clinging for to long he will have a bigger problem later.  

If he wants to cling let him but he has to have rules.  One of which is he can't be in the kitchen.  So the shirt idea is great.  He can not throw toys as this will be dangerous later on when he has harder toys and a stronger arm.  When you can keep him close wrap him up tight in your arms and hug for as long as he can tolerate it.  Chances are good that if he knows that when you can, you cling back he will settle down.

At this age sharing is not a word in their vocabulary and  he should not be force to.  Most two year olds will play seperately and side by side.  And strangers will worry him.  This is not necessarily a sign of things to come.  At three he will want to venture out more.  If not then it is time for more and stronger measures.  When you are with him be with him and when you leave him leave him.  This will be hard as he will throw a fit and cry like he's about to die.  But if you check with child care workers they can tell you volumes of stories about children who throw dramatic fits and when mom is out of site calm down and have the time of their lives only to throw a "Why did you leave me you bad mommy" fit when mom reappears.

Playing peek a boo will help him understand that you will disappear but you will be back shortly.  Make sure you are.   By the time he goes to preschool or Kindergarten you will be the one crying in the door as your baby leaves for new adventures.