My 3 year old bites children while at the babysitters house?

Question

Okay I work form 9-5 Mon-Fri so I send my daughter to the babysitter. Well around a month ago the babysitter told me that my daughter (3 years old) bit one of the other girls and I am thinking why would she do something like that, I spoke to her about it, but just yesterday the same little girls mother went up to my b/f after he picked her up and said that she bit her again. She told him well I know they are kids but this is the second time. She never does this in the house so it's not like when she does this I can tell her stop but she is an only child and I don't have other children. When she is with her cousins she doesn't do this. If her mother says something to me what should I say? What should I do about the situation altogehter.

Answer 1

That's a hard one. Usually kids bite out of frustration. When they are younger its cause they don't know how to communicate that anger or work through it. Ask your child care if anyone else is biting too or having boundary issues... lol they are kids and everything is mine even if they haven't played with the toy in 5 min they still think its theirs. Is the other girl younger or older? Your child care provider should know to stay closer to your daughter at a time like this to see what is going on when this does happen. and that way she can stop it before contact is made. She could just be going through it and will stop soon. You never know

About the other mother. She shouldn't be told who bite her daughter. Your provider should know what privacy is. So it won't start any drama like this. If she asks you tell her your sorry and ask her if she has any advise. As a mother she should understand. If not don't work yourself up over it. After all they are kids and you are doing the best you can. Good luck! :)

Answer 2

Toddlers usually bite because of stress, anxiety, or frustration.  If a child is overstimulated or if they are overwhelmed.  If your child bites, you should try to figure out why.  Was she playing with older siblings and feeling small and powerless?  Did someone take a toy she wanted?  Was the room too crowded and loud?  Are you and your husband having relationship issues at home?  

When your daughter bites another child you should firmly tell her, "You do NOT bite, that hurts!"  and ask her, "Why did you bite...?"

Remember that tantrums and crying are healthy ways of exerting all of that frustration, stress, and rage.  If your child is crying about someone taking the toy they wanted-they are less likely to bite.  Don't put your child in time out for every tantrum or that pent up frustration will come out through teeth marks in some other child's arm.

If the child's mother says something to you, just apologise to her and assure her that you are working with your daughter to stop this biting habit-you hope it doesn't happen again.

Now that you know your child bites, watch her close when she is playing with other children and I'm sure your daycare provider will do the same.

Answer 3

I think that children do go through that stage, but aside from that she told you that the other girl had hit her, so that may be the root of the issue. She may feel powerless to do anything else but bite. As for what to do I would talk (not yell or be defensive) to the other child's mom about the situation and just see if you can come to a understanding of what is going on. And also try to teach your daughter how to handle the issue if it does happen again or a similar situation, like having her tell the teacher or tell the little girl No! that is not nice. And talk to the teacher too and ask her to watch and see what is going on between the two children. They are kids and they go through so much in their little lives at school lol. I hope that this helps.

Answer 4

I own my own in home day care, and I currently care for a child who bites.

Let me start off by saying that biting is COMPLETELY normal.  No, it is not right, and it is not okay, but approximately 30-40% of children between the ages of 1 1/2 and 3 go through a stage where they either bite or hit aggressively.  It's okay, and you're not bad parents.

This needs to be handled carefully because there is another child involded whos parents probably are not okay with their child getting bit.  They do need to understand however that this is a phase and will be worked through.

When your child bites, advise the babysitter to sit her in an immediate time out for 3 minutes (1 minute per year of age.)  Once the time out is over, she needs to get up and go apologize to the child that she hurts.  She needs to use a full sentence i.e. "I'm sorry that I bit you."  The babysitter needs to sit down with your child and explain that biting gives people boo-boos, and that it hurts them.  Have your sitter tell her that biting is NOT okay to do, even if another child hits her first.  You then need to reiterate everything at home that the babysitter said to your daughter.

It will get better, it's just a phase that she needs to work through.  I don't advise pulling her from day care though.  Only if it becomes such an issue that she's biting every day for a couple of weeks - at that point she may need a break from other children until she can understand better.  Call your doctor and talk to them about it - they'll tell you the same thing. ;)

As far as what to say to the other parent - if she pulls you aside complaining of them calmly explain it to her.  Say something like "I'm very sorry that my daughter bit your child.  We are working very hard on teaching her not to bite and that biting hurts.  This is not something that we are okay with, and I'm sure she'll learn very quickly not to bite others." You are doing nothing wrong as a parent, so don' t apologize for anything other than the fact that the incident happened.

Good luck, and have patience with her. :)

Answer 5

put her in time out, if that dont work take away toys for like 3 days if that dont work, put her in her room for the night and she can only come out to go to the bathroom and for dinner if she is good then she can come out after dinner

Answer 6

Maybe she did hit her first. Tell the baby sitter to separate them until she learns to play nicely. Next, tell your daughter it isn't good to bite.

Answer 7

Man,you  should threaten your child,i mean before she does it again just say " if you bite somebody today than your going to be grounded or get a w*p-en.

Answer 8

i think ur child is just missing u.  When u leave her for so long she probaly misses u.  To express that she misses u she bits other children and does bad things.  If the other child is really hitting her u need to sit her down and tell her wat to do if the other child hits her again. Not bite, go tell babysitter etc. Hope this helps! <3

Answer 9

Ask the babysitter to keep them apart, tell her your daughter says she is being hit by this child as she is retaliating by biting.

It's great that you talked to her about it, tell her that if she bites again (for what ever reason) she will lose her fave toy for a whole week, even if it's happening at the baby sitters and not immediatley in front of you.

Edit; It may be a good idea to approach the other mother yourself and apologise for the biting, ask her if you and her could get your two girls together at the weekend for a play date and encourage them to be friends and get a long.

Answer 10

she needs to be disciplined right when it happens. she needs to be told right in her face, "what did you just do to her/him? did you just bite her/him? thats not nice...etc...how would you like it if i bit you?...etc..." then the person should get some soap and introduce her to the soap and tell her next time she bites someone shes going to get soap in her mouth. but they should do it though. not the whole bar but let her taste it. i know that sounds mean but there needs to be consequences for their actions.

just my opinion. soap in a childs mouth is a small price to pay and it should get the point across.

Answer 11

I would suspect she is doing this in reaction to something that is happening to her.  Does not make it ok, but explainable.

I'd sit down and play with her dolls with her (little girls like this) and ask her to show you what happens right before she bites.

You may get alot of info from this.

If her biting becomes predictable as far as when, where, and where on the body you can always but tobassco sause on the other childs arm or what ever that she nites.