My 3 year old is so highstrung HELP!!!?

Question

My son is so highstrung and his temper is so bad i dont know what to do with him. He screams at the top of his lungs if he dont get his way and he will throw things across the room after i have gotten on to him and spanked him or put him in a time out. I had a baby 7 weeks ago and she cant get any rest because he is so loud and is always starting fights with his older brother. I am at my wits end i dont know what to do anymore it is causes serious problems with our family. Any suggestions? He is punished when he does bad things but it doesnt phase him.

Answer 1

Sounds like a little jealousy.  Attention is what he's looking for - no question there.  If he does something - don't over react.  Be calm, give him a time out.  Let him rant all he wants.  Just keep telling him (calmly) that when he's ready to join the family, you will be there.  Also, from time to time, you can ask him if he's finished yet.  If he says No, tell him "I'm going to count to 5 (and count slowly, but not too slow) and while I'm counting - I want you to cry - cry all you want, as loud as you want.  But when I'm finished, you will be finished too.  OK?"  This will work too - even though maybe not the first time.

He's looking for you to react and give him attention.  Spend some time with  just you and him (without the newborn)  Ask him to help you with the new baby - so he feels that he's part of the family and not being replaced by this new baby.

I would also check how much sugar he's eating.  Sugar is hidden in all sorts of foods.  Read the lables.  If it says high fructose corn syrup.  Stay away.  That's like injecting your son with liquid sugar.  

Hope this helps

Answer 2

children that age react by learned behavior.

Is he watching tv unsupervised? dont let him watch violent shows or shows with rebellious teens in it, because it doesnt matter there age, they are sponges. Or does anyone else in the family get away with tantrums? even you or your hubby getting angry and loud alot will make him think its normal.

or do you send him to childcare? if so ask the carers about his progress, communicate with them about his day and what he gets up to and if he goes off. He has gotten the idea from somewhere, that his bad attitude and throwing things, are a way to express displeasure and get attention.

Definately keep punishing him, he needs to know there are consiquences for his actions. ignoring him is neglect and will cause him to be more and more frustrated. Give him a good tap on the bottom, but not in anger as then it is abuse. Tell him, "no, we dont yell and throw things, that is not good. your getting a smack on the bottom because your being naughty" then give him a tap (dont bruise him! just discipline him) and then tell him "mummy loves you and wants you to be a good boy" then put him in his room and leave him alone to calm down. it is hard to discipline a 3 yr old, but they arent as dumb as people say they are. They are old enough to realise when mummy is not happy with there attitude.

but also, communicate with your son. Are you giving him enough loving attention when he is behaving? Make sure you spend quality time with him where the other kids are not drawing your attention away. If he knows he is important to you just as much as the other two, he will feel secure. See a family councellor on other methods and ideas.

but dont let anybody tell you that spanking your child is abusive. If you fail to discipline them, you will spoil them and they will be selfish a*****e adults, the kind you dont want to associate with. Ignoring the need to give your child a sound tap on the bum and calling it "building self esteem" has evidently not worked looking at these current young generations. Ignore people who try to make you feel bad about it, your doing the right thing. I am greatful for the fact that mum cared enough to discipline me. just remember, dont do it in anger and dont try to injure your child, these are both forms of abuse that will cause your child to think violence is a normal response to anger or displeasure. But do tell them you love them once they have calmed down, and let them know why you smacked them. Although its harder to do this with a 3 yr old, it can be done.

Answer 3

you need to work on an ignore type routine. he knows he gets a big reaction so he keeps doing it. stick with a time out and ignore punishment.

if you dont get upset, and ignore him. he knows the screaming isnt getting him any attention.

it takes awhile and be consistent. it will work!

Answer 4

sounds like he is mirroring your behavior.  slow your lives down, get rid of the TV, and spend some time together doing nothing in particular.