My 3 1/2 yr. old just started preschool and she fight with the kids? HELP!?

Question

I have 2 lil girls a 1 1/2 yr old and a 3 1/2 yr old. My 3 1/2 yr old just started going to a Montessori. Before she had always wanted to go to school, but now that she has been their only 4 days she tells me she does not want to go anymore and it breaks my hart to see her cry because she does not want to stay. The teacher told me that she has a problem keeping her hands to herself and that she has hit some of the other kids! I will admit at home she does fight with her lil sister but I always make sure to put a stop to it and explain to her that she is not suppose to do that. Yestarday I dropped her off and I noticed that their was this one lil girl about her age that was teassing her because I was carrying her into school. Today when I dropped her off I stayed in my car and watched her and I did see her fight with that same lil girl! My daugther complains that this lil girl fights with her and I have noticed the lil girl is a bit of a bully. What should I do?

Answer 1

You should sit down with her teacher and explain to her the situation because I have a little niece about 4years old and her younger brother is going to be three so they fight a lot for attention. It might be that she doesn't want to go cause she doesn't get the full attention as she did with you. The other problem I see would be that little bully and should get a conference with the teacher and the little girls mom. You shouldn't tell her to fight her back but you should encourage her to let her teacher know when somebody is bothering her. You can also try to enroll her in an activity that will strengthen her self-control and confidence. I'm telling you this because that's what my brother did to my little niece.

Answer 2

Enroll her in to a Karate school.  They will teach her self control and respect.

Answer 3

I wouldn't worry too much yet, it takes them a while to settle in and feel comfortable. Try talking to her about using words when she is upset or frustrated rather than hitting. If possible spend a bit of extra one on one time with her at home, make a big fuss about any craft drawings etc that she has done at school, let her know how clever you think she is.

Talk about school explain that it is normal for her to miss mummy and that you miss her too but by going to school she will get to lots of fun things. Just give it time, it may take several months for her to get to know and feel comfortable with the staff and other children.

Answer 4

I'm a preschool teacher and I can tell you most children have a rough time keeping their hands to their selves. Since she has only been attending for four days, give her more time to adjust. As long as she is playing with other children and has not changed sleeping and eating patterns she will be fine. If a child is emotionally disturbed by school her actions will change negatively. So be sure to watch her.

Work with the teacher, the teacher may be using a different method to stop fighting. Such as telling students to use their words. Or maybe she explains that their friends do not like being hurt. You both need to use the same method so not to confuse the child.

Also, remember watching the class for twenty minutes and being their the whole day is like watching two different scenes. I have children that will not talk to each other all morning, because one wouldn't  let other play house and then at lunch they  are begging to sit next to each other. Children are developing their opinions and ideas and it may seem wrong to us but sometimes we just have to step back and let them work it out. As long as no one is getting hurt!

Answer 5

you should gave her a reward if she is good all day.  and have her teacher gave you a note how she did