My 3 y old Kid refuses to go to school ?

Question

My 3 y old boy goes to preschool ,for a year every thing was ok , sure there were days he didn't want to go but I was able to convens him , since last week he start crying and screeming that he don't want to go , i asked for a reason all that he could say that he is angry off his friend at school ( who is away for 2weeks ) his grandperants insist that there is smthing wrong ,I think that he is only acting as a child espcially that he founds it a good way to cry , as his grandparents let him stay home with them P.S ( we leave next to them) , what do you think ?

Answer 1

ur spoiling him

Answer 2

Talk to his teacher and find out more info. Might be he just doesn't want to go to school. If that's the case, then just ignore his crying and screaming. Also tell his grandparents to be more strict and to ignore the crying. When I was in preschool, my mom had to attend the classes with me until my teachers forced her to stop and to ignore my crying and then I was able to go to school once I knew that crying would be useless. You wouldn't want your son to turn out spoiled.

Answer 3

I think he is really upset that his friend is gone and may be having trouble finding other kids to play with. Talk to the teacher about other kids and who he might like. The teacher should be able to help him join in. In any case, you need to talk to the teacher. And don't let his grandparents bully you.

Answer 4

I think if your 3 year old is acting out this much over it there must be something not quite right at that school. Someone is teasing him or something. You need to find out what? Talk with his teachers.

Answer 5

I think you're right-he's learnt that if he cries and says he doesnt w\nt to go then he gets to stay home. Many children think that by going ot pre-school they are missing out on something at home-like you're going to do something special and he'll miss it...so if he's learnt a new controllong method he is going to use it!

I have found that routine works best-say that you are going to pre-school-have stuff ready night before so minimum fuss in the morning-and go! Even if he kicks and screams take him and leave-dont hang around as this will make you feel worse and will make him continue the crying.

Staff should be trained and experienced with distressed and behavioural issued children and so will deal with him...you could always ask them to call you-or you call them after 10 mins to see how he has settled. For the first few days-even weeks he may kick and scream ever more but this may be anger that you have made him do something he doesnt want to do-once you have ridden past this bit he should be ok!

Things to try:

-Let him take a toy with him to show group.

-Walk to preschool with another mum/dad and their child.

-Speak to setting and work out a plan tailored to your child.

-Dont talk too much about preschool day before as too much talking will jusyt make him feel more anxious-a quick "School in the morning" is enough!

Good luck!

Answer 6

Yes. I think there is something wrong at school. you should find it out before it get serious.

Answer 7

Why are you sending your kid to school? Do you have to? I am not a fan of preschools; I taught at a prominenet nationally recognized school so that I could bring my two daughters and my then 16 month old fractured her arm there. The director never even apologized! There may be something wrong but, I've also seen kids cry for weeks on end, and then finally get themselves together. My threeyear old was one of them. She was actually three and would not go to her 3 year old room so she had to stay in the 4's with me. There was no way that she could have or would have stayed in school if I wasn't there.

Answer 8

Well, sounds like you know where to start!  You do know your child best and considering he has done fine for the year...it could very well be that he's realizing that if he cries and tantrums enough he just may get his way.  Possibly grandparents have been talking about him staying with them...and at this age...everything is greener on the other side of the fence!  Very much a possibility that it's because his friend is not there.  They are starting to form friendships at this age and my guess is he's not sure how to deal with not having his friend around.   However, I do feel like you need to speak with the teacher of the classroom...explain what is happening and ask if she's seeing a change of behavior at school.  Also, ask if he plays mainly with this child that is gone.  

Side note:  You are the parent... do not let your parents decide for you...it is very beneficial for children to be in preschool...a quality preschool can definately provide many learning opportunities that being with grandparents can't.  Also, if you give in to this right now...he's going to use it in the future.  My child is having difficulty at his preschool...mainly because he's "bored"...the teacher and and I definately differ in philosophies. However, in life we have to "stick it out".  So we've taken the attitude that preschool is his "work"...like Daddy and Mommy has.  Of course if the child's safety is being questioned...that's a different story.  Good luck in your decision making!

Answer 9

i think he is mad at his friend for leaving and going away for a few weeks and if he is that upset there might be something else going on at his school if i were u i would go have a meeting with his teacher and if that don't solve anything when your child's friend gets back  talk to his parents and see if their child has been upset for some reason

Answer 10

hey there i think it's quite a common problem that mothers face. u must try to know the reason for his refusal. you must inquire about the faculty in the school he goes. you must know whether he is being scolded or hit by the teachers. there must be some reason.