My 3 year old daughter learned I hate You and Stupid from television.?

Question

My toddler doesn't watch television that much and when she does it's only noggin, t.v. for preschoolers, and she'll get an hour 2 times a week.

A couple of moths ago I was cleaning up and had my telelvision on and I gues she picked up the saying I hate you. We also watched cartooon network early one morning together and they used the word stupid in the show. I didn't think much of it but now it has come back to haunt me.

She now says

I hate you to me when she is upset, and thank goodness the saying stupid phase already passed.

What can I do about her saying I hate you?

I asked her what does it mean and she says when you don't like someone or don't love someone.

Yes I know I created the problem I was thoughtless, it was spare of the moment... but What can I do?

I am already teaching her to use alternative words to express herself, but the occasional I hate you slips out.

We are out of the house at leeast 5 days a week attending play groups, the library...

Answer 1

She needs to learn that hate is a bad word and I would punish my child for saying that. We are only allowed to say I love you in this house.

Answer 2

when she says it pop her and tell her it really hurts people feelings and is not a good word

Answer 3

I dont know what to tell you. My 5 year old told me im a b*tch because she learned it from some kid at school. I sent her in her room for 15 minutes. She never repeated it after.

But your daughter is a little too young to understand. Maybe sitting her down and telling her that saying "I hate you" hurts peoples feelings. Maybe tell her to say "I dont like you right now" instead. Its still kind of mean, but not as mean as i hate you.

My 18 month old son walks around saying "f*ck" all the time, so im stuck with that one. He doesnt understand not to say that, and so i try to say 'bummer' or something like that whenever he says that word. It doesnt work tho ...

Good luck!

Answer 4

Well, don't blame yourself for her hearing the phrase, "I hate you".  If she didn't hear it on the TV she would hear it somewhere else eventually.  Explain to her that it hurts you when she says that because you love her and it is very disrespectful for her to say that.  I wouldn't worry about her hearing the word, "stupid" or other words like that; there are worse things she could say.

Answer 5

To correct it now, all you can do is to keep explaining to her how that can hurt someone else's feelings and what would be the right way to say what she feels.

Also for future - maybe make sure she only watches shows that are child-safe. I am so worried, I don't even consider turning the TV on for my guy unless absolutely necessary. Good Luck!

Answer 6

teach her alternative phrases, don't make a big deal of her use of the phrases, and model good behavior.

Answer 7

Diffuse it. You'll need the practice for when the child becomes a teen anyhow. When she says "I hate you", say back to her "Well, i LOVE you and nothing will EVER change that."

You are doiong a good job giving her a larger vocabulary to express herself with and it's important that she knows that it is okay and normal to get angry and upset about things. You seem to be doing a great job with it, so keep it up!

Answer 8

Just get the wooden spoon and smack her a few times. Even better, if you smack her head, she'll get knocked out and you'll get some nice quiet time without that unloving little beast. When she wakes up, yell at her and call her unappreciative and tell her she just fell. Works every time~~ :)

Answer 9

I would suggest explaining to her that "hate" is a strong word that can really hurt people's feelings, including urs, and then plug in tha words that u said u've been teaching her to use as alternatives. Maybe, "i am really upset" or " i am not happy with u" " i don't wanna talk right now" or just "i'm angry at u mommy" any other way. Hate really is unacceptable, and if she still doesn't get it, maybe u should consider giving her a time out, or however u punish her when she does things wrong...

I've also noticed tha "stupid word on cartoons and i've also heard "i hate u" there, it shouldn't be.

Answer 10

First of all, it sounds like you are a really involved parent and I don't think you were thoughtless to let her watch TV that is considered child-safe.  This problem was going to happen eventually since she'll pick up words you don't like from another adult, other kids, or TV down the line anyway.  In fact it's great that it's happened now since it gives you a chance to address it early, let her know what's acceptable and not acceptable in your family, and start learning some alternatives.  

I think you're doing the right things already.  Just be consistent and clear.  Let her know that "I understand you're angry at me right now because I didn't let you....[eat/have/do whatever], but you are not allowed to say 'I hate you' just because you're angry.  I know you love me and you're angry at me right now because I didn't let you...[eat/have/do whatever], so instead you can tell me 'You made me really mad' and it is okay for you to feel that way."  If you keep reinforcing that her emotions are important and let her know what's acceptable to say and what isn't then she'll get the idea.  Don't punish her for the slip-ups, but keep reminding her firmly and sensitively about the limits, and try and stay in tune with what's really going on with her - the emotion at the heart of the issue!  Good luck!

Answer 11

Dylan said "I hate you" once, not so long ago, as I turned round to look at him he already knew he'd made a mistake. I said "That was a horrid thing to say, now say sorry mummy" and he did, but making a big deal out of a bad word usually encourages the word.

Don't blame yourself about the TV, kids programmers should be more responsible. Just cos kids like rude humour, doesn't mean every TV show should feature farts and boogers. Ed, Edd and Eddy is horrid for that, (at this point I should also dis Billy & Mandy - but I like that one, Grim is funny).

You can be walking down the street and someone can say the F word, you can't avoid it forever. You just have to learn how to deal with it.

If Dil says a rude word, I say "we don't say that it's a rude word" and at 5 he has enough social etiquette to know it's a no no,  but he was crying one night over the death of our dog (in February) and he said "Mummy I'm so pssed off" - and I let him have that one, a boy has a right to feel pssed off when his dog dies.

Answer 12

I haven't had a 3 year old in a while. Does punishment help? Maybe take away a favorite toy or make her stand in the corner for a 2 minutes if she says it? My son said, the teenage slang for a female dog "******!" in Old Navy one time when he was 3. I was so embarrassed!