My 3 1/2 yr old won't pooh on the toilet!!!???

Question

He pees fine and his pull-ups and underpants have been consistently dry for a few months (he still wets occasionally during naps and wears a diaper to bed at night), but he flat-out refuses to pooh in the toilet. I've tried rewarding him for trying, and last week he went a little bit, so I got him a toy. The next day I asked himif he needed to go again, and he said he didn't need to cuz he got his new toy already! I've tried punishing him or scolding him for pooping in his pants, and he holds it for like 3 days ant THEN goes in his pants, after asking him every few hrs if he has to go in the toilet. I am SOOO frustrated and so is he. HELP!!!

Answer 1

My son is 3, almost 4 and has been pee-trained for 1.5 years, but is still not p**p-trained. He wears underwear, and goes into the bathroom and puts on his own pull-up and poops in the bathroom. Then I go in there to change him. Some history...he got very sick with diarrhea and then constipation about the time he started potty training. The constipation became a vicious cycle for a full year (he has been taking Miralax). He is finally over the constipation and doesn't really have any memory of it, so I know he is "ripe" in terms of being ready to p**p-train. My approach at this point is to be patient and let him come to the decision on his own (he's one of those kids that will rebel in the face of pressure). He knows that I will buy him a Thomas the Train set when he goes on the potty 3 times. I can tell he really wants to do it, but he is just not confident yet. He knows I am there to support him and that I am on his side. Like the pediatrician said, she has never sent any of her patients off to college in pull-ups... moral of the story is - I think you should just relax and don't let anyone tell you what is best for you and your child.  

BTW, be aware that any "tactics" you try to get your child to comply could result in a painful cycle of constipation...don't let that happen.

Answer 2

basically i went thru it and still going thru it, take him off the undies and pullups during the day. if he has to go he will go in the potty, that is what i did with my son. i jsut recently took him off the pullups at night and his wearing reg underwear and hes doing good. the trick is to stop all drinks at 730! bring him to the potty at 8pm, then again at 11pm. and for the rest of the nite. he shoud be good, but this is only a suggestion.

P.S.

he should really be going pooh inthe toilet by n ow, you should also tell him that if he doesnt go in the potty and holds it in he will get pains in the tummy and you dont want that

Answer 3

I know what you're going through. My son was the same way. I thought he would never p**p in the toilet. His Dr. advised that we get a kids toilet seat that goes over the adult seat to make it seem like he's not fallling in the toilet and also a step stool so his feet aren't dangling. This way he feels like he has more control and not just hanging there. It didn't happen the first time but shortly after. I know how frustrating it is.

Answer 4

He may be regressing back. Maybe you should hold off on the toys for a bit. Try the M&Ms. He gets one if he pees and two if he goes pooh. Or 10 extra minutes of tv time if he poohs. Ahh another trick that may work is leaving him in his wet diaper for a few hours and see what he thinks of it. It wont feel very nice if you dont change him. Try having him decorate his own potty with the stickers that he likes. Although he may be afraid to go on the potty. Say like spiderman goes on the potty. You could say... Spiderman called and says he knows that you dont go on the potty and he wants you to try like a big boy. Is there someone who can demonstrate or be a role model for him like a big brother or daddy.

Answer 5

I am in the same position as you are.  My son (3 1/2) also refuses.  He has done it a couple of times, we make a big deal out of it and then the next day he has an accident.  Make sure he is not constipated...that could be part of the problem.  But if he is anything like my son, it's a waiting game.  The good news is that I have yet to hear of an 18yr old wearing pull ups because they refuse to use the toilet.  That gives me hope.

Answer 6

Stop punishing, this is a common problem with children, they seem to take longer to ppop on the potty. My son is also 31/2and just starting going p**p on the potty afteer a lot of frustration from me. Once I lightened up and figured out this was something he was going to have to do it's been much easier.

Answer 7

Just relax and let him do it in his own time. I know that it is very frustrating and you are tired of cleaning him up but he will eventually decide to do this on his own. It is a battle of wills. There are not many things that a 3 1/2 yr old has control over but this he does...and he knows it. Give it time. Also, don't let everyone else give you a time-frame in which he "should" be potty trained. If they have kids that are 1,2,3,and potty trained then that is great for them but in reality it doesn't always happen that way. Good luck!

Answer 8

most all kids go pee well before they go poo. It's normal! The worse thing to do is punish him for going in his pants. I had a friend that tried this... She told her boy that if he went poo in his pants that she would have to throw them away, so she set up a trash can and everytime he pooed she would take his pants and make sure he would see her throw them away. Once he was asleep, she would wash them and keep them put up so he couldn't see them. By the time the boy was down to his last few pairs of pants he was scared that he wouldn't have any pants to go play in so he started going to the potty.  It worked for him but you have to remember that every child is different.

Answer 9

get the potty chair with the handels on the side and sit him on it and strap him down with a belt..