My 3 year old daughter is very angry...and she hurts herself a lot.

Question

My daughter just turned 3 in June and she is very angry. The past few months have been hard but the past few weeks are beyond hard. She bites herself so hard that she has her teeth imprinted in her skin for almost a whole day and it's all red. She bangs her head against the wall and bangs her head on the floor really hard. She spits and she is just really angry. She has a light pink room and she keeps telling me that she wants a mean black room. And I have no idea where that came from. All the colours in our home are nice calm colours. And she spits, she hits me, slaps me , kicks me and bites me. She slaps herself or hits herself in the face. I am a single mom and have been for the past 3 years so I don't know if that can be related to her but she is just so angry. And at daycare, she is fine and nice but at home, it's just so hard. I have an appointment with her doctor in 2 hours but I feel like such a horrible mom that she hurts herself so much. I hope the doctor won't think I'm a bad mom but what can make her so angry ? I have never hit my daughter or abused her. I always give her hugs and tell her that I love her, so I don't know where this anger is coming from.

Answer 1

Take the little one to counciling. If you ignore the problems they won't go away. Let her talk to someone and see if she can tell them what makes her angry then see if they can give you suggestions on how to deal with her behavior.  

Answer 2

She relates black with mean. Is there a reason for this? Does someone have a "mean black room" or wear a lot of black that she is around. Is she around someone who is angry and wears black? It "sounds" to me like she is angry at herself. Does she say she is bad or ugly or something is wrong with her? Is her anger directed at you? Of course the first thing to do would be to find out where this anger is coming from. Someone could be telling her she is stupid or she is bad. Or since she is getting older she could be noticing the other children have daddies and she may think its her fault her father is not in the picture. Look at her environment around her. Try taking her to a councilor she may feel better about talking to someone she doesn't know rather than you or someone she does.

Answer 3

I don't usually say go see a psychologist, but you need to go.  And you're not a horrible mom.  Hang in there, help is on its way.

Answer 4

well i think that she needs a woopin or she juss a little demon and needs more love and care and since you are a single mom maybe she wants her father there with a her 24\7! try that and it might help but not really guaranteeing that it will work!

Answer 5

Well she's in her toddler years, so that could have part to do with it. A lot of toddlers are some what aggressive. But not to that extent. Also it could do with the lack of a fatherly figure or brother sister in the house. Maybe something is going on at daycare that you don't know about. It's possible that the kids are mean or harassing her or telling her things she shouldn't hear, or maybe one of the daycare workers has been abusing her. You should check into your daycare and see if anything is going on there you don't know about. Also try to talk with her and tell her it's not right or good to bite or hurt herself in anyway, and ask her if anyone else has tried to hurt her. She's a little kid so chances are if something is going on you don't know about she might tell you. If you explain that you love her so much you don't want to see her hurt or upset in any way. Do you watch scary movies? I'd hold off on them for now. Maybe try to pray with her, sometimes it helps kids to be accountable for their actions, if they know some one out there is watching them, even if they can't see him. Good luck. I'll pray for you.

Answer 6

ask her whats wrong maybe she can tell you whats wrong. also ask your daughter's doctor and ask'em whats wrong with her. usually kids her age has tantrums mabe she is having a difficulty of expressing her feelings, maybe she is wondering why she dosen't have a father and is probaley a bit envious and putting all her emotions on you.