My 3 3/4 year old girl is afraid of pooping on the potty. ?

Question

We have been potty training for over a year now. We've gotten close, but the ole number two always gets us in the end. I've asked her what she is afraid of with no results when she's upset (meaning we just tried to get her to go). When it isn't on her mind and I ask her about it, she will just tell me what I want to hear... "i'm a big girl and I'm gonna go poopy on the potty" We have literally tried everything. The most success we get is when we put her in big girl panties, but our daycare won't allow us to do this. Any suggestions? Please help us.

Answer 1

Some kids are afraid to p**p in the potty because they feel like part of their body is going into the potty- crazy, but I have seen it.   We call a #2 "putting your p**p in the potty".  It sounds like putting up your toys, everything has a place- and p**p goes in the potty.

Put her accidents into the potty and let her see it go down.  Remind her that "p**p goes in the potty".

Also, it is hard for kids to learn how to release the muscles used in pooping.  From an animal standpoint, it makes more sense to squat.  With that in mind, make sure that there is a stool that her feet can rest on when she goes potty.  (Ever try to p**p with your feet in the air?)  Make sure she has a small seat cover so that she is not holding herself up with her hands to keep from falling in.   That would make her flex her abs and add to the difficulty.

If you want to ensure success, let her run around the house in a long t-shirt and no panties for a couple of days.  That puts potty business in the front of a child's mind.

Good luck.  We've been there, and these approaches worked between my 2 kids.

Answer 2

My daughter has this problem.  We ended up at the ER because she was complaining of severe belly pain.  Turns out she was very constipated.  She says pooping hurts her butt and belly, so she just tries not to go.  The Dr. says a lot of kids tend to hold it in if they have a painful dry bowel movement after being constipated.  Perhaps this is your daughter's problem as well?  I added Benefiber to her morning drink (as well as using Miralax per Dr's instructions) and it's helped quite a bit.  

It might be worth taking her to the Dr. to see what they have to say about it.  Good luck, it's tough.

Answer 3

Okay, I partly agree with Caleb, but DO NOT make her start all over again.  This is about rewarding, not taking away.  We do a reward chart with our older son, and his therapist said it tears them down when you take away what they worked so hard for.  No offense to Caleb, just wanted to input what I was told.

Now, onto your question...I am currently having the same problem with my 3 year old.  He has to be on his hands and knees to p**p.  The doctor says it is a comfort thing.  Some of the things he suggested is to put a stool under child's feet so they aren't just hanging there.  Also, I have been told that children usually p**p around the same time every day so pay attention and maybe you can take her to the toilet before she does it in her pants.  Finally, when potty training my older son, he didn't p**p in the toilet until the day before he started Head Start.  He wanted to go to school, but I told him he had to p**p in the potty first, and he has been doing it ever since, 3 years.

Good luck, it is definately a challenge!

Answer 4

I would probably pull her out of daycare until this could be resolved (a week or so of successes).  Be sensitive to her feelings on this, don't make her feel guilty for having to be pulled out of daycare.  Since she won't actually p**p on the potty have her "practice" instead.  Have her sit on the potty and bear down or try to pass gas, just a brief try and then back to play.  Just keep doing this every hour all day.  The goal is to trigger a p**p on the potty, it should happen within the first two days.  Have her wear a long t-shirt and go bottomless so she won't go in her underwear.  This conditions her to go on the toilet and eases fears.  Get a toilet insert just in case she has fears of splashing.  If she starts to poo and you think she needs privacy, give it to her.  

At bedtime, if she has held in her p**p all day, read a long story while she sits on the toilet and have her "practice" with every page turn.  This should really stimulate the need "to go".  Hopefully the distraction of the story will help her go on the potty.  If she goes two days in a row holding her p**p, talk to a doctor about help for her.

  

Answer 5

I'm kind of afraid to. Sometimes it's so bad that I need to talk to someone about it. Many times I use a bed pan. My fear kicked in at about age 3 1/2 best I remember.  

Answer 6

If she is using the adult potty try putting in a kid seat so she doesn't feel like she is falling in.  BM's take more effort for little ones and sometimes holding their balance while on the toilet is too much so they get scared.  Also she may need to have her feet touching something.  Have you ever tried to go with your feet dangling? It's not easy.  You may want to reward her with something when she is successful.  Sometimes encouraging a desired behavior helps.

Answer 7

BEEN there!  So have many parents, I assure you.

The best way to go about it is to simply throw the diapers out the window.  I had a brand new barbie and movie combo on the refridgerator for 6 months with the knowledge that my daughter couldn't play with them until she pooped in the potty.  It didn't work!  What I *finally* did was I told her that the store ran out of diapers.  She held her p**p for 5 days before she finally succumbed to her physioligical needs and pooped in the potty.  The good news is, after that first time, they usually have no problems at all!

Since your daycare is so uncooperative, I would highly reccomend taking a vacation week off of work to make this a focus.  When your at home with her, you can throw the diapers out and make it a point to be fully potty trained by the end of the week.

Just my thoughts.

Answer 8

did u try little gifts... start at stickers... increase in size and coolness as she successfully does all her poops continuously in the potty... put a huge thing she really wants at 50 or 100... if she gets to 11 and goes in her pants tell her "Woops u have to start over now..."

also try to explain that its natural for little kids "like her" and older people "like u" to have a need to release BMs and urine (u can use p**p and pee if u want)

and that if she wants to be a big girl she must use the potty and not her panties...

if she goes in them at home make her stay in then 10-20 minutes extra to get her to hate the feeling and motivate her to try and use the potty more...