My 3 year old has NO RESPECT for me, What should I do?

Question

My daughter is a twin and she is 3 years old. My husband is very disrespectful of me, and she is behaving the same way toward me. Calling me all kinds of mean names, and hitting me, and she thinks all of this is funny. What should I do? She is telling the daycare providers about my husbands actions. PLEASE HELP ME.. She thinks this is so funny.

Answer 1

Demand respect from both your husband and your child! You deserve it! She is learning his ways because you let him be disrespectful and she thinks it perfectly OK. I think your family may need some counseling.

Answer 2

you may need to discipline her a lot more so she understands what she does is very wrong.Tell your husband to learn better ways so he doesnt influence your daughter anymore

Answer 3

spank her bottom!  it'll only do her good.  

good luck...because if you don't discipline her now, you never will and she'll grow up to do this even more.

Answer 4

1. Talk to your husband. Tell him he is not 3 and to start acting his age.

2. Also tell him that at 3 a kid is like a sponge they hear something that an adult says they get in their minds that "oh if daddy does it, its ok for me to do that to".

3. Reverse Psychology, take away something or whatever she does to you do it back. When a child sees what i call the mirror reflection of themselves they won't like it.

4. Don't do hard core punishments, if she talks badlly to you put hot sauce on her mouth, my mom used to do that to me it always worked. That will give her the "if i say something bad I get hot sauce in my mouth" expression.

5. If you want to go religious, I suggest you say that whatever disrespectful thing she does say that God doesn't like that and he is very angry at you now.

But really talk to your husband he needs to start showing you respect in order for your daughter to show respect

Answer 5

Firstly tell your husband how you feel and that it is starting to affect the way you feel about him. If he doesn't care, then leave him. tell him to quit disrespecting you and act like a real man/father.

Once your daughter sees your husband respects you then so will she. He should also be helping you to correct your daughter for her bad behaviour, if she sees she can get away with it in front of him then she will do it all the more. The problem is with your husband not your daughter.

Answer 6

yell it relly scares them and if need be smack 'em around a bit

lol

Answer 7

Of course it's great if you can get dad to stop belittling you infront of the kids but for all I know you're divorced, or getting there, or, for whatever reason his attitude is out of your control.  So unlike the other answers so far, I'm just going to reply to the question: about your daughter.  If I were in your shoes, I'd try to immediately take a ste pback and look at it from an adult perspective - it's Very easy to get down and dirty with the kids and start to resent because it's hurting you.  But like your logic says: she thinks it's funny - she doesn't know any better.  So, there's your answer: teach her to know better.  You can use discipline such as time outs (only maybe 5 mins for such a young babe) in a naughty corner -from which under no circumstances she should get up from no matter how many times it takes before she gets it.  And a star or reward chart for days with good behaviour or times she treated you respectfully, helped you out etc.  Before this you need to explain to her when you're both calm and having fun that you are going to make some new rules at home, what they are, why they're being introduced, the fact that attitude is not accepted in your home, and to teach her and her twin what acceptable behaviour is.  I would also reinforce that this is a teaching: for her to learn how to be with new friends as she enters playgroups/kindergarten/nursery etc.  She genuinely does need to learn how to respect others because this will spread beyond you and grow into manipulating peers and disrespecting all sorts of people.  

Stars awarded = rewards: a trip to McD's/pizza joint/swimming with mum - anything you and she do together that's fun so she gets to see being with you - and in your good books is fun and rewarding and helps build a good relationship with mum.  

She needs to be your ally and you hers so anything that builds that before it gets broken down is good.  but don't be afraid to discipline her -all she's trying to do is push boundaries and she needs them; needs to know where they're at.  These should include both twins by the way even if she's the instigator.  Don't worry about her saying anything to daycare - kids say all sorts of embarrassing things, just smile or nod knowingly and mention how you're working on it with a wink.  Best wishes.

Answer 8

She needs discipline. If my child acted like that towards me, he would learn very quickly that it's NOT funny at all.  

Answer 9

Children learn by example, because she doesnt really understand her actions you need to get to the root of the problem. Your husband needs to shape up. Suggest family councelling, If he says no, convince him your daughter would benefit most if he was there.

Answer 10

If your husband is doing this maybe you should get a divorce or seriously talk to him and tell him that if he does not stop being the way he is being...then you will leave

and if he cares enough maybe he will realize and change, if not your are probably better off

you sound like a good mom, and i think that

you should not let anyone get in the way of that;-)

itll probably be hard for you...but its better than loosing or having a daughter or completely doesn't respect you at all

and if you wait any longer the harder it will be to get her to respect you

goodluck

Answer 11

If you start by sorting out how your husband treats you then your daughter will have a good role model.  Sounds like she is just doing what she thinks is right. x

Answer 12

I agree with Heart's in 808. You need to straighten them both up.  

Answer 13

Sounds like it time for you to lay the law down or she will lay it on you when she is 16 trust me Im seeing it now with my sister!  Not only with your daughter but your husband also.  What happens at home is no ones business except the family and you need to let you daughter know that, And I would talk to you husband either stop or leave!!!!  You can live pretty good on your own, look at all the mothers that so-  

Answer 14

Time for a little TOUGH LOVE...LIGHT her little REAR-END up!!! You should of already been doing this.A child ONLY does what you allow and you have allowed disrespect not only from her but from her father...Get A handle on both before it is too late~~Aloha~~

Answer 15

First of all, she is getting all of this from what she sees. Children are sponges and they learn from their environment. She sees ur husband doing this and thinks its normal and nothing but a game. If ur husband has no respect for you, and not even enough to keep his behavior out of sight of his child then this is not a good sign. You should either seek marriage counseling, personal counseling, another form of help or straight up leave his behind! u obviously love ur daughter to be so concerned that u would come on a public site and ask for help. most people would not be so brave. Secondly, i know this may not b legal but my mother whooped all 5 of our behinds and we are all productive parts of society. She never had behavioral problems frmo us because we knew who was the boss! Time outs may be way pass this childs disciplinary needs. u need to really show her some tough love. take her things away and b stern with her. but she will never learn if she keeps seeing u being treated badly. its bad for her development. get out before its too late. u deserve better

Answer 16

You answered your own question. Get rid of her father.

Answer 17

not sure what ehab s means but....first Id get your husband in check. If shes getting it from him, then you need to sit down and have a talk and if he don't wanna hear it then he obviously doesn't care about what his child is seeing and how shes behaving. Does the other twin do it too? Well second, I'd tell her when she does those things its not nice and if she continues, then yeah pop her in the mouth.

If shes telling daycare providers that your husband hits you and etc...you may very well have cps called on you. I'm not saying your doing anything wrong by any means, that's just the day-cares job if they feel somethings not right.

Answer 18

Number 1: Never let anyone and especially your husband, disrespect you any way.  Verbally and/or physically. You have to go to the source.  That's your husband.  If he can't treat you better, then he is obviously not a good enough father to respect his daughter's mom.  

Number 2: When your daughter tries to do the same, let her know that that is inappropriate and you are not going to take it. It's not a good thing to let it continue because in the future, she will be worse. If she has good behavior, then maybe you can give her treats.

Good luck!

Answer 19

tell her if she disrespects you one more times she has to spend 15 minutes no matter how loud she screams and if that doesn't work hit her on the butt a couple of times and have sit down  

Answer 20

You must remain calm and tell her her actions are not appropriate.  It's about staying consistent and calm that when she does something wrong that she is re-directed to something else knowing that she is doing something in-appropriate.  If she needs a time-out you can typically go by their age for the number of minutes in time-out.

You husband needs to start acting correctly also.  Showing no respect to you is not right in the first place and starting to show in your child.

Good luck